Category

Self Reflection

Why Self-Awareness Leads to Better Love

By Self Reflection 5 Comments

In marriage, we often put so much of our focus on our spouse and their needs that we fall out of touch with our own. The problem is, that kind of thinking leads us to expect our spouse to do the same thing for us! When they don’t, this can lead to resentment and conflict. The best way to truly care for one another is to become more self-aware in addition to being attentive to your spouse. Although it may seem counterintuitive, self-awareness actually leads to better love and a happier marriage. Let’s talk about how that works. Self-Awareness Cultivates…

Read More

Passive vs. Aggressive Problem Solvers: Which One Are You?

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage, Relationships, Self Reflection One Comment

Do you tackle problems head-on with a burning desire to resolve them as quickly as possible? Or would you rather take your time processing a conflict before you speak up about it? As a step toward constructive problem-solving, it’s important to identify whether you solve problems in a passive or aggressive manner. The type of problem solver you are can easily damage the sense of emotional safety in your marriage, so it’s important for you both to get familiar with your problem-solving style–and then compare notes. The Passive Problem Solver People who prefer to deal with issues passively are content…

Read More

What to Do When You and Your Spouse Have Experienced Shared Trauma

By Communication, Marriage, Relationships, Self Reflection 4 Comments

We often hear stories from couples where one spouse is struggling to recover after a prolonged trauma or a traumatic event, and their partner needs advice on how to help them through it. Sometimes, though, both husband and wife are dealing with trauma, and they don’t know how best to support each other. Perhaps you shared a traumatic experience like a health emergency, a car accident, or the loss of a loved one. It may have been an event that happened relatively quickly, or it could have been a sustained crisis that went on for an extended period of time….

Read More

6 Tips for Connecting When Silence Sets In

By Communication, Marriage, Relationships, Self Reflection No Comments

It’s no exaggeration that non-talkers feel it’s painful to speak when there’s an issue at hand. They silently cry out: “Don’t touch me! Leave me alone.” It’s likely these quiet partners have had their hearts kicked across the floor in the past, and when it comes time to work out issues in their current relationship, it’s easier to clam up and vow to never open up again. They become the silent partner. Yet, deep inside silent partners know that their time for healing will come. If you are a silent partner, or are in a relationship with one, there are…

Read More

Five Hazards to Avoid That Affect Happiness

By Marriage, Relationships, Self Reflection 6 Comments

Just like a skilled golfer who surveys their course for bunkers and hazards, we need to survey our future. Relationships with your spouse, family and friends will be much smoother if you examine your journey ahead and take note of potential hazards to your happiness. Planning for your future goes far beyond finances and basic means. It should also include a plan for your happiness that avoids any unnecessary bumps in the road. Today, we are exposing five hurdles that can steal your happiness; but only if you let them. 1. Comparing Ourselves to Others The reason comparing ourselves to…

Read More

Speaking Your Spouse’s Spiritual Language

By Marriage, Self Reflection 2 Comments

There are a number of equally valid pathways for finding spiritual fulfillment. Not everyone sees or relates to God in the same way. In fact, one of the biggest stumbling blocks to spiritual intimacy in marriage is a failure to understand and appreciate the other’s spiritual language. Don’t expect everyone else’s spiritual walk to be equal to yours. Spirituality isn’t carbon copied to fit everyone identically. There are a wonderful variety of ways to relate to God that are equally compelling. Today, we are discussing nine common spiritual pathways. We have adapted and adjusted these pathways for couples with inspiration…

Read More

How To Become Independently Whole

By Self Reflection 2 Comments

Last week, we discussed two lies that can sabotage a relationship. Believing the lies that you need someone else to complete you is a fairy-tale misconception. Until you have established a sense of self-worth and independent wholeness, true love will likely be on hold. What can you do to become whole on your own, and how do you discover your inner self-worth? Every person’s journey is unique. Undoubtedly, this journey will be tested by your determination – but it can be done! Today, we want to share four steps that will take you far along your path to becoming independently…

Read More

Two Lies That Sabotage Relationships

By Self Reflection 7 Comments

Being in a relationship and part of a community helps you discover who you are. While relationships are the path to discovering yourself, they don’t promise the development of a complete self. If you haven’t achieved a solid sense of who you are on your own, then you are likely on a path to believe one of two lies that are guaranteed to sabotage any relationship: 1) I need this person to be complete, and 2) If this person needs me, I’ll be complete. There are no shortcuts to personal growth and wholeness. If you try to complete yourself through…

Read More

The Importance of Emotional Self-Awareness

By Communication, Self Reflection 10 Comments

Controlling one’s emotions is not easy, but it can be done! Self-awareness is the ability to pull back and recognize the feeling you are having. When you have an emotional response and are able to bring it into your awareness, the chances of handling it appropriately improve. You can’t expect your awareness to magically appear, you need to will your awareness. The key is to decide with intention to be objective about your feelings. If you are not aware of your feelings and how to handle them, chances are you may be engulfed, suppressed, or resigned. Today, we are discussing…

Read More

Finding Strength in Surrender: Part Two

By Scripture, Self Reflection One Comment

“I have learned how to be content with whatever I have.” Philippians 4:11 Last week, we started our two-part series on the benefits of surrender. When we open our hearts to surrender, we release the burden of maintaining our ideals of what a perfect life should be. We learn to love the life we live in, and let go of faults or mistakes. Lastly, we learn to forgive and not dwell on the past. There is immense power that is found in surrendering. It’s finding the strength to carry through that can be tough, sometimes. This week we are touching…

Read More