Is It Okay to Take a Break During a Fight?

By Conflict 3 Comments

The idea of resolving a disagreement or ending a fight as quickly as possible is a popular one, particularly in marriage. But what if the fight lasts a long time? Is it okay to take a break when that happens, or do you have to push through? When you’re in the midst of an argument with your spouse, it feels highly uncomfortable. It’s natural that you’d want to resolve the disagreement and get back to normal as soon as you can. But sometimes, it takes longer than you’d expect to resolve a challenging issue. And sometimes, that means you’ll need…

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Help! My Spouse Always Sides With My In-Laws. What Can I Do?

By Conflict, In-laws & Family 2 Comments

In most marriages, it’s common to have an occasional clash with in-laws or other extended family members. After all, we’re all human, and it’s inevitable that we will disagree with one another from time to time. But what if these clashes are happening on a regular basis, and your spouse always seems to be on your in-laws’ side? What do you do then? Some relationships naturally have more friction than others, and that can add unnecessary stress to your dynamic over the years. It can also be taxing on your marriage, especially if your spouse defaults to taking his or…

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Is Fighting Allowed In A Christian Marriage?

By Conflict One Comment

Many Christian couples are highly uncomfortable with the idea of disagreeing with one another, much less fighting outright. For many people in the church, the idea of conflict in their marriages is crippling. A common question we’ve been asked is, is fighting allowed in a Christian marriage? The truth is, getting into disagreements and arguments is a common challenge every couple faces. While it’s not inherently wrong to fight, it’s how you fight that dictates whether you’ll be able to solve the problem at hand. So fighting, in and of itself, isn’t necessarily wrong in a Christian marriage; it’s whether…

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3 Strategies For Successfully Managing Anger in Marriage

By Conflict One Comment

Marriage typically tends to produce more anger than other relationships. Perhaps this is because spending so much time with another person naturally generates more opportunities to become angry. We also put down our guard with our spouse — the person we love most. While being vulnerable and unguarded allows for greater intimacy, it also opens the door to more anger and frustration. Although every married couple will experience anger toward one another, it should still be kept in check. After all, how we manage our emotions directly affects our relationships, particularly the closest ones. Add disappointment, unmet expectations, and other…

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Does Keeping Secrets Make A Marriage Unhealthy?

By Communication, Conflict 6 Comments

Does keeping secrets in marriage make it inherently unhealthy? Over our years of marriage, and our years counseling married and engaged couples, we’ve found the answer to be both nuanced and subjective. The truth is, the idea that a couple should never keep secrets sounds and feels good at the surface level–but can a marriage really handle an overflow of transparency at all times? Many of us grew up believing that there are no secrets in a healthy marriage. We come to believe that spouses should tell one another everything, no matter what–hiding no details and laying everything out in…

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6 Tips for Getting Control of Your Anger During a Conflict

By Conflict No Comments

You’re in the middle of an argument with your spouse, and emotions are running high. You’re feeling angry and tempted to lash out at your spouse in order to get your voice heard. Over the course of the argument, you become increasingly frustrated, but you want to keep your anger under control. However, that’s getting more and more difficult by the minute. So how do we get control of our anger when we’re in a heated discussion, or even a fight, with our husband or wife? Read on to learn how. 1. Slow down. Don’t let your anger run away…

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What You Need to Know About Everyday Problems in Marriage

By Conflict, Marriage 3 Comments

Every couple experiences problems in their marriage, and those issues seem to be universally common. If you could be a fly on the wall in our office during the counseling sessions we’ve held over the years, you would hear many similar stories and scenarios repeating themselves among a host of different couples. While the individual features of each scenario are unique, many of the issues come down to the same core problems. Once the honeymoon phase of a marriage has passed, many couples are perplexed when issues and disappointments begin to take root. Building a happy, lifelong marriage takes work,…

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The Top 5 Conflicts Every Married Couple Faces

By Conflict, Marriage No Comments

Sooner or later, every married couple fights. However, there are some conflicts that are guaranteed to come up between spouses at some point in your relationship. In our experience, the top 5 conflicts every married couple faces are incredibly common and can cause a lot of tension in relationships when left unresolved. Wondering what those common conflicts are? Let’s dive right in. 1. Finances Money is one of the most common issues married couples fight about. Whether you’re talking about spending styles, how much is in your savings account, how much you should spend on vacations and holidays, or even…

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How to Navigate Life with Demanding Family Members

By Conflict, In-laws & Family No Comments

All families face personality clashes, strain, and conflict from time to time. If someone in your family is demanding or difficult to interact with, their behavior makes interactions tough for everyone. A demanding parent, grandparent, aunt, or uncle can put a significant strain on a married couple’s relationship if the couple doesn’t have a game plan for navigating that relative’s demands. Demanding family members can create unnecessary drama for everyone–something most people want to avoid. Planning a calm, loving response to neutralize stress is important so that you, your spouse, and the rest of your family can enjoy a healthy,…

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Should I Confront My Passive-Aggressive Spouse?

By Communication, Conflict One Comment

Imagine that you come home from work, and the garbage can is full. Your spouse is milling around the kitchen, slamming drawers and pot lids. As you attempt to wind down from the work day, you can’t help but notice that they’re really making a lot of noise. So, you head into the kitchen to find out what’s going on. “Honey, are you all right?” “I’m fine,” they say…but the dishes keep rattling. You’re distinctly aware that something isn’t right, but you can’t put your finger on what, exactly, it is. And if they won’t tell you what’s happening, how…

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