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Communication

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Better Communication, Better Love: Forgiveness and Conflict Resolution

By Communication, Conflict One Comment

Forgiveness and conflict resolution are crucial components of good communication. That’s true not only in marriage, but across all your relationships. To build a happy marriage with true, lifelong love, you’ll need to be able to not only solve conflicts that arise; you’ll also need to be willing to forgive one another. In this final part of our four-part series on better communication, we’re focusing on how to lovingly resolve conflict and forgive often. Ready to learn more? Let’s jump into it. Listen With Empathy When working through a conflict, it’s important to listen to one another with empathy. Understanding…

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Better Communication, Better Love: Saying “I Love You” Without Words

By Communication, Intimacy One Comment

When it comes to communication in marriage, nonverbal communication is just as important as the words you say to one another. In some cases, nonverbal communication might even say more! The old adage is, “Actions speak louder than words,” for a reason. The words we say make up only a small percentage of what our spouse believes we’re saying to them. Developing great nonverbal communication skills is critical for showing love to your spouse in a way they can understand. Bare-minimum human decency won’t cut it here; you must be intentional with your nonverbals. So what are some ways you…

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Better Communication, Better Love: Speaking the Truth in Love

By Communication No Comments

When emotions are running high, it can be challenging to communicate with your spouse in a calm way. Sometimes, it can even feel difficult to speak lovingly. We’re at a higher risk of being harsh with one another when we’re angry, upset, or trying to make a point. Last week, we kicked off our Better Communication, Better Love article series by talking about becoming a better listener. But listening well is just one part of the equation. We must also be able to speak the truth in love at all times, especially when we’re resolving a conflict. You and your…

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Better Communication, Better Love: Sharpening Your Listening Skills

By Communication No Comments

Did you know that better communication can lead you and your spouse to better love? In this four-article series, we’re breaking down some of the most important ways you two can improve your communication skills. We’ll start by talking about how to sharpen your listening skills – a must in every successful marriage. You’ve likely heard that, to be a better listener, you should: Listen to respond, not to react. Avoid interrupting your spouse while they’re speaking. Try not to spend so much energy formulating a response that you miss what they’re saying. Engage in active listening, in which you…

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Responsive vs. Reactive: What’s the Difference, and Why Does It Matter in Marriage?

By Communication, Conflict 2 Comments

How you and your spouse interact with one another largely determines the health of your marriage. Whether you’re resolving conflict or simply engaging in regular communication, it’s so important for the two of you to pay close attention to how you affect each other. Knowing your effect on your spouse starts with being self-aware. In communication, your self-awareness can help you understand whether you’re often more responsive or reactive when you communicate. Responding well to your spouse, rather than reacting to them, can make all the difference in your daily interactions, and especially during conflict resolution. In this article, we’re…

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I Feel Dismissed in My Marriage

I Feel Dismissed in My Marriage. How Do I Speak Up?

By Communication One Comment

Do you feel dismissed in your marriage? Sometimes, married couples become so busy that one or both spouses may start to feel dismissed, unheard, or invisible. This can happen for many reasons. Most often, we become so busy with our lives and routines that we simply forget to slow down. Doing life at a breakneck pace can cause you to unintentionally lose sight of one another. If you don’t stay intentionally connected, then disconnection sneaks up on you over time. Eventually, one or both of you may begin to feel a sense of desperation to feel seen and known once…

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Listening 101: Tips to Help You Better Hear Your Spouse

By Communication 2 Comments

A common theme in marital conflict is the idea that one or both spouses don’t feel heard. Has your spouse ever told you that you’re not hearing them? If so, there are some things you can do to help them know that you’re listening–or that you’re working to understand where they’re coming from. It’s frustrating to hear that your spouse feels unheard or misunderstood, especially if you’re doing your best from one day to the next. However, it’s possible for effective communication to break down before either of you realize what has happened. The good news is, it’s possible to…

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My spouse doesn't hear me

Help! My Spouse Doesn’t Hear Me. What Can I Do?

By Communication No Comments

Do you feel unheard, unseen or misunderstood by your spouse? If this sounds familiar to you, keep reading. It’s common for people to feel as though their spouses don’t fully understand where they’re coming from–or even hear what they’re trying to say at all. The good news is, you’re not alone. Even better, it’s possible to solve this problem. In today’s blog, we’re going to talk about some ways to help you reconnect with your spouse and rekindle the intimacy you’re missing. Step 1. Tell Your Spouse How You’re Feeling If you haven’t already tried to broach the subject with…

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5 Important Ingredients for Stronger Communication in Marriage

By Communication 2 Comments

Communication is key to a successful marriage. This likely isn’t a surprise, but it bears repeating. You and your spouse may share a life together, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re communicating effectively. Issues with communication often translate into other problems, such as a loss of intimacy. Many couples have stronger communication in the early days of their relationships, through dating and the honeymoon period. But ongoing, strong communication requires a consistent effort from both spouses, through all seasons of life. Being able to talk to and understand one another is one of the primary components of intimacy. If…

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Does Keeping Secrets Make A Marriage Unhealthy?

By Communication, Conflict 8 Comments

Does keeping secrets in marriage make it inherently unhealthy? Over our years of marriage, and our years counseling married and engaged couples, we’ve found the answer to be both nuanced and subjective. The truth is, the idea that a couple should never keep secrets sounds and feels good at the surface level–but can a marriage really handle an overflow of transparency at all times? Many of us grew up believing that there are no secrets in a healthy marriage. We come to believe that spouses should tell one another everything, no matter what–hiding no details and laying everything out in…

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