The Work/Family Conflict: When Priorities Clash

My wife wants me to work overtime over being with the kids. Which one is unreasonable?

Getting married and creating a family of your own is a wonderful thing–but married couples are often blindsided by some of the challenges that come along with it. Finding the right balance for your family is an important pursuit, but it takes the two of you working together to make that balance a reality.

So what do you do when you disagree on each of your roles in the family? Maybe your spouse wants to be at home with the kids, but you’d prefer that he or she work extra hours instead to make up for any financial windfall. You find yourselves grinding your axes over issues you never even considered while you were dating–or even newly married.

In today’s video, we discuss ideas for reaching an agreement when you’re faced with conflicts regarding work and family time.

Chances are that you and your spouse both have valid reasons for the positions you hold. And you might feel strongly about your role (or your spouse’s role) based on what you know from your family of origin.

Maybe the life you came from looked a certain way, and you expect it to continue to look the same.

We’re hard-wired to replicate the kind of life we came from. If you or your spouse came from a home where financial security and material possessions held high regard, you’ll likely place a lot of emphasis on what you earn. And if one of you came from a home where interpersonal relationships were deemed more important, you’ll focus more on wanting to be as connected as possible to one another.

It’s hard not to look at everything in life through your own lens, but marrying another person automatically guarantees that you will have more than one point of view to consider from now on.

How have you handled similar conflicts in your family? We’d love to hear from you in the comments!

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