Category

Communication

Deeper Empathy in Marriage: What’s the Secret?

By Communication, Marriage 3 Comments

In marriage, it’s crucial to be able to empathize with one another. We like to think about it as trading places–taking a walk in one another’s shoes. Empathy is the key to a happy, successful marriage…but what is the key to empathy? We like to think of self-awareness as the number one secret to achieving empathy in marriage. Being aware of your own emotions, and able to look at them objectively, allows you to step outside yourself and pay closer attention to what your spouse is feeling or going through. When you lack self-awareness of your emotional state, you get…

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Does Brutal Honesty Have a Place in Marriage?

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage 6 Comments

Do you pride yourself on being “brutally honest”? Many of us do, but should it really be a point of pride in marriage? While the old adage “the truth hurts” can be true, we should do our best to avoid being honest in a hurtful way. But oftentimes, we find ourselves in situations where we may try to justify harshness as a way to sway our spouses one way or the other. The Bible is full of wisdom on how we should treat one another. While we should absolutely be honest with our spouses, scripture also teaches us to be…

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3 Ways to Calm an Argument with Your Spouse

By Communication, Conflict 4 Comments

There aren’t many things that are worse than getting in an argument with your spouse that just keeps escalating. No matter what either of you try to do, you seem to be at a stalemate. Or worse, things are starting to get a little ugly. Luckily, there are several ways you can defuse heated conflict with your spouse. Doing so will give you both the opportunity to step back, regroup, and come back to the discussion with a fresh perspective. Let’s dive in. 1. Slow your response time. Many of us struggle with the impulse to jump right in and…

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How Facts vs. Feelings Influence Your Spouse

By Communication, Marriage, Relationships One Comment

In marriage, spouses influence one another significantly–both consciously and unconsciously. Knowing whether your spouse is more influenced by facts or by feelings can add a great deal of productivity to your conversations. We’re all influenced primarily by either facts or feelings. When spouses’ primary points of influence clash, this can lead to difficulties in communication. But when we know the driving force behind one another’s primary influences, we can better anticipate how to communicate successfully. So how do you determine whether your spouse is influenced by feelings or facts? How to Know if Your Spouse is Influenced by Facts People…

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10 Tips for Weathering an Uncertain Season Together

By Communication, Marriage, Relationships 3 Comments

We all face uncertain seasons from time to time. If you’re married, you have the added bonus of having a partner you can weather these storms with. Unfortunately, sometimes uncertainty and stress can divide us rather than bringing us together. If you’re facing a difficult time right now, it’s important to find ways to come together rather than being torn apart. You can do this by exercising a combination of vulnerability, selflessness, patience, and empathy. Let’s look at 10 tips to help you and your spouse weather an uncertain season together. 1. Be open about your struggles. Uncertainty produces a…

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Help! We’re Stuck at Home Together–What Now?

By Communication, Marriage One Comment

So you and your spouse have found yourselves spending an extended period of time in your home together. Maybe one of you is sick, recovering from surgery, or out of work. Perhaps you’re snowed in for a few days. Or, if you’re like many of us around the world right now, you’re self-quarantining in the face of a global pandemic. Whatever the reason, the two of you are suddenly spending a lot more time together at home. It’s important to look at this time as an opportunity to rekindle your bond, deepen your relationship, and make happy memories together. Whether…

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Five Practical and Proactive Things You Can Do At Home

By Communication, Marriage, Parenting, Relationships, Self Reflection One Comment

Dear Friends, We want to help you in some small way. Our family of four (including our college-student son who is now home from Chicago) has gone into full social-distancing mode here in Seattle to help “flatten the curve” of COVID-19. Chances are that your family is doing the same. The good news? We’re seeing a lot more of each other than we normally do. The challenge? Well, we’re seeing a lot more of each other than we normally do! So, how do you create a safe, healthy, and happy home in these difficult days? We’ll leave the medical advice…

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Money and Marriage: How to Handle Finances Together

By Communication, Marriage 2 Comments

Money is a hot-button topic in marriage and one of the most common things married couples fight about. It takes money to live–and even more if you have children and many expenses every month. It can be very easy to get out-of-step with one another in the finance arena, especially where debt is concerned. The good news is, there’s plenty you can do to productively navigate conversations around finances and debt in your marriage. Let’s look at a few ways you and your spouse can handle money issues together, without staying in constant conflict over it. Be transparent with one…

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Passive vs. Aggressive Problem Solvers: Which One Are You?

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage, Relationships, Self Reflection One Comment

Do you tackle problems head-on with a burning desire to resolve them as quickly as possible? Or would you rather take your time processing a conflict before you speak up about it? As a step toward constructive problem-solving, it’s important to identify whether you solve problems in a passive or aggressive manner. The type of problem solver you are can easily damage the sense of emotional safety in your marriage, so it’s important for you both to get familiar with your problem-solving style–and then compare notes. The Passive Problem Solver People who prefer to deal with issues passively are content…

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How to Set New Year’s Resolutions for Your Marriage

By Communication, Marriage, Relationships No Comments

Once again, it’s time to ring in a new year and reflect on the year that’s past. This is a wonderful time to reflect with your spouse and set New Year’s resolutions for the coming year. Let’s look at a few ways you and your spouse can greet the new year, set goals together, and set yourselves up for success in the coming months. Conduct a Year-in-Review At the end of the year (or the beginning of the new year), take a little time to sit together and talk about the things you’ve experienced together over the past 12 months….

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