Category

Conflict

Is Fighting Allowed In A Christian Marriage?

By Conflict One Comment

Many Christian couples are highly uncomfortable with the idea of disagreeing with one another, much less fighting outright. For many people in the church, the idea of conflict in their marriages is crippling. A common question we’ve been asked is, is fighting allowed in a Christian marriage? The truth is, getting into disagreements and arguments is a common challenge every couple faces. While it’s not inherently wrong to fight, it’s how you fight that dictates whether you’ll be able to solve the problem at hand. So fighting, in and of itself, isn’t necessarily wrong in a Christian marriage; it’s whether…

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3 Strategies For Successfully Managing Anger in Marriage

By Conflict One Comment

Marriage typically tends to produce more anger than other relationships. Perhaps this is because spending so much time with another person naturally generates more opportunities to become angry. We also put down our guard with our spouse — the person we love most. While being vulnerable and unguarded allows for greater intimacy, it also opens the door to more anger and frustration. Although every married couple will experience anger toward one another, it should still be kept in check. After all, how we manage our emotions directly affects our relationships, particularly the closest ones. Add disappointment, unmet expectations, and other…

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Does Keeping Secrets Make A Marriage Unhealthy?

By Communication, Conflict 3 Comments

Does keeping secrets in marriage make it inherently unhealthy? Over our years of marriage, and our years counseling married and engaged couples, we’ve found the answer to be both nuanced and subjective. The truth is, the idea that a couple should never keep secrets sounds and feels good at the surface level–but can a marriage really handle an overflow of transparency at all times? Many of us grew up believing that there are no secrets in a healthy marriage. We come to believe that spouses should tell one another everything, no matter what–hiding no details and laying everything out in…

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6 Tips for Getting Control of Your Anger During a Conflict

By Conflict No Comments

You’re in the middle of an argument with your spouse, and emotions are running high. You’re feeling angry and tempted to lash out at your spouse in order to get your voice heard. Over the course of the argument, you become increasingly frustrated, but you want to keep your anger under control. However, that’s getting more and more difficult by the minute. So how do we get control of our anger when we’re in a heated discussion, or even a fight, with our husband or wife? Read on to learn how. 1. Slow down. Don’t let your anger run away…

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What You Need to Know About Everyday Problems in Marriage

By Conflict, Marriage 3 Comments

Every couple experiences problems in their marriage, and those issues seem to be universally common. If you could be a fly on the wall in our office during the counseling sessions we’ve held over the years, you would hear many similar stories and scenarios repeating themselves among a host of different couples. While the individual features of each scenario are unique, many of the issues come down to the same core problems. Once the honeymoon phase of a marriage has passed, many couples are perplexed when issues and disappointments begin to take root. Building a happy, lifelong marriage takes work,…

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The Top 5 Conflicts Every Married Couple Faces

By Conflict, Marriage No Comments

Sooner or later, every married couple fights. However, there are some conflicts that are guaranteed to come up between spouses at some point in your relationship. In our experience, the top 5 conflicts every married couple faces are incredibly common and can cause a lot of tension in relationships when left unresolved. Wondering what those common conflicts are? Let’s dive right in. 1. Finances Money is one of the most common issues married couples fight about. Whether you’re talking about spending styles, how much is in your savings account, how much you should spend on vacations and holidays, or even…

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How to Navigate Life with Demanding Family Members

By Conflict, In-laws & Family No Comments

All families face personality clashes, strain, and conflict from time to time. If someone in your family is demanding or difficult to interact with, their behavior makes interactions tough for everyone. A demanding parent, grandparent, aunt, or uncle can put a significant strain on a married couple’s relationship if the couple doesn’t have a game plan for navigating that relative’s demands. Demanding family members can create unnecessary drama for everyone–something most people want to avoid. Planning a calm, loving response to neutralize stress is important so that you, your spouse, and the rest of your family can enjoy a healthy,…

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Should I Confront My Passive-Aggressive Spouse?

By Communication, Conflict One Comment

Imagine that you come home from work, and the garbage can is full. Your spouse is milling around the kitchen, slamming drawers and pot lids. As you attempt to wind down from the work day, you can’t help but notice that they’re really making a lot of noise. So, you head into the kitchen to find out what’s going on. “Honey, are you all right?” “I’m fine,” they say…but the dishes keep rattling. You’re distinctly aware that something isn’t right, but you can’t put your finger on what, exactly, it is. And if they won’t tell you what’s happening, how…

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4 Ways to Help Your Spouse Trust You Again

By Conflict, Marriage One Comment

Have you ever damaged or broken your spouse’s trust in you? Earning that trust back takes hard work and patience on both your parts. The good news is, in many situations, it’s possible to earn their trust again. First, you’re probably already aware that your actions have had a grievous impact on your spouse and their sense of wellbeing. Second, we understand that it’s painful to learn you’ve hurt the person you love most. This may be one of the most painful situations you ever walk through together. Easing back into a trusting relationship with your spouse takes commitment, time,…

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My Spouse’s Criticism Broke My Heart. How Do I Heal?

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage 8 Comments

Criticism is toxic to happy marriages, poisoning happiness and sabotaging your growth as a couple. A critical nature kills intimacy and causes the victim to build walls around themselves in an attempt to ward off future criticism. Worse, criticism can cripple your personal growth and your emotional health. When your spouse criticizes you, it hurts. Being picked apart and scrutinized by anyone is hurtful, but when it’s your husband or wife, it’s worse. Not only is criticism demoralizing, it lacks the appreciation and regard we want to feel from our spouse. If you have a servant heart, spousal criticism will…

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