4 Reasons Why Biting Your Tongue Can Be Healthy in Marriage

By | Communication | 14 Comments

In every healthy marriage, you’ll find that there are times when you need to bite your tongue. (The same is true for your spouse!) Maybe you and your spouse don’t agree on a topic you both hold close to your hearts. Perhaps you’re working through a difficult time and you’re both feeling stressed. Maybe you’re angry, and you need to cool down before you open your mouth. Or perhaps you hold a strong opinion or expectation that your spouse doesn’t share. Whatever the case, there will come a time when you have to choose between speaking up, or keeping silent…

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How to Become More Approachable Through Humility

By | Scripture, Self Reflection | 4 Comments

Without a doubt, Jesus was the most approachable person who ever walked the Earth. He was tuned into the people on the fringes–those who were most likely to be outcast and excluded. Jesus was shockingly accessible to everyone, including people who were considered “undesirables”. He certainly wasn’t like the other “holy men” of his time. In fact, His accessibility made them livid. That’s because the rabbis and priests of Jesus’s time operated on principles of isolation and exclusion, holding everyone at arm’s length. In contrast, Jesus welcomed everyone with open arms. The Greek word for approachable is parresia, which means…

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Sexual Experience Before Marriage: Talking With Your Fiance

By | Communication, Self Reflection | 8 Comments

It’s common for couples to come into marriage with some “baggage” they have to work through. Everyone’s baggage is different, but a situation many engaged couples face involves previous sexual experience. Whether that’s experience with your fiance or an ex, it can add extra emotional weight to your relationship. It can be upsetting to know that one or both of you has sexual history from a previous relationship. If your fiance was in a relationship involving sexual intimacy, it can create self-doubt, anxiety, sadness, and regret. Your sexual history (or your fiance’s) is something that will haunt your forever–but only…

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3 Pre-Marriage Challenges and How to Handle Them

By | Communication, Self Reflection | 9 Comments

When you’re dating or engaged, the pre-marriage period leading up to the wedding can feel excruciatingly long. On top of that, this time in your life carries its own unique challenges. How can you and your significant other navigate these challenges successfully? Today, we’re sharing three common issues that couples face during dating and engagement. Let’s jump in! 1. Help! Our mentors don’t think we should marry. It’s difficult to learn that someone you look up to, like a trusted friend or your pastor, doesn’t support the marriage you’ve been planning. But when someone you trust raises a red flag…

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10 Cool-Weather Date Ideas to Warm Your Marriage

By | Time | 14 Comments

Last fall, we posted a roundup of 10 fall date ideas for you and your spouse to enjoy together. We got some fantastic feedback from many of you, so this year we’re back with a follow-up post that incorporates some of the ideas you shared with us. (For even more great suggestions, head over to last year’s post and check out the comments section.) Now, let’s dive in! 1. Carve jack-o-lanterns There’s something whimsical about pumpkin-carving that takes us back to childhood Halloween celebrations and trick-or-treating. Pick up a few pumpkins with your spouse and choose your favorite patterns to…

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How to Share More Prayer with Your Spouse

By | Communication, Self Reflection, Time | 7 Comments

Prayer is an essential part of life as a Christian that connects you to directly to God. Incorporating regular prayer in your marriage is a powerful way to not only deepen your relationship with Him, but also with one another. It’s a tool to increase intimacy and grow spiritually. Life is busy. We understand how difficult it can be to take time for daily prayer on your own–and how much more challenging it is to incorporate your equally-busy spouse into that routine. Luckily, there are several ways the two of you can make more time to pray together, and we’re…

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4 Ways to Make More Time for Your Spouse This Fall

By | Time | No Comments

Summertime is over, family vacations are done, and the school year is in full swing again. If you’ve got kids, their plates are full once again with homework and extracurricular activities. You and your spouse are back in your regular routines as well, and it’s gearing up to be a busy season. You always cherish the family time that comes with summer break and vacations. It’s a great time to not only connect on a deeper level with your children, but spend some much-needed time with your spouse. So once you’re all back to your regular rhythm, how do you…

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5 Tips for Loving Others Without Judgment

By | Scripture, Self Reflection | 7 Comments

Loving like Jesus did requires the ability to extend grace–in other words, to love others without judgment. For most of us, this is much easier said than done. It’s easy to use judgmentalism as a way to mask our own insecurities and elevate ourselves above others. Being judgmental makes us conceited and self-righteous. It’s an addictive delusion that artificially boosts our worth. Never mind the Bible’s words: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.” This is one hard habit to break. A judgmental, self-righteous attitude prevents us from giving grace. Luckily, it is possible to shed our judgmental…

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Selfishness in Reverse: How to Lovingly Give More of Yourself

By | Scripture, Self Reflection | 4 Comments

“Selfish people are, by definition, those whose activities are devoted to bringing themselves happiness. Yet, at least as judged by others, these selfish people are far less likely to be happy than those whose efforts are devoted to making others happy.” – Dr. Bernard Rimland, Ph.D. What does it mean to be self-giving? I (Les) like to think of it as selfishness in reverse. It’s a quality we must have if we want to love like Jesus did. Selflessness gives without the expectation of repayment or appreciation. It’s something we extend out of kindness and compassion. It’s easy to get…

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3 Ways to Demonstrate Love Mindfully

By | Scripture, Self Reflection | 2 Comments

Mindfulness, or attentiveness, is a practice that can be applied to our entire lives to help us be more fully engaged with both ourselves and others. When we fail to be mindful of what’s happening inside and around us, we’re prone to a sort of “perceptual blindness.” This means that we could easily be missing the obvious–especially when it comes to the people we encounter. When we’re too wrapped up in our own activities and to-do lists, we’re missing others’ needs. Then, we leave a gap where we could have provided help, attention, affection, guidance, or love. Loving mindfully is…

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