Help! How Do We Prioritize Our Marriage As New Parents?


During certain seasons of marriage, it’s more challenging to prioritize your relationship over other demands. This is especially true when you have babies or small children. When parenting requires the majority of your time, what are some ways you and your spouse can prioritize your marriage?

Keep Open Communication Alive

Communication is crucial in every season of marriage, and it’s especially important now. Even if you don’t have a lot of time for long conversations in this season, make as much time to communicate as you can. There’s no other way to clearly let your spouse know what you need, or to learn and meet their needs in the best possible way. When you start having kids, you experience many changes in multiple areas of your life all at once; so keep communication strong and consistent.

Be Understanding With One Another

Parenting brings with it differences in energy and availability that you might not have experienced before. It’s important to be understanding with each other during the ups and downs. This is true all the time, but especially when you’re sleep-deprived and raising one or more small children.

There will be days when you don’t get much one-on-one time together. It might also be difficult to schedule dates and intimacy as often as you’d like. Keep loving each other unconditionally, and look for ways to spend time together when you can.

Plan Date Nights, Even If They’re Date Nights In

If you can, plan date night together as often as you can. When you have infants and small kids, these might be more seldom than you’d like. Still, making time just for one another is important whenever possible.

It might be difficult to get out of the house, depending on your circumstances. In that case, maybe planning date nights in could give you and your spouse the time you crave without taking you away from home. Consider asking family members or trusted friends to babysit for a little while, whether you stay in or go out.

Take Care Of Each Other

Perhaps the simplest way to prioritize your marriage in the early parenting years is to take care of each other. When you have babies, you’re both exhausted and need sleep. Toddlers, preschoolers, and elementary-aged children require different kinds of care and attention. Parenting demands will shift with time.

Ensuring your spouse feels cared for during this season is one of the best things you can do for your marriage. Instead of becoming disillusioned with the changes that come with parenthood, embrace them. This season will pass, but you’ll always remember how you treated one another when your children were small and you needed someone to lean on.

Learn How To Make More Time For One Another

Looking for more tips on maximizing your time so you can prioritize your marriage? Our book, Your Time-Starved Marriage, is your roadmap to more time in your busy schedule. Want to know more? Learn more and grab your copy here.

If you have children, how do you prioritize your marriage while parenting? We’d love to know your tips and experiences in the comments.

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