Sep 16
Love0

Why Every Married Couple Should Avoid the Blame Game

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage 3 Comments

Playing the blame game is an unhealthy and damaging way for couples to approach problem solving. Rather than resolving conflicts, blame and finger-pointing actually make them worse. If you’re trying to build or maintain a healthy, intimate marriage, you’ll want to avoid blaming each other for problems in your life. Let’s look at a few reasons why blame is so toxic to our marriages. 1. Blame doesn’t listen. When you blame one another for a problem you’re facing–big or small–you are actively choosing not to listen to your spouse’s side of the story. This hurts your ability to be empathic…

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Sep 09
Love0

3 Reasons to Stop Idealizing Your Spouse

By Communication, Intimacy, Marriage 4 Comments

It’s common for couples to idealize one another early in their relationships. For many people, idealization is the peak of romance. It’s infused in the rush of new love and the excitement of the honeymoon period. But the truth is, idealizing your spouse is harmful to your marriage long-term. That’s because idealization isn’t the same thing as being enamored with, or in love with, your spouse. In fact, idealization is in direct contrast to the Christlike love we should cultivate for one another. It may sound odd, but putting your spouse on a pedestal can damage your marriage. Let’s take…

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Sep 02
Love1

8 Ways to Deepen Your Intimacy During Difficult Times

By Intimacy, Marriage 2 Comments

Difficult times can refine or break your relationship. That’s why it’s so important to stay connected. Through intentional action, it’s possible to deepen your intimacy during hard seasons. Let’s look at eight ways you and your spouse can deepen your intimacy, despite being in the midst of a difficult time. 1. Listen to one another. Communication is important at all times in a relationship. But during difficult times, it becomes more important than ever. As a couple, take time to talk with, and listen to, each other. Your conversations don’t always have to be centered around the hard things that…

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Aug 26
Love0

How Your Response to Life Change Affects Your Marriage

By Communication, Marriage, Relationships One Comment

Once you’re married, it doesn’t take much time at all to get a feel for how your and your spouse each respond to life change. How you respond to change can affect your marriage, for better or worse. And it can tell you and your spouse a lot about one another. Some couples experience drastic life changes early on in their marriages, while others might be married a little longer before they do. But every couple will face stressors, upheaval, and unexpected change at some point in their marriage–and maybe more than once. So how do your individual responses to…

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Aug 19
Love0

6 Issues That Can Sabotage Any Marriage (and How to Fix Them)

By Conflict, Marriage 4 Comments

Looking to prevent problems in your marriage before they begin? There are six major–but subtle–marriage saboteurs you should be on the lookout for. Let’s take a look at what they are, and how to fix them. 1. Having too many obligations. Life is busy–we get it. But staying too busy can actually sabotage your marriage. When you and your spouse are so consumed with day-to-day obligation, it can be easy for those obligations to crowd your intimacy out. How to fix it: You can’t put a marriage on autopilot. It takes daily commitment to keep that spark alive. Be intentional…

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Aug 12
Love0

Deeper Empathy in Marriage: What’s the Secret?

By Communication, Marriage 3 Comments

In marriage, it’s crucial to be able to empathize with one another. We like to think about it as trading places–taking a walk in one another’s shoes. Empathy is the key to a happy, successful marriage…but what is the key to empathy? We like to think of self-awareness as the number one secret to achieving empathy in marriage. Being aware of your own emotions, and able to look at them objectively, allows you to step outside yourself and pay closer attention to what your spouse is feeling or going through. When you lack self-awareness of your emotional state, you get…

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Aug 05
Love0

The Ultimate Conflict Resolution Roundup

By Conflict, Marriage, Relationships No Comments

Looking for resources to help you and your spouse with conflict resolution? You’ve come to the right place. We’ve created a roundup of our top posts to help you and your partner navigate conflict. Let’s dive in. Problem Solving Working through problems together is one of the most important things a couple will learn to do over the course of marriage. Here are some tips for solving problems constructively. 4 Tips For Constructively Resolving Conflict With Your Spouse Locked in a disagreement? Not sure what to do next? Here are 4 tips for helping you and your spouse resolve conflict….

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Jul 29
Love0

Does Brutal Honesty Have a Place in Marriage?

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage 6 Comments

Do you pride yourself on being “brutally honest”? Many of us do, but should it really be a point of pride in marriage? While the old adage “the truth hurts” can be true, we should do our best to avoid being honest in a hurtful way. But oftentimes, we find ourselves in situations where we may try to justify harshness as a way to sway our spouses one way or the other. The Bible is full of wisdom on how we should treat one another. While we should absolutely be honest with our spouses, scripture also teaches us to be…

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Jul 22
Love0

Help! My Spouse Gets Controlling When We Disagree

By Conflict 4 Comments

Does this scenario sound familiar? Most of the time, you and your spouse tend to have a peaceful relationship…until you get into a disagreement. And during those times, you feel like you barely recognize them. So what is going on? It’s possible that your spouse actually has a control problem–maybe even one they keep well-hidden until their buttons get pushed. But how is that possible? Control freaks aren’t always controllers in every scenario. Sometimes, the controlling qualities come out in certain circumstances. Having a fight can bring out the worst in anyone, but it tends to ignite the control freak…

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Jul 15
Love0

3 Ways to Calm an Argument with Your Spouse

By Communication, Conflict 4 Comments

There aren’t many things that are worse than getting in an argument with your spouse that just keeps escalating. No matter what either of you try to do, you seem to be at a stalemate. Or worse, things are starting to get a little ugly. Luckily, there are several ways you can defuse heated conflict with your spouse. Doing so will give you both the opportunity to step back, regroup, and come back to the discussion with a fresh perspective. Let’s dive in. 1. Slow your response time. Many of us struggle with the impulse to jump right in and…

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