Category

Marriage

My Spouse’s Criticism Broke My Heart. How Do I Heal?

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage 8 Comments

Criticism is toxic to happy marriages, poisoning happiness and sabotaging your growth as a couple. A critical nature kills intimacy and causes the victim to build walls around themselves in an attempt to ward off future criticism. Worse, criticism can cripple your personal growth and your emotional health. When your spouse criticizes you, it hurts. Being picked apart and scrutinized by anyone is hurtful, but when it’s your husband or wife, it’s worse. Not only is criticism demoralizing, it lacks the appreciation and regard we want to feel from our spouse. If you have a servant heart, spousal criticism will…

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Resent Your Spouse? 5 Ways to Reset

By Conflict, Marriage, Relationships 5 Comments

Resentment is an insidious force that creeps into marriages and cripples them. It’s important to rid your marriage of any resentment that might exist, choosing instead to focus on your love for one another. But sometimes, resentment roots into your attitude toward your spouse anyway, and it takes work to weed it out again. If you feel that you resent your spouse, here are a few ways to hit the reset button. 1. Check in with your hard feelings. How long have your hard feelings been festering? Are you feeling resentful about something that happened long ago, or something more…

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My Spouse’s Old Lie Still Bothers Me. How Do I Let Go?

By Conflict, Marriage, Relationships, Self Reflection 2 Comments

Dishonesty destroys relationships–and not always immediately. Sometimes, a spouse’s past lies can stick with us, doing continual damage over the course of time. If your spouse lied to you in the past and it is still bothering you, there may be several reasons why it’s nagging at you – and ways you can work towards healing. Shattered Expectations When your spouse lies, particularly if they haven’t lied to you before, this experience shatters the expectations you’ve set for your marriage. Married couples aren’t meant to lie to one another. Honesty is foundational to a happy and healthy marriage, so it…

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The Importance of Forgiveness & Resilience in Marriage

By Conflict, Marriage, Relationships One Comment

It’s common for married couples to have high expectations of one another. But, it’s also common for those expectations to be unmet. Unmet expectations can result in anger, sadness, and resentment, all of which put a strain on your marriage. In order to overcome unmet expectations and conflicts that emerge over the course of your relationship, you and your spouse must be both resilient and willing to extend forgiveness. Forgiveness is an essential part of all healthy relationships, and resilience helps us bounce back from hard times. In order to come back from conflict stronger than before, forgiveness is an…

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7 Ways to Prepare for a Not-So-Typical Holiday Season Together

By In-laws & Family, Marriage, Recreation, Relationships No Comments

The holidays are almost here. For many people, the holiday season is an exciting time full of possibilities and celebrations. But for many, holidays are a reminder of difficult times. Still others look forward to their normal traditions, only to be derailed by unexpected circumstances life throws their way. If you find yourself facing down a holiday season that looks nothing like your normal, festive routine, there are some things you and your spouse can do to make it happy and enjoyable for everyone. Let’s dive in. 1. Take stock of your usual holiday traditions. Many of us fall into…

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How to Prioritize Christlike Love During Difficult Times

By Marriage One Comment

Loving like Jesus is important at all times, but when you’re experiencing a challenging season, Christlike love becomes absolutely critical. In order to keep Christlike love a top priority, you must practice it intentionally on a daily basis. Christlike love transcends all–hard times, interpersonal conflict, joy, and loss. Whatever you and your spouse are facing right now, you can make it to the other side through Jesus’s love. Let’s look at a few ways we can all prioritize Christlike love during hard times. 1. Pay careful attention to your spouse’s needs. When times are tough, you and your spouse may…

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4 Ways to Grow Closer to Your Spouse This Fall

By Intimacy, Marriage, Recreation, Relationships 7 Comments

The seasons are changing, and we’re headed into fall. Fall is a time of profound change in the natural world as the leaves change color, then drift to the ground. It’s also a time of warmth, gratitude, and giving. There are many ways you and your spouse can use the fall season to draw closer to one another. Let’s look at a few ways you can get cozier with your husband or wife this fall. 1. Play more together. New seasons often mean new opportunities for play. When the weather changes, or when certain sports or activities cycle in, that’s…

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Why It’s Time To Let Go of Perfectionism in Your Marriage

By Conflict, Marriage 5 Comments

Are you a perfectionist? Is your spouse? Although perfectionists tend to pride themselves on their meticulousness and attention to detail, those of us who experience perfectionism often find that the people around us don’t necessarily uphold our ideals. And in a marriage, perfectionistic tendencies can create major strain. Today, we’re breaking down a few reasons why it’s time to let go of perfectionism in your marriage. Let’s dive right in. 1. Perfectionism triggers unnecessary stress. Expecting perfection in one or more areas of life and marriage sets us up for unnecessary stress. Stress, in turn, can negatively impact our health….

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Why Every Married Couple Should Avoid the Blame Game

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage 3 Comments

Playing the blame game is an unhealthy and damaging way for couples to approach problem solving. Rather than resolving conflicts, blame and finger-pointing actually make them worse. If you’re trying to build or maintain a healthy, intimate marriage, you’ll want to avoid blaming each other for problems in your life. Let’s look at a few reasons why blame is so toxic to our marriages. 1. Blame doesn’t listen. When you blame one another for a problem you’re facing–big or small–you are actively choosing not to listen to your spouse’s side of the story. This hurts your ability to be empathic…

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3 Reasons to Stop Idealizing Your Spouse

By Communication, Intimacy, Marriage 4 Comments

It’s common for couples to idealize one another early in their relationships. For many people, idealization is the peak of romance. It’s infused in the rush of new love and the excitement of the honeymoon period. But the truth is, idealizing your spouse is harmful to your marriage long-term. That’s because idealization isn’t the same thing as being enamored with, or in love with, your spouse. In fact, idealization is in direct contrast to the Christlike love we should cultivate for one another. It may sound odd, but putting your spouse on a pedestal can damage your marriage. Let’s take…

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