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The Good Fight Archives - SYMBIS Assessment

My Spouse’s Old Lie Still Bothers Me. How Do I Let Go?

By Conflict, Marriage, Relationships, Self Reflection 2 Comments

Dishonesty destroys relationships–and not always immediately. Sometimes, a spouse’s past lies can stick with us, doing continual damage over the course of time. If your spouse lied to you in the past and it is still bothering you, there may be several reasons why it’s nagging at you – and ways you can work towards healing. Shattered Expectations When your spouse lies, particularly if they haven’t lied to you before, this experience shatters the expectations you’ve set for your marriage. Married couples aren’t meant to lie to one another. Honesty is foundational to a happy and healthy marriage, so it…

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The Importance of Forgiveness & Resilience in Marriage

By Conflict, Marriage, Relationships One Comment

It’s common for married couples to have high expectations of one another. But, it’s also common for those expectations to be unmet. Unmet expectations can result in anger, sadness, and resentment, all of which put a strain on your marriage. In order to overcome unmet expectations and conflicts that emerge over the course of your relationship, you and your spouse must be both resilient and willing to extend forgiveness. Forgiveness is an essential part of all healthy relationships, and resilience helps us bounce back from hard times. In order to come back from conflict stronger than before, forgiveness is an…

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The Ultimate Conflict Resolution Roundup

By Conflict, Marriage, Relationships No Comments

Looking for resources to help you and your spouse with conflict resolution? You’ve come to the right place. We’ve created a roundup of our top posts to help you and your partner navigate conflict. Let’s dive in. Problem Solving Working through problems together is one of the most important things a couple will learn to do over the course of marriage. Here are some tips for solving problems constructively. 4 Tips For Constructively Resolving Conflict With Your Spouse Locked in a disagreement? Not sure what to do next? Here are 4 tips for helping you and your spouse resolve conflict….

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Help! My Spouse Gets Controlling When We Disagree

By Conflict 4 Comments

Does this scenario sound familiar? Most of the time, you and your spouse tend to have a peaceful relationship…until you get into a disagreement. And during those times, you feel like you barely recognize them. So what is going on? It’s possible that your spouse actually has a control problem–maybe even one they keep well-hidden until their buttons get pushed. But how is that possible? Control freaks aren’t always controllers in every scenario. Sometimes, the controlling qualities come out in certain circumstances. Having a fight can bring out the worst in anyone, but it tends to ignite the control freak…

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3 Truths About Anger Everyone Should Know

By Conflict, Relationships 10 Comments

Anger is a natural part of being human, but it can also become destructive when uncontrolled. Likewise, anger is a natural part of conflict. It’s important that we understand how to manage anger so that we can effectively manage conflicts in our marriages and other interpersonal relationships. Anger tends to be the result of a perceived injustice against us. When improperly processed and communicated, anger can damage relationships–sometimes irreversibly. Uncontrolled anger can muddy the waters of a good fight and prevent us from getting to the core of the issue at hand. Let’s look at a few truths about anger…

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4 Tips for Constructively Resolving Conflict with Your Spouse

By Conflict, Marriage, Relationships 2 Comments

In last week’s blog post, we discussed five reasons why you shouldn’t wait to resolve a conflict with your spouse. It’s vital to build a relationship based on open communication and trust; allowing conflicts to go on for long periods of time damages both. The good news is, there are many useful strategies and tools available that can help you and your spouse constructively resolve conflict. In our book, The Good Fight, we lay out some ground rules in chapter 5, “Rules for Fight Club”. Today, we want to share a quick overview of these core rules to give you…

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Two Rules for Cultivating Ownership During a Fight

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage 7 Comments

We’ve said it time and time again; good fighters own their proverbial piece of the conflict pie. They know that criticism is for cowards. They are also aware that blame and shame never lead to positive outcomes. Good fighters take a bold step and admit when they’ve made a mistake. In any fight, it’s important to understand that it’s not who is wrong but what is wrong that counts. And good fighters know this. If you are lacking the tools you need to own your piece of the pie, then this post is for you. There are two rules for…

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Charting Your Course as a Couple

By Communication One Comment

We’ve all heard jokes about people who never want to stop and ask for directions – they think they can find their way without help. But when it comes to your future as a couple, stopping to discuss your direction together is an essential ingredient needed to get on the same track. It takes a lot of strategic thought to determine who you are and where are you headed as a couple, not as individuals. Slowing down to figure this out is imperative. Charting your course in twelve month increments is a key approach to maintaining a healthy relationship. Additionally,…

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