Dec 29
Love20

6 Dangerous Statements To Say In Your Marriage

By Communication, Conflict, Self Reflection, Time 2 Comments

Your words matter. They carry power, and they can be forgiven–but hardly forgotten. They can fuel or kill momentum, build up or tear down. They are givers and takers of life. And it’s so very important to remember that they can never be taken back. We have all said things that we regret. We have hurt, torn down, or criticized in moments of frustration. And it’s likely that you have done this to your spouse–perhaps multiple times. You know the drill: harsh words, immediate regret. Most of us know better. To cut down our spouse with our words is never…

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Dec 22
Love23

7 Ways to Dial Back Holiday Stress

By Communication, Conflict, In-laws & Family, Scripture, Self Reflection, Time No Comments

“Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, ‘Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.’” – Luke 2:13 (NIV) Jesus came to earth to bring peace and save humanity. Christmas was established to celebrate his birth, and to give us time to focus on the greatest gift ever given. But somewhere along the way, the holiday season shifted from a time of thankfulness and peaceful reflection to a time of overwhelm, stress, and discord. Unfortunately, the holidays have become a season that…

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Dec 17
Love18

Too Scared to Speak Up: How Do I Open Up to My Husband?

By Communication, Conflict, Self Reflection No Comments

I’m so scared of speaking up. How do I open my feelings up to my husband? Many times, we find ourselves hesitant to speak up about our feelings to our spouses. Because we value harmony in our marriages, we find it easy to withdraw inside ourselves to avoid even the thought of creating conflict. In the spirit of making peace, we often misstep. When your spouse asks, “What’s wrong,” and you respond with, “Nothing,” you’re actually hurting your relationship. Sound familiar? It’s better to be up-front and honest with your spouse, even if it’s a little scary–and even if it…

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Dec 15
Love18

5 Ways to Refocus Your Marriage for the New Year

By Communication, Self Reflection, Time No Comments

Here we are at the end of another calendar year. For some of you, this year has been a high. Your marriage and family are in order, finances are good, loved ones are healthy. For others, maybe you have faced some significant challenges this year. Most likely, you fall somewhere in between. There is something about a new year and a fresh new start that triggers new hopes and dreams in all areas of our lives. For the purpose of this post, let’s focus on marriage. In this coming year, let’s resolve to refocus, rekindle, and maybe even revive our…

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Dec 10
Love12

Crisis Control: When To Call in the Experts

By Communication, Conflict No Comments

I’m not sure how we compare to other couples. How do we know if we ever need professional help? Have you ever wondered whether you and your spouse should seek professional marriage counseling? Do you suspect that the two of you could really use the help of an objective third party? If the two of you continually seem to butt heads over the same issues, over and over again, that’s a pretty clear indicator that it’s time to seek help. If you’re feeling stuck, frustrated, lonely, perpetually angry, or are ready to give up, those are major warning signs as…

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Dec 08
Love24

5 Reasons Why Your Spouse Isn’t the Source of Your Happiness

By Communication, Conflict, In-laws & Family, Self Reflection 8 Comments

When we get married, we expect that everything good in our lives will get better, and that being married will make the bad things disappear. Since our behaviors in marriage are fueled by our (often false!) beliefs about marriage, it’s important to shed light on unrealistic expectations and myths surrounding it. One of the greatest and most common myths we tend to believe (but don’t often express) when entering marriage is that we’ll somehow be completed or made whole by our husband or wife. As romantic as that concept sounds, it’s simply not true–and resting all your hope for happiness…

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Dec 03
Love16

Tangled in Communication Woes

By Communication, Conflict, Self Reflection One Comment

My wife and I express our feelings in different ways. We get tangled in them. Can you help? If you’ve found that you and your spouse have regular misunderstandings, you’re not alone! We’ve seen time and again, over years of research, that men and women simply do not communicate in the same ways. For many couples, it’s too easy to get “tangled up” in a web of miscommunication. In today’s video, we address some of the challenges that married couples face when it comes to expressing themselves clearly and effectively. Our ability to put feelings into words largely depends on…

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Dec 01
Love14

Change Your Attitude, Change Your Marriage

By Communication, Conflict, Self Reflection One Comment

So much about healthy relationships boils down to the attitudes that we bring to the table, and our attitudes are a direct outflow of the condition of our hearts. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Guarding your heart looks like resisting negative deposits like anger, resentment, and dishonesty, and inviting positive inputs like kindness, sacrifice, commitment, and unwavering love for your spouse. It’s filling yourself up with the word of God, surrounding yourself with wise friendships, and standing against what culture says is the standard of marriage. A LITTLE…

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Nov 26
Love19

Practicing Gratitude in Marriage

By Communication, Conflict, In-laws & Family, Self Reflection, Uncategorized 2 Comments

Giving thanks for and with your spouse is one of the most significant habits you can build into your marriage. Gratitude is an essential ingredient in any relationship, but it takes intentionality and time to put it into practice. Being grateful can become a way of being, and that carries immense power to sustain and enhance a relationship when authentic. Gratitude illuminates the good gifts we’ve been given–both by our spouse and by God. When we come into marriage each day with thanksgiving, choosing together to see abundance rather than scarcity, relational satisfaction rises. Here are a few specific ways…

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Nov 24
Love31

5 Ways to Tell if Your Marriage is Toxic, and What to Do

By Communication, Conflict, Self Reflection 101 Comments

5 Ways to Tell if Your Marriage is Toxic, and What to Do It’s fairly easy to identify toxic relationships when they involve overt, obvious forms of abuse, like physical and verbal abuse or infidelity. But what do you do if you know that something is wrong in your marriage, but just can’t put your finger on what it is? Toxic relationships are not necessarily lost causes; in many cases, with appropriate therapy, bad behavior patterns can be corrected in order for a healthy marriage to thrive. It takes time and effort, but it is absolutely possible. Today we’ll share…

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