Category

Communication

Money and Marriage: How to Handle Finances Together

By Communication, Marriage 2 Comments

Money is a hot-button topic in marriage and one of the most common things married couples fight about. It takes money to live–and even more if you have children and many expenses every month. It can be very easy to get out-of-step with one another in the finance arena, especially where debt is concerned. The good news is, there’s plenty you can do to productively navigate conversations around finances and debt in your marriage. Let’s look at a few ways you and your spouse can handle money issues together, without staying in constant conflict over it. Be transparent with one…

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Passive vs. Aggressive Problem Solvers: Which One Are You?

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage, Relationships, Self Reflection One Comment

Do you tackle problems head-on with a burning desire to resolve them as quickly as possible? Or would you rather take your time processing a conflict before you speak up about it? As a step toward constructive problem-solving, it’s important to identify whether you solve problems in a passive or aggressive manner. The type of problem solver you are can easily damage the sense of emotional safety in your marriage, so it’s important for you both to get familiar with your problem-solving style–and then compare notes. The Passive Problem Solver People who prefer to deal with issues passively are content…

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How to Set New Year’s Resolutions for Your Marriage

By Communication, Marriage, Relationships No Comments

Once again, it’s time to ring in a new year and reflect on the year that’s past. This is a wonderful time to reflect with your spouse and set New Year’s resolutions for the coming year. Let’s look at a few ways you and your spouse can greet the new year, set goals together, and set yourselves up for success in the coming months. Conduct a Year-in-Review At the end of the year (or the beginning of the new year), take a little time to sit together and talk about the things you’ve experienced together over the past 12 months….

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10 Ways to Let Go of Control in Your Marriage

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage, Relationships One Comment

Being a control freak in your marriage–or in your life, in general–means you don’t exactly make life easy for your spouse. That probably seems counterintuitive, doesn’t it? We control because we want to make life feel easier, more predictable, or more secure. But it actually makes the people around us miserable–and it makes us miserable, too. In last week’s post, we discussed the root of most controlling behavior–anxiety–and shared 6 signs that you might be a control freak. This week, we’re going to talk about 10 things you can do about it. 1. Learn how to delegate. Delegating is tough…

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3 Reasons Why You Should Walk in Your Spouse’s Shoes

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage, Relationships 6 Comments

In marriage, it’s not always obvious what our spouse needs. It’s not always obvious to them what we need, either. One way to get in better touch with each other’s needs is to cultivate empathy. To create more empathy in our marriages, we need to first walk in each other’s shoes. A simple way to do that is what we call trading places. Simply put, trading places means you picture things from your spouse’s perspective. It helps you get in tune with one another, or reconnect if you’ve drifted apart. Everyone needs to check in with their empathy from time…

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What to Do When You and Your Spouse Have Experienced Shared Trauma

By Communication, Marriage, Relationships, Self Reflection 4 Comments

We often hear stories from couples where one spouse is struggling to recover after a prolonged trauma or a traumatic event, and their partner needs advice on how to help them through it. Sometimes, though, both husband and wife are dealing with trauma, and they don’t know how best to support each other. Perhaps you shared a traumatic experience like a health emergency, a car accident, or the loss of a loved one. It may have been an event that happened relatively quickly, or it could have been a sustained crisis that went on for an extended period of time….

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6 Tips for Connecting When Silence Sets In

By Communication, Marriage, Relationships, Self Reflection No Comments

It’s no exaggeration that non-talkers feel it’s painful to speak when there’s an issue at hand. They silently cry out: “Don’t touch me! Leave me alone.” It’s likely these quiet partners have had their hearts kicked across the floor in the past, and when it comes time to work out issues in their current relationship, it’s easier to clam up and vow to never open up again. They become the silent partner. Yet, deep inside silent partners know that their time for healing will come. If you are a silent partner, or are in a relationship with one, there are…

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3 Core Truths for Successful Communication

By Communication 9 Comments

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs. – Ephesians 4:29 The happiest of couples don’t rely solely on communication rules, their secret lies in understanding that good communication is built first on who you are – and only later on what you do. Simply put, successful communication starts with good personal qualities. You can read articles and books, attend workshops, and see counselors who will teach you about communication skills. But if you fail to focus on the qualities you possess as a…

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Five Ways to Encourage Your Spouse to Be Empathetic

By Communication, Marriage, Relationships 5 Comments

It’s no secret that empathy takes work. It’s all too common in relationships for spouses to feel a lack of empathy from each other. If you feel like your spouse isn’t seeing an important part of you, then it’s time to walk in each other’s shoes. Learning how to see all sides of your spouse will mean a great deal to your relationship! How can you encourage your spouse to be more empathetic? Today, we are sharing tips that have proven helpful for couples who are trying to encourage their spouse to become more empathetic. 1. Share Your Highs and…

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Four Tips to Alleviate Chore Wars

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage, Relationships No Comments

Chores tend to be a frequent and hot source of arguments in relationships. Why? Because chores are there – day in and day out. For many of us, chores aren’t on the top of our to-do list, which makes arguing about household duties an easy thing to do. Couples enter marriage with unconscious expectations, the key is to communicate these expectations and determine together who does what. As your lives grow and get more complicated (children, career shifts, etc.) the household responsibilities become more complicated as well. Chores will never disappear, but your disagreements about them can. Here are four…

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