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Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott

Two Lies That Sabotage Relationships

By | Self Reflection | 7 Comments

Being in a relationship and part of a community helps you discover who you are. While relationships are the path to discovering yourself, they don’t promise the development of a complete self. If you haven’t achieved a solid sense of who you are on your own, then you are likely on a path to believe one of two lies that are guaranteed to sabotage any relationship: 1) I need this person to be complete, and 2) If this person needs me, I’ll be complete. There are no shortcuts to personal growth and wholeness. If you try to complete yourself through…

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How to Repair a Relationship Damaged by Overcontrol

By | Conflict, Marriage | 6 Comments

“That is the mystery of grace: it never comes too late.” – Francois Mauriac Nothing suffers more from overcontrol than our relationships. Trying to control other people does nothing besides push them away. At the root of all controlling behavior is the desire to control one’s own anxiety. For the controller, it creates peace and calm and a taste of power over everything that seems beyond real control; namely people and time. For “control freaks” compromise doesn’t feel gratifying – a victory does. The result? Relationships are damaged. So how do you repair a relationship you’ve damaged by overcontrol? Every…

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Becoming a Step Parent: How to Ease into Your New Role

By | Communication, Marriage, Parenting | 4 Comments

It’s a gift to enter into a family with kids. The children are blessed to have so much love around them, and your heart is in such a great place to want to be a part of their life. You can never have too much love in a family! In some ways, the children will soak up this new relationship with you and will love having another parental figure in their life. However, there is another part to this equation. Change is sometimes a hard thing, especially for children. Children tend to struggle and show resistance when they are confronted…

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How to Overcome The Silent Treatment

By | Communication, Conflict, Marriage | 3 Comments

The silent treatment. Need we say more? Most of us have experienced this at one time or another – either as the giver or the receiver. Spouses can become out of synch; one is ready to tackle the issue, while the other has completely backed off to the point of silence. Regardless of who is the culprit, the silent treatment can be devastating and may feel like an impossible feud to handle. After all, silence makes no sound – but says so much. So what should you do when your spouse gives you the silent treatment? How should you respond?…

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The Importance of Emotional Self-Awareness

By | Communication, Self Reflection | 10 Comments

Controlling one’s emotions is not easy, but it can be done! Self-awareness is the ability to pull back and recognize the feeling you are having. When you have an emotional response and are able to bring it into your awareness, the chances of handling it appropriately improve. You can’t expect your awareness to magically appear, you need to will your awareness. The key is to decide with intention to be objective about your feelings. If you are not aware of your feelings and how to handle them, chances are you may be engulfed, suppressed, or resigned. Today, we are discussing…

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How to Infuse Gratitude into Your Relationship

By | Marriage | 4 Comments

“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” – Marcel Proust Gratitude is one of the few things in a marriage that can instantly and measurably improve a couple’s relationship. The benefits of gratitude are calculable and act as a booster shot for romance. When you are in a romantic rut, try infusing your relationship with a little gratitude. When you do this, you’ll become more elevated, energized and inspired to love better. So, are you ready to add more gratitude to your relationship? Chances are we…

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Practical Ways to Affirm Your Spouse

By | Communication, Marriage | 6 Comments

Chances are you are tuned in to your spouse’s self-esteem and notice when they are feeling vulnerable. When you spot this trait in your partner ask yourself, “Where is my spouse feeling most vulnerable right now, and what can I do to help build them up and affirm who they are?” There are practical ways you can boost your partner’s confidence. It can be easy to get stuck in somewhat of a rut (like complimenting how your partner looks every-single-day by saying “you look nice”). Don’t get us wrong, complimenting your partner’s looks are important, however there are other ways…

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Four Communication Barriers and How to Spot Them

By | Communication, Conflict, Marriage | 10 Comments

Silence is a powerful communicator. Whenever we see a marriage that is slowly disintegrating, it’s usually followed by the couple concluding “they can’t communicate” or “they don’t talk anymore.” These couples believe that their non-talking is a lack of communication. When in fact it’s the opposite. When you don’t talk, silence sends a surplus of negative messages. Silence is powerful in its own way. Silence is not the cause of poor communication – the fear of pain is. It’s human nature to seek pleasure and avoid pain. The truth is people actually avoid pain first, then seek pleasure. And under…

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Three Tips for Cultivating Lifelong Love

By | Communication, Marriage | 9 Comments

Lifelong love does not happen by chance. It’s an art that must be learned, practiced and honed. Every successful marriage is the result of two people working together to diligently and skillfully cultivate their love. It takes intention, and is well worth the work. So how can you reach a level of ultimate love in your relationship? Today, we are sharing three tips that will help you and your partner build heartfelt and prevailing love. When you combine passion, intimacy, and commitment, you will be well on your way to a growing and flourishing a healthy marriage and lifelong love….

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Solving Six Common Saboteurs in Marriage: Part Two

By | Communication, Conflict, Marriage | 2 Comments

Last week, we started our 2-part series on common saboteurs in marriage and how to stop them in their tracks. Most marriages will likely fall victim to one of these sneaky attacks at some time or the other. They tiptoe into our marriages without a sound, and can go undetected until they have already made a mark. However, there are ways you and your partner can fight these saboteurs. Today, we are picking back up on our series and discussing the final three: drift, debt, and pain from the past. Let’s dive in. Saboteur Four: Drift Many couples complain, and…

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