Category

Communication

How to Listen With The Third Ear

By | Communication | 12 Comments

The first duty of love in any relationship is to listen. When we are heard we feel known, loved and understood. Listening is an essential ingredient in good communication. But in order to be a good listener, you need to learn how to listen with the third ear. By doing this, you don’t just listen to the actual words that are spoken, you learn to feel the emotions that flow within the conversation as well. So how can you learn to listen with the third ear? Tune in to the message beneath the words If you can hear, you can…

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Spender or Saver? How to Compromise With Your Spouse This Holiday Season

By | Communication, Conflict | 3 Comments

Holiday season is upon us and gift giving is in full swing. But what happens when you and your spouse disagree on how much is too much? Perhaps you’d like to give your kids or a loved one a gift that your spouse finds is over the top. Or vise-versa, your spouse prefers to spend but you prefer you stick to a strict budget. Everyone expresses love in their own unique way, and for some people gift giving is the best way they know how to give and receive love. In fact, did you know that most relationships have a…

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Planning Your Wedding Part 3: Constructively Resolving Conflict

By | Communication, Conflict, In-laws & Family | One Comment

It’s common for family members to clash with the engaged couple (or one another) during a busy season of wedding planning. Weddings seem to provide endless opportunities for families to squabble about traditions, decor, music, and other minutiae down to the smallest details. Unfortunately, family members do this to the detriment of peace, and the bride and groom’s happiness. Last week in part 2, we talked about the importance of boundaries–and how having strong boundaries can make your wedding planning process more enjoyable. But even with the healthiest of boundaries in place, conflict can still arise. It’s incredibly uncomfortable and…

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Planning Your Wedding Part 2: Establishing Healthy Boundaries with Family

By | Communication, In-laws & Family | One Comment

Boundaries are critically important in marriage. They protect you as a couple from negative outside influences, helping you to strengthen and maintain a healthy relationship from within. If you don’t have boundaries yet, you need to have a discussion with your fiance about what those boundaries need to entail. The wedding planning season isn’t the easiest time to enact boundaries, but if you don’t already have them as a couple, it’s a good time to establish them. That’s because planning your wedding is one of your first big opportunities to exercise boundaries. While the two of you attempt to plan…

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Planning Your Wedding Part 1: Working Together to Plan Your Big Day

By | Communication, In-laws & Family, Time | No Comments

Wedding planning is one of the busiest seasons in your life. (We remember; it was a busy time for us, too!) While it tends to be stressful and time-consuming, there are ways to enjoy yourselves and alleviate some of the pressure that can come along with planning for one of the most important days of your life. Planning your wedding together can make this season fun and memorable. Even better, it gives you a chance to infuse the essence of who you are as a couple into every part of your celebration. Here are a few ways you can plan…

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4 Ways to Be a Better Truth-Teller: Part 2

By | Communication | No Comments

“When in doubt, tell the truth.” – Mark Twain In part one of this series based on my new book, Love Like That, we talked about how truly loving like Jesus requires us to stop fearing vulnerability and start being willing to risk rejection. To that end, we must… 3. Care less about what others think You won’t successfully achieve vulnerability, authenticity, and truth if you’re too concerned about what people think of you. Jesus held such powerful convictions that when he spoke out against injustice or hypocrisy, he couldn’t care less what others thought of him. He didn’t dwell…

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Waiting Out a Painful Season With Your Spouse

By | Communication, Time | 13 Comments

Remember the long wait between the day you got engaged and the day you got married? Mistakenly, many of us think that once we’re married, the waiting is over and our life can really begin. But then life throws a wrench in the works and we find ourselves stuck in a holding pattern we can’t seem to shake. So how do we handle waiting for something we really want–possibly for a long time? Long waiting periods can put a significant strain on your marriage relationship. When couples are focused on what they don’t have, it can create stress and sadness….

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What to Do If Your Spouse’s Friend Betrays Them

By | Communication, Conflict | One Comment

When we get married, we don’t often think much about how each of our respective circle of friends will continue to change and evolve over time. That’s because we’re focused on our spouse–and rightly so. But the truth is, friendships will come and go like they always have. Betrayal is an incredibly painful experience, and it’s something all of us experience at different times, in different relationships, throughout our lives. So if your spouse has been betrayed by a friend, how do you support them through it? Trust your spouse’s judgment Sometimes, a betrayal can blindside us. But other times,…

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4 Reasons Why Biting Your Tongue Can Be Healthy in Marriage

By | Communication | 16 Comments

In every healthy marriage, you’ll find that there are times when you need to bite your tongue. (The same is true for your spouse!) Maybe you and your spouse don’t agree on a topic you both hold close to your hearts. Perhaps you’re working through a difficult time and you’re both feeling stressed. Maybe you’re angry, and you need to cool down before you open your mouth. Or perhaps you hold a strong opinion or expectation that your spouse doesn’t share. Whatever the case, there will come a time when you have to choose between speaking up, or keeping silent…

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Sexual Experience Before Marriage: Talking With Your Fiance

By | Communication, Self Reflection | 9 Comments

It’s common for couples to come into marriage with some “baggage” they have to work through. Everyone’s baggage is different, but a situation many engaged couples face involves previous sexual experience. Whether that’s experience with your fiance or an ex, it can add extra emotional weight to your relationship. It can be upsetting to know that one or both of you has sexual history from a previous relationship. If your fiance was in a relationship involving sexual intimacy, it can create self-doubt, anxiety, sadness, and regret. Your sexual history (or your fiance’s) is something that will haunt your forever–but only…

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