Life looks different with kids than it did when you were newlyweds. When you’re raising kids, daily obligations and responsibilities can get in the way of intimacy. But that doesn’t mean you have to put intimacy on hold.
There are many ways to nurture more intimacy in your marriage, even when you’re parenting. The parenting years can take a toll on you both, particularly when you’re caring for infants, toddlers, or small children. In this season, it’s especially important to focus on one another with patience, love, and understanding.
Ready to learn more about cultivating more intimacy during the parenting years? Let’s jump in.
Prioritize Emotional Intimacy and Physical Closeness
When time for physical intimacy is limited, prioritize building more emotional intimacy with your spouse. Parenting can be a challenge. If you’re feeling drained and unavailable for sex, nurturing emotional intimacy is just as important.
When you cultivate a high level of emotional intimacy in your marriage, that can carry you through during times when sex is less frequent. If both of you are feeling emotionally nurtured, sex will be that much more satisfying. In the meantime, showing one another love, patience, gratitude, and support will pay dividends.
Like emotional intimacy, it’s important to emphasize physical closeness. Non-sexual touch like cuddling, sitting together, and hugging helps you both feel loved. Whenever you’re sharing space, take every opportunity to be physically close.
Plan Ahead When You Can
When you’re starving for extra time together, the calendar is your best friend. Work with your spouse to plan ahead for intimacy whenever you can. That will help you navigate the parenting years well, while still making time for each other.
Finding time for intimacy in the midst of a busy life won’t just happen by chance. You’ll need to create the time and opportunities to be together. It’s possible that the frequency of sex, or the schedule you work out, might not be ideal. But the most important thing is making sure you protect as much time together as you can.
Planning ahead also gives you the opportunity to enlist help from trusted friends and family. If you know ahead of time when your next date night will be, you’ll have more time to find a babysitter. Surround yourself with supportive people you can trust to help you focus on spending some one-on-one time with your spouse.
Remember This Isn’t Forever
The days feel long when you’re taking care of babies and young kids, but this season doesn’t last forever. In fact, once you’re on the other side, you might just look back and realize it flew by. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, discouraged, or simply longing for more intimacy with your spouse, remember that this time is temporary.
Luckily, there will still be opportunities for you and your spouse to carve out time for intimacy – but that might just look different in comparison to the child-free days. If you need a little extra inspiration, our book Crazy Good Sex is a great place to start. Take a look and grab a copy here.
How do you and your spouse make time for intimacy while raising children? We’d love to hear from you! Leave a comment below and let’s talk about it.
Good one!