Category

Conflict

3 Truths About Anger Everyone Should Know

By Conflict, Relationships 8 Comments

Anger is a natural part of being human, but it can also become destructive when uncontrolled. Likewise, anger is a natural part of conflict. It’s important that we understand how to manage anger so that we can effectively manage conflicts in our marriages and other interpersonal relationships. Anger tends to be the result of a perceived injustice against us. When improperly processed and communicated, anger can damage relationships–sometimes irreversibly. Uncontrolled anger can muddy the waters of a good fight and prevent us from getting to the core of the issue at hand. Let’s look at a few truths about anger…

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Passive vs. Aggressive Problem Solvers: Which One Are You?

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage, Relationships, Self Reflection One Comment

Do you tackle problems head-on with a burning desire to resolve them as quickly as possible? Or would you rather take your time processing a conflict before you speak up about it? As a step toward constructive problem-solving, it’s important to identify whether you solve problems in a passive or aggressive manner. The type of problem solver you are can easily damage the sense of emotional safety in your marriage, so it’s important for you both to get familiar with your problem-solving style–and then compare notes. The Passive Problem Solver People who prefer to deal with issues passively are content…

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4 Tips for Constructively Resolving Conflict with Your Spouse

By Conflict, Marriage, Relationships One Comment

In last week’s blog post, we discussed five reasons why you shouldn’t wait to resolve a conflict with your spouse. It’s vital to build a relationship based on open communication and trust; allowing conflicts to go on for long periods of time damages both. The good news is, there are many useful strategies and tools available that can help you and your spouse constructively resolve conflict. In our book, The Good Fight, we lay out some ground rules in chapter 5, “Rules for Fight Club”. Today, we want to share a quick overview of these core rules to give you…

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5 Reasons You Shouldn’t Wait to Resolve a Conflict with Your Spouse

By Conflict, Marriage 9 Comments

Every married couple experiences conflict in their marriage from time to time. None of us want to face difficult situations with our spouse, but conflict and disagreements are part of life. Because many of us would prefer to avoid conflict, we fall into a habit of pushing our problems further and further down the line. Whatever our reasons, it’s clear that fear plays a hand in our avoidance. The problem is, avoiding hard discussions and conflict resolution with your spouse actually makes problems worse and harder to overcome. Let’s take a look at five reasons why you shouldn’t wait to…

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10 Ways to Let Go of Control in Your Marriage

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage, Relationships One Comment

Being a control freak in your marriage–or in your life, in general–means you don’t exactly make life easy for your spouse. That probably seems counterintuitive, doesn’t it? We control because we want to make life feel easier, more predictable, or more secure. But it actually makes the people around us miserable–and it makes us miserable, too. In last week’s post, we discussed the root of most controlling behavior–anxiety–and shared 6 signs that you might be a control freak. This week, we’re going to talk about 10 things you can do about it. 1. Learn how to delegate. Delegating is tough…

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6 Signs You Might Be A Control Freak In Your Marriage

By Conflict, Marriage 6 Comments

Have you ever been told that you’re a controlling person? Has your spouse told you? Chances are, your first reaction was to deny the allegation. How could they say such a thing? Why would they say it? If your spouse has expressed something similar, it’s important to take a deep dive into your behavior patterns–something that can tell so much about your emotional state. People who are controlling are often riddled with anxiety. To cope with their unwanted feelings, they attempt to control too much, too often. If you reflect on the controlling people you’ve known in your lifetime, chances…

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3 Reasons Why You Should Walk in Your Spouse’s Shoes

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage, Relationships 6 Comments

In marriage, it’s not always obvious what our spouse needs. It’s not always obvious to them what we need, either. One way to get in better touch with each other’s needs is to cultivate empathy. To create more empathy in our marriages, we need to first walk in each other’s shoes. A simple way to do that is what we call trading places. Simply put, trading places means you picture things from your spouse’s perspective. It helps you get in tune with one another, or reconnect if you’ve drifted apart. Everyone needs to check in with their empathy from time…

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Four Tips to Alleviate Chore Wars

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage, Relationships No Comments

Chores tend to be a frequent and hot source of arguments in relationships. Why? Because chores are there – day in and day out. For many of us, chores aren’t on the top of our to-do list, which makes arguing about household duties an easy thing to do. Couples enter marriage with unconscious expectations, the key is to communicate these expectations and determine together who does what. As your lives grow and get more complicated (children, career shifts, etc.) the household responsibilities become more complicated as well. Chores will never disappear, but your disagreements about them can. Here are four…

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How to Cope with a Backstabber

By Conflict, Relationships 7 Comments

“Loyalty means nothing unless it has at its heart the absolute principle of self-sacrifice.” Woodrow Wilson Being victim to backstabbing is downright painful. Backstabbers put on fronts that appear accommodating, loyal and even sacrificial. Then, without warning they strike. There’s many reasons why backstabbers act as they do. They’re selfish, have a lack of self-esteem and a sense of powerlessness. They’re also likely hiding feelings of inadequacy and feel resentful of what you have that they don’t. Whatever the cause, there’s no good or right reason to be a backstabber. Sometimes, having a backstabber in your life is unavoidable. You…

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5 Steps For Mending Broken Friendships

By Conflict, Relationships 3 Comments

When friendships fall apart, it can feel like it’s impossible to pick up the pieces and fit them back together. Some broken friendships are destined to stay that way. However, when you have a special intimate friendship that brought meaning to your life, a renewal is important. Restored relationships give us perspective on our experiences, and deepen our lives. Not all friendship fissures are fatal. If you have a long lost friendship you’d like to rekindle, chances are you’ll be able to make a meaningful reconnection. Today, we are discussing a five step plan that will help you determine whether…

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