How to Put Good Communication Into Practice

By | Communication, Marriage | 3 Comments

Let’s face it, communication in marriage can sometimes be tough. Even if we are great communicators, remembering to put our communication tools into practice each day is its own challenge. The follow through on practicing your communication skills effectively is what counts. It comes down to choosing to be a good communicator. Communication roadblocks can feel detrimental in a relationship, but they can be avoided by following a few simple steps. Here are three ways you can intentionally put your communication skills into practice each and every day. 1. Practice fundamentals Going back to basic fundamentals can help with a…

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How to Cope with a Tenacious Teen

By | Communication, Conflict, Parenting | 6 Comments

Have you ever felt desperate trying to cope with your tenacious teen? If so, you’re not alone. Teens more than any other age group feel out of control. Deep down, they aren’t quite sure who they are and generally struggle to take possession of their own lives. Achieving a sense of identity is one of the major developmental tasks of a teenager. Somewhere between the ages of twelve and twenty adolescents are forced to choose who they are; a formidable and scary task. Because of this force to make up their minds, they are compelled to control, and can become…

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Two Rules for Cultivating Ownership During a Fight

By | Communication, Conflict, Marriage | 6 Comments

We’ve said it time and time again; good fighters own their proverbial piece of the conflict pie. They know that criticism is for cowards. They are also aware that blame and shame never lead to positive outcomes. Good fighters take a bold step and admit when they’ve made a mistake. In any fight, it’s important to understand that it’s not who is wrong but what is wrong that counts. And good fighters know this. If you are lacking the tools you need to own your piece of the pie, then this post is for you. There are two rules for…

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Speaking Your Spouse’s Spiritual Language

By | Marriage, Self Reflection | 2 Comments

There are a number of equally valid pathways for finding spiritual fulfillment. Not everyone sees or relates to God in the same way. In fact, one of the biggest stumbling blocks to spiritual intimacy in marriage is a failure to understand and appreciate the other’s spiritual language. Don’t expect everyone else’s spiritual walk to be equal to yours. Spirituality isn’t carbon copied to fit everyone identically. There are a wonderful variety of ways to relate to God that are equally compelling. Today, we are discussing nine common spiritual pathways. We have adapted and adjusted these pathways for couples with inspiration…

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How Adding Value to Others Boosts Your Happiness

By | Recreation, Time | No Comments

“The only real happy people are those who have learned how to serve.” – Rick Warren It’s no secret that when you bring joy to others, you also bring joy to yourself. The notion of kindness leading to happiness is not new. Writers, philosophers, and religious thinkers have made the connection for centuries. Studies today show the same results, that when you serve others, you are infusing happiness into yourself as well. Research reveals that being generous and considerate makes people happy. It’s as simple as that! And when you are able to do this as a couple, it increases…

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Tips for Taking Care of Unfinished Business

By | Communication | 2 Comments

Every marriage needs a little tune-up now and then. Perhaps things aren’t working as smoothly as they once were, and relational residue is building up. When kinks come up in conversations that aren’t resolved, they don’t just disappear. In today’s busy world conversations are often cut off by interrupting kids, work, schedule conflicts, and much more. When you are having an important conversation or a disagreement and don’t resolve the issue at hand, this undoubtedly will become excess weight you carry around. Unfinished business in a relationship is like a song that starts the first few notes and then suddenly…

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How To Support Your Spouse After a Traumatic Event

By | Communication, Marriage | 7 Comments

Those who have gone through a traumatic event can often develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). The cause of PTSD varies greatly. It appears different in each person and can be the result of varying factors such as a traffic accident, encountering a life threatening or emotional event, experiencing the loss of a loved one, and so on. It may be hard to detect that your spouse is hurting. Physically they may seem okay, but something is troubled under the waters and deep within them. Often, people who suffer from PTSD don’t know how to connect words with their experience….

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How To Become Independently Whole

By | Self Reflection | 2 Comments

Last week, we discussed two lies that can sabotage a relationship. Believing the lies that you need someone else to complete you is a fairy-tale misconception. Until you have established a sense of self-worth and independent wholeness, true love will likely be on hold. What can you do to become whole on your own, and how do you discover your inner self-worth? Every person’s journey is unique. Undoubtedly, this journey will be tested by your determination – but it can be done! Today, we want to share four steps that will take you far along your path to becoming independently…

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Two Lies That Sabotage Relationships

By | Self Reflection | 7 Comments

Being in a relationship and part of a community helps you discover who you are. While relationships are the path to discovering yourself, they don’t promise the development of a complete self. If you haven’t achieved a solid sense of who you are on your own, then you are likely on a path to believe one of two lies that are guaranteed to sabotage any relationship: 1) I need this person to be complete, and 2) If this person needs me, I’ll be complete. There are no shortcuts to personal growth and wholeness. If you try to complete yourself through…

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How to Repair a Relationship Damaged by Overcontrol

By | Conflict, Marriage | 7 Comments

“That is the mystery of grace: it never comes too late.” – Francois Mauriac Nothing suffers more from overcontrol than our relationships. Trying to control other people does nothing besides push them away. At the root of all controlling behavior is the desire to control one’s own anxiety. For the controller, it creates peace and calm and a taste of power over everything that seems beyond real control; namely people and time. For “control freaks” compromise doesn’t feel gratifying – a victory does. The result? Relationships are damaged. So how do you repair a relationship you’ve damaged by overcontrol? Every…

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