Category

Communication

How Expectations and Magical Thinking Affect Your Spouse

By Communication, Marriage, Relationships 2 Comments

In every marriage, each spouse has their own set of expectations, either spoken or unspoken. These could be regarding the relationship itself, or expectations for one another as individuals. Either way, what we expect of one another can inform much of our relationship, for better or worse. If you and your spouse have experienced conflict over your expectations for one another, you aren’t alone. Expectations go hand-in-hand with something we call magical thinking. In other words, that means making assumptions about one another, rather than seeking the truth from our spouse. Expectations and magical thinking can impact your spouse in…

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How to Build Momentum In Your Marriage

By Communication, Marriage No Comments

Do you and your spouse have marriage momentum? If you’ve built momentum in your marriage, then you’re in an ongoing state of moving forward together. Even when you face obstacles together, you’re able to take them in stride as you work together to keep going. Momentum propels you toward a fulfilling marriage. Momentum comes from consistent forward motion in your relationship. Your marriage momentum can be challenged and impeded by friction (such as communication breakdowns, illness, financial difficulties, and parenting struggles). While all couples face friction from time to time, it’s possible to overcome those challenges and continue building momentum…

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4 Ways to Work Together as a Married Team to Achieve Your Goals

By Communication, Marriage, Relationships No Comments

The happiest couples work together to achieve their goals. If you take a close look at the high-achieving couples you most admire, you’ll likely notice that they partner with one another not only in the details of their daily lives, but also in the big adventures they embark upon. Teamwork is the most important foundation couples should build upon, especially when each spouse has big dreams they’d like to achieve. Pursuing goals alongside a marriage, family, and careers can be quite a juggling act. But in the end, supporting one another through the process is worth it. If you’re wondering…

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Should I Confront My Passive-Aggressive Spouse?

By Communication, Conflict No Comments

Imagine that you come home from work, and the garbage can is full. Your spouse is milling around the kitchen, slamming drawers and pot lids. As you attempt to wind down from the work day, you can’t help but notice that they’re really making a lot of noise. So, you head into the kitchen to find out what’s going on. “Honey, are you all right?” “I’m fine,” they say…but the dishes keep rattling. You’re distinctly aware that something isn’t right, but you can’t put your finger on what, exactly, it is. And if they won’t tell you what’s happening, how…

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My Spouse’s Criticism Broke My Heart. How Do I Heal?

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage 6 Comments

Criticism is toxic to happy marriages, poisoning happiness and sabotaging your growth as a couple. A critical nature kills intimacy and causes the victim to build walls around themselves in an attempt to ward off future criticism. Worse, criticism can cripple your personal growth and your emotional health. When your spouse criticizes you, it hurts. Being picked apart and scrutinized by anyone is hurtful, but when it’s your husband or wife, it’s worse. Not only is criticism demoralizing, it lacks the appreciation and regard we want to feel from our spouse. If you have a servant heart, spousal criticism will…

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5 Everyday Marriage Problems and How to Tackle Them

By Communication, Conflict 2 Comments

Every married couple must overcome problems over the course of their relationship. Obstacles are part of life. Everyone faces them, but couples have the privilege of facing them together. Today, we’re breaking down five everyday marriage problems most couples will encounter at sometime in their relationship. Let’s take a look! 1. Not making time for each other. Time is a valuable commodity. You must make time for one another if you want a happy marriage. However, it’s easy to get bogged down by careers, kids, and all-around busy schedules. The direct result of being too busy is losing valuable time…

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Why Every Married Couple Should Avoid the Blame Game

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage 3 Comments

Playing the blame game is an unhealthy and damaging way for couples to approach problem solving. Rather than resolving conflicts, blame and finger-pointing actually make them worse. If you’re trying to build or maintain a healthy, intimate marriage, you’ll want to avoid blaming each other for problems in your life. Let’s look at a few reasons why blame is so toxic to our marriages. 1. Blame doesn’t listen. When you blame one another for a problem you’re facing–big or small–you are actively choosing not to listen to your spouse’s side of the story. This hurts your ability to be empathic…

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3 Reasons to Stop Idealizing Your Spouse

By Communication, Intimacy, Marriage 4 Comments

It’s common for couples to idealize one another early in their relationships. For many people, idealization is the peak of romance. It’s infused in the rush of new love and the excitement of the honeymoon period. But the truth is, idealizing your spouse is harmful to your marriage long-term. That’s because idealization isn’t the same thing as being enamored with, or in love with, your spouse. In fact, idealization is in direct contrast to the Christlike love we should cultivate for one another. It may sound odd, but putting your spouse on a pedestal can damage your marriage. Let’s take…

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How Your Response to Life Change Affects Your Marriage

By Communication, Marriage, Relationships One Comment

Once you’re married, it doesn’t take much time at all to get a feel for how your and your spouse each respond to life change. How you respond to change can affect your marriage, for better or worse. And it can tell you and your spouse a lot about one another. Some couples experience drastic life changes early on in their marriages, while others might be married a little longer before they do. But every couple will face stressors, upheaval, and unexpected change at some point in their marriage–and maybe more than once. So how do your individual responses to…

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Deeper Empathy in Marriage: What’s the Secret?

By Communication, Marriage 3 Comments

In marriage, it’s crucial to be able to empathize with one another. We like to think about it as trading places–taking a walk in one another’s shoes. Empathy is the key to a happy, successful marriage…but what is the key to empathy? We like to think of self-awareness as the number one secret to achieving empathy in marriage. Being aware of your own emotions, and able to look at them objectively, allows you to step outside yourself and pay closer attention to what your spouse is feeling or going through. When you lack self-awareness of your emotional state, you get…

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