Mom Guilt: Remembering the Value of Being a Stay-at-Home Mom

I feel embarrassed to be a stay-at-home-mom. How can I put more value into that?

Mom guilt: it’s a dreaded concept, and an unfortunate reality for most mothers. No matter what choices they’ve made regarding raising children and investing in their careers, women feel guilty. There seems to be no right answer, and there is definitely no perfect choice.

In today’s video, Leslie tackles the mom guilt monster and discusses ways for mothers to start feeling more secure in their decisions.

You’re feeling immense pressure because you’re the only mom your kids have, and you’re trying to be fully present for them–but you’re trapped in this guilt. In contrast, moms who work feel guilty for working. It’s like a catch-22.

If you’re a stay-at-home mom who’s struggling with guilt–perhaps you feel like you should be helping to support the family financially, or maybe you feel like you’re inadequate in comparison to your working friends–you have to allow yourself to become secure with your choices.

Or if you’re a working mom and having a job outside the home is what’s best for your family, we urge you to shed that guilt and be secure in the choices you’ve made for your family.

Being a mom is the hardest job, and it’s so easy to pressure yourself because no matter what, moms universally want to do the best they can at raising their kids.

Are you deeply fulfilled by the choices you’ve made as a mother? If you can honestly answer that you are, then work to feel confident in those choices. You’re living out your values and leaving a legacy for your children.

Moms, have you struggled with guilt? How did you overcome it? Was your spouse supportive of your decisions? We would love to read your stories.



  • Michele says:

    I’m a mom of 10 year old twins and a 4 month old baby boy. I’ve always worked outside the home to provide for my family and had no other options as a single mom for 5 of the last 10 years. With the birth of my son I really wanted to be able to stay home and watch him grow for as long as possible. Life was always so hard juggling being a working mom and trying to find balance between job and family time while still taking care for myself. I did my best to show up for as many of my twins events as possible but there were always things that had to be missed or times when I was just too tired to truly be there for them. Now as a SAHM mom I struggle with losing my identity by not working and having my family go without because I’m not contributing to the finances. Luckily I have a very supportive husband that wants me to be home and available for all three kids and I am getting more confident about my decision every day.

  • Leah says:

    I’m the mother of five children. My oldest son has a touch of autism and ADHD, my oldest daughter also has ADHD, and my youngest daughter was born with a cleft lip and cleft palate. I’ve been on all sides of this issue, having been married twice. So I know what it feels like to be a single mom, to be a working mom, and to be a stay at home mom. And yes I felt guilty at times, during all three periods. I got through it, by telling myself it was just a season and to be grateful for everything that I could think of at that moment. I used my Psych degree to work in early childhood education, so that I could be close to my kids. I also started a housekeeping business, so I could take my kids with me. When I was a single mom, I consolidated everything that I could, so that I didn’t waste time driving around. And took the younger kids everywhere, so we had more quality time. Now that I’m a stay at home mom again, I treat it like a small business of my own. I do research on the internet, and work out foods that are healthier for my family. I make appointments to keep my own body healthy, dress for business on weekdays, work with my husband on a budget and make family goals to keep on track. I contribute to the family by gardening, cooking 5 star meals, being a mentor to my kids and their friends, volunteering and writing. When I’m down or frazzled, I make sure I go outside, tell my husband, and call my mom/friends! Just remember it’s always going to be a juggling act no matter what you do! And remember your best will not be perfect because nobody is.

  • Diane says:

    Couldn’t agree more! When you’re a stay-at-home mom you have so many things to focus on and guilt shouldn’t be one of them. Comparing yourself with moms that go back to work within months of giving birth or moms you “think” are more successful is a no-no.

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