Category

Self Reflection

How to Become More Approachable Through Humility

By | Scripture, Self Reflection | 4 Comments

Without a doubt, Jesus was the most approachable person who ever walked the Earth. He was tuned into the people on the fringes–those who were most likely to be outcast and excluded. Jesus was shockingly accessible to everyone, including people who were considered “undesirables”. He certainly wasn’t like the other “holy men” of his time. In fact, His accessibility made them livid. That’s because the rabbis and priests of Jesus’s time operated on principles of isolation and exclusion, holding everyone at arm’s length. In contrast, Jesus welcomed everyone with open arms. The Greek word for approachable is parresia, which means…

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Sexual Experience Before Marriage: Talking With Your Fiance

By | Communication, Self Reflection | 8 Comments

It’s common for couples to come into marriage with some “baggage” they have to work through. Everyone’s baggage is different, but a situation many engaged couples face involves previous sexual experience. Whether that’s experience with your fiance or an ex, it can add extra emotional weight to your relationship. It can be upsetting to know that one or both of you has sexual history from a previous relationship. If your fiance was in a relationship involving sexual intimacy, it can create self-doubt, anxiety, sadness, and regret. Your sexual history (or your fiance’s) is something that will haunt your forever–but only…

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3 Pre-Marriage Challenges and How to Handle Them

By | Communication, Self Reflection | 9 Comments

When you’re dating or engaged, the pre-marriage period leading up to the wedding can feel excruciatingly long. On top of that, this time in your life carries its own unique challenges. How can you and your significant other navigate these challenges successfully? Today, we’re sharing three common issues that couples face during dating and engagement. Let’s jump in! 1. Help! Our mentors don’t think we should marry. It’s difficult to learn that someone you look up to, like a trusted friend or your pastor, doesn’t support the marriage you’ve been planning. But when someone you trust raises a red flag…

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How to Share More Prayer with Your Spouse

By | Communication, Self Reflection, Time | 7 Comments

Prayer is an essential part of life as a Christian that connects you to directly to God. Incorporating regular prayer in your marriage is a powerful way to not only deepen your relationship with Him, but also with one another. It’s a tool to increase intimacy and grow spiritually. Life is busy. We understand how difficult it can be to take time for daily prayer on your own–and how much more challenging it is to incorporate your equally-busy spouse into that routine. Luckily, there are several ways the two of you can make more time to pray together, and we’re…

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5 Tips for Loving Others Without Judgment

By | Scripture, Self Reflection | 7 Comments

Loving like Jesus did requires the ability to extend grace–in other words, to love others without judgment. For most of us, this is much easier said than done. It’s easy to use judgmentalism as a way to mask our own insecurities and elevate ourselves above others. Being judgmental makes us conceited and self-righteous. It’s an addictive delusion that artificially boosts our worth. Never mind the Bible’s words: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.” This is one hard habit to break. A judgmental, self-righteous attitude prevents us from giving grace. Luckily, it is possible to shed our judgmental…

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Selfishness in Reverse: How to Lovingly Give More of Yourself

By | Scripture, Self Reflection | 4 Comments

“Selfish people are, by definition, those whose activities are devoted to bringing themselves happiness. Yet, at least as judged by others, these selfish people are far less likely to be happy than those whose efforts are devoted to making others happy.” – Dr. Bernard Rimland, Ph.D. What does it mean to be self-giving? I (Les) like to think of it as selfishness in reverse. It’s a quality we must have if we want to love like Jesus did. Selflessness gives without the expectation of repayment or appreciation. It’s something we extend out of kindness and compassion. It’s easy to get…

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3 Ways to Demonstrate Love Mindfully

By | Scripture, Self Reflection | 2 Comments

Mindfulness, or attentiveness, is a practice that can be applied to our entire lives to help us be more fully engaged with both ourselves and others. When we fail to be mindful of what’s happening inside and around us, we’re prone to a sort of “perceptual blindness.” This means that we could easily be missing the obvious–especially when it comes to the people we encounter. When we’re too wrapped up in our own activities and to-do lists, we’re missing others’ needs. Then, we leave a gap where we could have provided help, attention, affection, guidance, or love. Loving mindfully is…

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How to Love Like Jesus

By | Scripture, Self Reflection | 7 Comments

“Observe how Christ loved us. Love like that.” – Ephesians 5:2 Loving like Jesus is the best way to live. When we love like Him, we can step outside ourselves and clearly see our loved ones and their needs. We can shed layers of selfishness, resentment, anxiety, pettiness, and entitlement. Most of all, we can rise above our human imperfections and step into transcendent love. Jesus’s model of love challenges us to stop settling for anything less than “the most excellent way.” If you want to love like Jesus, read on. Can anyone really love like Jesus? When it comes…

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Opposite Sex Friendships: 3 Scenarios and What to Do

By | Communication, Conflict, Self Reflection | 31 Comments

It can be a challenge to balance the intimacy of our marriages with the other important friendships in our lives. This is especially true if we have close friends of the opposite gender. While same-sex friendships tend to be easy to nurture after we’re married, there’s an entirely different set of considerations when it comes to having opposite-sex friends. The first question to ask ourselves is, where are we going to invest our energy and focus? Obviously, our marriage is the most precious relationship to protect. Outside of that, we have to decide how we’re going to approach our other…

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7 Secrets to a Healthy Dating Relationship

By | Communication, Self Reflection | One Comment

Dating can be a thrilling, romantic whirlwind. It’s also a complex developing relationship that requires careful consideration and attention to detail as you get to know one another over time. Ultimately, dating leads to one of the biggest decisions you’ll ever make in your life–the decision to marry–so it’s important to cultivate a healthy relationship with your dating partner from the very beginning. By following principles of what we call “smart love” and taking your time, you can build a healthy relationship with your dating partner. That’s why we’ve compiled this guide of 7 tips to help you start on…

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