How Can I Stop My Spouse From Interrupting Conversations?

Is your spouse a chronic interruptor?

Do you dread talking on the phone when your spouse is nearby? Does your spouse tend to jump in the middle of your conversations—or worse, dominate them? And does that interruption derail your chat entirely, or force an end to the original interaction?

Interrupting conversations is Control Freak behavior. Even if it’s a seemingly small quirk among your spouse’s many good qualities, it’s worth addressing. While you want to avoid becoming controlling too, there are a few things you can do to call your spouse’s attention to the problem.

Before we move on, let’s quickly define what a Control Freak is: someone who cares deeply about what’s going to happen. Someone with a controlling personality is often riddled with anxiety, and insecure under the surface. They may seem self-assured, but in reality, they’re spinning internally.

It’s possible that your spouse’s anxiety kicks into high gear when they see or hear you having a conversation they’re not part of. But everyone deserves to be able to have uninterrupted conversations with friends and family. We’ve gathered a few tips to help you better protect your interactions and relationships. Let’s get right into it.

Interruptions Must Have Consequences

First, there must be consequences when your spouse interrupts. You don’t have to fight with, or intentionally humiliate, your spouse in order to create effective consequences, either. This isn’t about escalating conflict. The solution can be simple.

We’ve observed spouses who handed over control to highlight the disruption. For instance, if your spouse interrupts a phone call, hand the phone to your spouse. This kind of response says, “All right, if you want control, here it is.”

Your spouse might become agitated when you do this. Continue to highlight the disruption and hand the conversation over. If your spouse cares so much about being in the middle of it, then they need to take ownership of that.

Natural Consequences Force Self-Reflection

Sometimes, it’s okay to do things that perturb your spouse. Natural consequences for their actions ultimately block their goal. In time, consequences can force self-reflection and could help reduce interruptions.

This scenario reminds us of a real-life story from early in our marriage. We’d just purchased a new car, and I (Les) was a hypervigilant passenger the first time Leslie drove it. I was so anxious about protecting the car that I gave endless unwanted advice from my seat. Finally, she pulled over, exited the car, and refused to get back in until I took the wheel.

I knew immediately what I’d done, and I felt awful about it. Even though I tried to take back my comments, she insisted I take over. That moment taught me a valuable lesson, and I stopped criticizing her driving.

Get Help Addressing Control Freak Relationships

If your spouse is a Control Freak, it’s essential to get help to address the challenges in your relationship. Our book, The Control Freak, will guide you in identifying the controlling people and behaviors in your life. Take a look and order yours here.

Does your spouse interrupt conversations, or display other controlling behaviors? How have you addressed and overcome those issues? Let’s talk about it in the comments.