Category

Self Reflection

How to Stop Controlling Your Spouse

By Communication, Conflict, Self Reflection, Time 70 Comments

Why do we try to stay in control? Often, when we’re trying to control others (in this case, our spouse), we’re acting out of fear. Perhaps it’s fear of the unknown, or just the simple fear of not getting something that we deeply desire. Whatever the case, the primary motivating factor in controlling behavior is often fear. Fear itself can have many different triggers. If you’ve been betrayed by your spouse in the past (in the case of infidelity–or any other breach of trust, for that matter), you might resort to control in order to alleviate your fear of further…

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Why you should eliminate the word “Always” from your marriage

By Communication, Conflict, Self Reflection, Time 4 Comments

Do these phrases sound familiar? “You always interrupt me.” “You always put __________ before me.” “You always forget.” Making absolute accusations to or about your spouse will get you nowhere fast. We have all done it (probably more than once!), but “always” is a word we throw around that must, without a doubt, be eliminated from our relationship vocabulary–especially when it comes to communicating with our spouse. Words can be both building blocks and bulldozers. You can spend days, months, and years using positive and encouraging words toward your spouse, only to shake your solid foundation with a careless phrase…

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The Hard Work of Spiritual Intimacy

By Communication, Conflict, Scripture, Self Reflection No Comments

We go to church and spend time with Christian couples. Is there more to being spiritually intimate? Spiritual intimacy is one of the most important–yet least discussed–aspects of marital health and well being. While you and your spouse may share many interests, be deeply in love, and be on the same page in many parts of your lives, getting in sync on a spiritual level often proves to be much more challenging. Research has proven that a close spiritual bond is of the utmost importance in marriage. Spiritual intimacy represents a couple’s deepest core values, mission, and passion for life….

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Ground Rules for Restoring Broken Trust

Ground Rules for Restoring Broken Trust

By Communication, Conflict, In-laws & Family, Scripture, Self Reflection 97 Comments

When trust has been damaged or destroyed in a marriage, the rebuilding process takes a huge amount of patience, skill, and–above all–time. After your very foundation has been shaken, restoring trust in your marriage is literally a relationship makeover. You and your spouse must work together over time to rebuild the trust you lost, and both of you have a lot of work to do to get there. But with determination and an absolute commitment to restoration, your marriage can be healthy again. You might not realize it now, but if you’ve been betrayed by your spouse, you can begin…

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What to Do When Your Kids Want You to Date Again

By Communication, Conflict, In-laws & Family, Self Reflection, Time No Comments

I have been divorced for two years and have teenage kids. They want me to date. Is it too soon? What do you do when you’ve recently gone through a divorce–and your kids are encouraging you to date again? Typically, children (of all ages) are resistant to the idea of a single parent dating. Divorce turns a family’s world upside down and inside-out, and often the idea of welcoming a new love interest on the scene is unpalatable for the kids–and unsettling for the single parent, even if the desire for a new relationship exists. If your own children are…

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When Your Spouse Won’t Listen

By Communication, Conflict, In-laws & Family, Scripture, Self Reflection 22 Comments

We all desire to be seen and heard. It is true at work, in our relationships, and most especially with our spouses. Fewer things are more empowering than articulating thoughts that are heard, received, considered and used to grow our relationships. On the contrary, not feeling heard disempowers, erodes and stunts our relationships from maturing. Worse, if it happens over a period of time it can lead to anger, distance and apathy. So what do you do if your spouse won’t listen to you? If you find yourself in that situation, you likely feel frustrated, at best–and entitled, at worst….

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Killing the Competition Monster

By Communication, Conflict, Scripture, Self Reflection No Comments

Why do women who have nothing to gain compete with each other? It’s an unfortunate reality that competition is one of the most negative aspects in the lives of women. The culture of competition shatters self-confidence, distances relationships, and breeds bitterness. An insecure, immature, competitive nature does not look good on any of us. In my (Leslie) experience, competition is almost exclusively driven by insecurity. Looking at other women’s lives, appearances, jobs, etc., is a quick (but very inaccurate) way to measure one’s worth. Women who compete are constantly asking themselves, “Am I good enough?” And the only way they…

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8 Ridiculously Simple Ways to Improve Your Marriage

By Communication, Conflict, Self Reflection 20 Comments

It can be easy to over complicate what it takes to have a healthy, thriving marriage. We can look at our spouse’s needs and feel it necessary to make grandiose plans to show our love. Most often, however, showing consistent, small acts of affection and appreciation can go further and last longer than a weekend away, an expensive gift, or even a big vacation. Having a great marriage happens how most everything does: by making one intentional, meaningful step at a time. If you are stuck in a rut, or simply looking for ways to make a good marriage a…

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Danger Zone: When Nostalgia Threatens Your Marriage

By Communication, Conflict, Self Reflection 2 Comments

Is it wrong to pursue a friendship with an ex-boyfriend after being married for 7 years? What would you do if an old flame suddenly reappeared in your life–and you’re married to someone else? Should you reconnect and establish a friendship, or should you run? The re-entry of an ex-boyfriend or ex-girfriend into your life can stir up old feelings that you have long left behind…feelings that could be very dangerous to your marriage and family. So how do you decide what to do about that friend request you haven’t yet responded to? In today’s video, I (Leslie) discuss the…

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Secrets to Creating Awesome Dates

By Communication, In-laws & Family, Self Reflection, Time 9 Comments

Dating your spouse is a great way to sustain and nurture the intimacy in your marriage. We highly recommend taking the time to have a regular date night with your husband or wife. Taking time away from your day-to-day life to focus on one another is a fantastic way to stay connected in spite of whatever else is going on in your life. Today, we’re sharing a few ways you and your spouse can create awesome dates–and great memories along the way. Tie Up Loose Ends at Home This may sound like a strange way to create an amazing date,…

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