Independent Woman: Making Your Unconscious Roles Conscious Choices

I was raised by a single mom. As a wife, how can I be submissive without compromising my independence?

You’re a wife who was raised by a single mom. That means that growing up, you saw a really strong example of an independent, capable provider-mother who ran your household. Your mom was an exceptional role model for you.

Unfortunately, being raised by one strong parent can make it challenging for you to figure out what your roles are in a marriage relationship. You may have many idealized dreams in your mind, but you don’t feel comfortable trying to live them out.

In today’s video, we’re discussing the issues that being raised in a single-parent home can create in your marriage, as well as constructive ways the two of you can address this together.

It’s crucial for you and your spouse to explore your backgrounds together. Doing so will create empathy and understanding between you, especially in areas of your relationship where you may not easily level with one another. Unpack your past and share stories about what your life was like growing up, and the examples that were set for you.

In addition to learning about one another’s home life, work together to reach a consensus about what the roles in your marriage and household need to look like. Who do you expect to do what? How do you expect to share responsibilities and lighten each other’s load?

We created an exercise in our Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts workbook that talks about making your unconscious roles conscious choices. It’s an eye-opener for couples, and it helps them to work together to find areas where each individual needs to take ownership.

Was one of you raised in a single-parent home? How did it impact your relationship? How did the two of you work together to approach your roles in your marriage? We’d love to hear from you in the comments section!


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