Better Communication, Better Love: Saying “I Love You” Without Words

Symbis-Blog-900x200-meme-Saying-I-Love-You-Without-Words (1)

When it comes to communication in marriage, nonverbal communication is just as important as the words you say to one another. In some cases, nonverbal communication might even say more! The old adage is, “Actions speak louder than words,” for a reason.

The words we say make up only a small percentage of what our spouse believes we’re saying to them. Developing great nonverbal communication skills is critical for showing love to your spouse in a way they can understand. Bare-minimum human decency won’t cut it here; you must be intentional with your nonverbals.

So what are some ways you can tell your spouse you love them without using words? Let’s talk about it.

Mind Your Body Language

Body language is one of the most telling nonverbal cues. If your body language doesn’t actively communicate love for your spouse, it’s time to make some adjustments. Your spouse is watching and taking note of your actions, especially those “little things” we often miss or take for granted.

  • Make eye contact as often as possible when you’re speaking
  • Stay “open” to your spouse by facing them, uncrossing your arms, etc.
  • Lean forward to show interest
  • Nod or gesture when actively listening and speaking (as appropriate)

Essentially, it’s important to make sure your body language tells your spouse that you’re tuned in to them. Start noticing how you sit, stand, and posture during conversation and consider whether you need to create new nonverbal habits. Chances are, your spouse will notice and appreciate the effort.

Set Distractions Aside

It’s a little too easy to fixate on your cell phone, computer (or other devices), book, newspaper, television, or a myriad of other distractions while your spouse is trying to communicate with you. Why not set these items aside while you’re talking? Rather than looking at your watch or checking social media – which can come across as dismissive – practice putting those distractions down more often.

Life is hectic these days, and the rapid flow of information through various forms of media is chaotic. So do yourselves both a favor: Put the chaos on hold for long enough to engage with your spouse in a meaningful way. The apps, books, and breaking news will still be there when you’re finished.

Show Physical Affection

Finally, show physical affection to your spouse. Hug, kiss, hold hands, cuddle – it’s up to what you and your spouse prefer. Nonverbal affection is a great way to reinforce the kind, loving words you say to one another.

Making more time for intimacy is another layer of great nonverbal communication. Our book, Crazy Good Sex, is a resource especially designed to help you grow closer in the bedroom. You can take a look and get your copy here.

At first, it might take some time to build new habits and be more mindful of your nonverbal habits. But the more invested you are in understanding and loving your spouse, the easier it will be to add these forms of effective nonverbal communication into your relationship. Before you know it, they’ll feel more like a natural part of your everyday life.

Do you and your spouse take time to focus intentionally on nonverbal communication? Do you have any tips to add? We’d love to hear from you in the comments below.

One Comment

Leave a Reply