Category

Communication

10 Tips for Weathering an Uncertain Season Together

By Communication, Marriage, Relationships 3 Comments

We all face uncertain seasons from time to time. If you’re married, you have the added bonus of having a partner you can weather these storms with. Unfortunately, sometimes uncertainty and stress can divide us rather than bringing us together. If you’re facing a difficult time right now, it’s important to find ways to come together rather than being torn apart. You can do this by exercising a combination of vulnerability, selflessness, patience, and empathy. Let’s look at 10 tips to help you and your spouse weather an uncertain season together. 1. Be open about your struggles. Uncertainty produces a…

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Help! We’re Stuck at Home Together–What Now?

By Communication, Marriage One Comment

So you and your spouse have found yourselves spending an extended period of time in your home together. Maybe one of you is sick, recovering from surgery, or out of work. Perhaps you’re snowed in for a few days. Or, if you’re like many of us around the world right now, you’re self-quarantining in the face of a global pandemic. Whatever the reason, the two of you are suddenly spending a lot more time together at home. It’s important to look at this time as an opportunity to rekindle your bond, deepen your relationship, and make happy memories together. Whether…

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Five Practical and Proactive Things You Can Do At Home

By Communication, Marriage, Parenting, Relationships, Self Reflection One Comment

Dear Friends, We want to help you in some small way. Our family of four (including our college-student son who is now home from Chicago) has gone into full social-distancing mode here in Seattle to help “flatten the curve” of COVID-19. Chances are that your family is doing the same. The good news? We’re seeing a lot more of each other than we normally do. The challenge? Well, we’re seeing a lot more of each other than we normally do! So, how do you create a safe, healthy, and happy home in these difficult days? We’ll leave the medical advice…

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Money and Marriage: How to Handle Finances Together

By Communication, Marriage 2 Comments

Money is a hot-button topic in marriage and one of the most common things married couples fight about. It takes money to live–and even more if you have children and many expenses every month. It can be very easy to get out-of-step with one another in the finance arena, especially where debt is concerned. The good news is, there’s plenty you can do to productively navigate conversations around finances and debt in your marriage. Let’s look at a few ways you and your spouse can handle money issues together, without staying in constant conflict over it. Be transparent with one…

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Passive vs. Aggressive Problem Solvers: Which One Are You?

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage, Relationships, Self Reflection One Comment

Do you tackle problems head-on with a burning desire to resolve them as quickly as possible? Or would you rather take your time processing a conflict before you speak up about it? As a step toward constructive problem-solving, it’s important to identify whether you solve problems in a passive or aggressive manner. The type of problem solver you are can easily damage the sense of emotional safety in your marriage, so it’s important for you both to get familiar with your problem-solving style–and then compare notes. The Passive Problem Solver People who prefer to deal with issues passively are content…

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How to Set New Year’s Resolutions for Your Marriage

By Communication, Marriage, Relationships No Comments

Once again, it’s time to ring in a new year and reflect on the year that’s past. This is a wonderful time to reflect with your spouse and set New Year’s resolutions for the coming year. Let’s look at a few ways you and your spouse can greet the new year, set goals together, and set yourselves up for success in the coming months. Conduct a Year-in-Review At the end of the year (or the beginning of the new year), take a little time to sit together and talk about the things you’ve experienced together over the past 12 months….

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10 Ways to Let Go of Control in Your Marriage

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage, Relationships One Comment

Being a control freak in your marriage–or in your life, in general–means you don’t exactly make life easy for your spouse. That probably seems counterintuitive, doesn’t it? We control because we want to make life feel easier, more predictable, or more secure. But it actually makes the people around us miserable–and it makes us miserable, too. In last week’s post, we discussed the root of most controlling behavior–anxiety–and shared 6 signs that you might be a control freak. This week, we’re going to talk about 10 things you can do about it. 1. Learn how to delegate. Delegating is tough…

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3 Reasons Why You Should Walk in Your Spouse’s Shoes

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage, Relationships 6 Comments

In marriage, it’s not always obvious what our spouse needs. It’s not always obvious to them what we need, either. One way to get in better touch with each other’s needs is to cultivate empathy. To create more empathy in our marriages, we need to first walk in each other’s shoes. A simple way to do that is what we call trading places. Simply put, trading places means you picture things from your spouse’s perspective. It helps you get in tune with one another, or reconnect if you’ve drifted apart. Everyone needs to check in with their empathy from time…

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What to Do When You and Your Spouse Have Experienced Shared Trauma

By Communication, Marriage, Relationships, Self Reflection 4 Comments

We often hear stories from couples where one spouse is struggling to recover after a prolonged trauma or a traumatic event, and their partner needs advice on how to help them through it. Sometimes, though, both husband and wife are dealing with trauma, and they don’t know how best to support each other. Perhaps you shared a traumatic experience like a health emergency, a car accident, or the loss of a loved one. It may have been an event that happened relatively quickly, or it could have been a sustained crisis that went on for an extended period of time….

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6 Tips for Connecting When Silence Sets In

By Communication, Marriage, Relationships, Self Reflection No Comments

It’s no exaggeration that non-talkers feel it’s painful to speak when there’s an issue at hand. They silently cry out: “Don’t touch me! Leave me alone.” It’s likely these quiet partners have had their hearts kicked across the floor in the past, and when it comes time to work out issues in their current relationship, it’s easier to clam up and vow to never open up again. They become the silent partner. Yet, deep inside silent partners know that their time for healing will come. If you are a silent partner, or are in a relationship with one, there are…

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