My wife wants me to work overtime over being with the kids. Which one is unreasonable? Getting married and creating a family of your own is a wonderful thing–but married couples are often blindsided by some of the challenges that come along with it. Finding the right balance for your family is an important pursuit, but it takes the two of you working together to make that balance a reality. So what do you do when you disagree on each of your roles in the family? Maybe your spouse wants to be at home with the kids, but you’d prefer…
Of the various “types” of intimacy in a marriage, the pursuit of spirituality together is one that’s often forgotten. When schedules get busy and life is chaotic with jobs and chores and kids, seeking God with your spouse too often becomes last priority. But spiritual intimacy is immeasurably powerful, and its fruit flows into and invigorates all other facets of a marriage. Even the most happily married couples eventually discover an innate longing to bond with their lover in a deeper way, not just for comfort, not just for passion—but also for meaning. Our lives go on day after day….
Your words matter. They carry power, and they can be forgiven–but hardly forgotten. They can fuel or kill momentum, build up or tear down. They are givers and takers of life. And it’s so very important to remember that they can never be taken back. We have all said things that we regret. We have hurt, torn down, or criticized in moments of frustration. And it’s likely that you have done this to your spouse–perhaps multiple times. You know the drill: harsh words, immediate regret. Most of us know better. To cut down our spouse with our words is never…
“Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, ‘Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.’” – Luke 2:13 (NIV) Jesus came to earth to bring peace and save humanity. Christmas was established to celebrate his birth, and to give us time to focus on the greatest gift ever given. But somewhere along the way, the holiday season shifted from a time of thankfulness and peaceful reflection to a time of overwhelm, stress, and discord. Unfortunately, the holidays have become a season that…
I’m so scared of speaking up. How do I open my feelings up to my husband? Many times, we find ourselves hesitant to speak up about our feelings to our spouses. Because we value harmony in our marriages, we find it easy to withdraw inside ourselves to avoid even the thought of creating conflict. In the spirit of making peace, we often misstep. When your spouse asks, “What’s wrong,” and you respond with, “Nothing,” you’re actually hurting your relationship. Sound familiar? It’s better to be up-front and honest with your spouse, even if it’s a little scary–and even if it…
Here we are at the end of another calendar year. For some of you, this year has been a high. Your marriage and family are in order, finances are good, loved ones are healthy. For others, maybe you have faced some significant challenges this year. Most likely, you fall somewhere in between. There is something about a new year and a fresh new start that triggers new hopes and dreams in all areas of our lives. For the purpose of this post, let’s focus on marriage. In this coming year, let’s resolve to refocus, rekindle, and maybe even revive our…
I’m not sure how we compare to other couples. How do we know if we ever need professional help? Have you ever wondered whether you and your spouse should seek professional marriage counseling? Do you suspect that the two of you could really use the help of an objective third party? If the two of you continually seem to butt heads over the same issues, over and over again, that’s a pretty clear indicator that it’s time to seek help. If you’re feeling stuck, frustrated, lonely, perpetually angry, or are ready to give up, those are major warning signs as…
When we get married, we expect that everything good in our lives will get better, and that being married will make the bad things disappear. Since our behaviors in marriage are fueled by our (often false!) beliefs about marriage, it’s important to shed light on unrealistic expectations and myths surrounding it. One of the greatest and most common myths we tend to believe (but don’t often express) when entering marriage is that we’ll somehow be completed or made whole by our husband or wife. As romantic as that concept sounds, it’s simply not true–and resting all your hope for happiness…
My wife and I express our feelings in different ways. We get tangled in them. Can you help? If you’ve found that you and your spouse have regular misunderstandings, you’re not alone! We’ve seen time and again, over years of research, that men and women simply do not communicate in the same ways. For many couples, it’s too easy to get “tangled up” in a web of miscommunication. In today’s video, we address some of the challenges that married couples face when it comes to expressing themselves clearly and effectively. Our ability to put feelings into words largely depends on…
So much about healthy relationships boils down to the attitudes that we bring to the table, and our attitudes are a direct outflow of the condition of our hearts. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Guarding your heart looks like resisting negative deposits like anger, resentment, and dishonesty, and inviting positive inputs like kindness, sacrifice, commitment, and unwavering love for your spouse. It’s filling yourself up with the word of God, surrounding yourself with wise friendships, and standing against what culture says is the standard of marriage. A LITTLE…