
If you’re a married couple still in college, is it okay to live with your parents or in-laws?
In our experience working on a college campus, we spent time around students daily. We witnessed this scenario hundreds of times. It’s challenging to go through college together as a married couple.
Finances tend to be tight when you’re both in college, so the idea of saving money by living with parents can seem appealing. When you marry before college graduation, you experience the excitement of getting married, but the financial pressure is also very real. Living rent-free is an attractive option, but what you really need is some space as a couple.
Developing Your Honeymoon Habits
During your first few years of marriage, you and your spouse need time to develop what we call your “honeymoon habits.” This time in your relationship is incredibly important for establishing healthy patterns together.
Some living arrangements and situations allow for a measure of privacy and separation. You may have a separate, private entrance or two living spaces, for example. Only you know the intricate details of your living situation, but generally speaking, the two of you need to carve out your own space where you live together and establish honeymoon habits on your own. Creating this unique life for yourselves will be productive throughout your decades of marriage.
If You Live With Parents, Give Yourself a Time Limit
If you’re in a financial jam and need to live with one of your parents for a period of time, then set a goal for when you’ll be on your feet and able to move into your own place. Don’t look at living with your parents as a long-term solution. It’s important for you and your spouse to find and create a home of your own as you create your story.
Setting a goal for moving out isn’t about shutting out the people you love. Having family support nearby is a blessing. But it’s also crucial to honor the sanctity of the commitment you’ve made to one another.
This is your time to create your home together; cherish the time you have, just the two of you. If you have children in the future, there will be far fewer opportunities to spend time alone together. Take advantage of the opportunity to plant the seeds of the home you want to live in for the rest of your lives.
Every Situation is Different
Of course, every couple’s situation is different, so take your time deciding what’s best for you at this moment. Prioritize the health of your marriage as you discuss this decision together. What kind of living arrangement will be best suited for you in the long term?
Regardless of where you decide to live while you finish college, make sure to create intentional one-on-one time together. Taking time for a regular devotional can help you nurture your marriage. Our Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts Devotional was created especially for couples like you; it’s designed to help you grow closer to God and one another. Learn more and order your copy here.
What do you think about living with your parents as college-aged newlyweds? Have you experienced it? Comment below and let us know.
When I first read the question I thought, sure, we did that and it was great – helped us out for a time and everyone seemed to get along. However, our situation was different. We lived on our own for several years and then moved in with my parents for a few months when we moved back to my hometown. We had already had time to establish ourselves as a couple, work through the inevitable question of how you properly make spaghetti, etc. When we moved in with my parents we were already secure in our marriage and we also, as you note in the article, had a time period in mind. Once we were able to find a new place to live we were able to get re-settled.