In-laws & Family

Should I marry someone with a different cultural or religious background?

By Conflict, In-laws & Family One Comment

Can people of different religions and cultures have happy and successful lives together? So you’re considering marriage to a person of a different religion and/or culture. Can your relationship work long-term, given the challenges you know you’ll inevitably face as a couple, and as possible future parents? In this video, we discuss the obstacles that couples from different cultural and religious backgrounds face, and offer suggestions for successfully navigating through them together. If you and your spouse are of different religions or cultures, what difficulties have you faced and overcome together? Have you been able to maintain your unity as…

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Finding Rest Together: 5 Steps Toward Sabbath with Your Spouse

By In-laws & Family, Time One Comment

Have the demands of your personal and professional life found you echoing, “I’m too busy to find time to rest”? Is your business becoming a badge of honor? Are your children’s needs overrunning your calendar? Are your community activities dominating your days? Is lack of time and rest causing distance between you and your spouse? Time is one of the most important resources that we have; yet in this day and age, it’s becoming more monopolized by business and family than it is stewarded well with intention and care. Society today meets us with more pressure to succeed, and we…

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Please Help Me NOT Marry [a Man Like] My Dad

By In-laws & Family, Self Reflection No Comments

People Say We Marry Someone Like Our Mother/Father. Yikes! How Do I Turn Off That Instinct? It’s said that we are attracted to people like our parents… that a woman will be attracted to a man like her father, and a man to a woman like his mother. Many clients come to us and say, “But, yikes! What if I don’t want that?” In a world where parental relationships are often unhealthy, it’s normal for people to fear marrying a spouse like one of their parents. In this video, we talk about the human tendency to be attracted to people…

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Value Clash: When In-Laws Cause Conflict

By Communication, Conflict, In-laws & Family No Comments

In-Laws: What Do I Do When My Spouse Acts Differently With His/Her Parents? It’s common for married couples to experience conflict when their values clash with those of one or both sets of in-laws, and especially if one spouse is prone to falling in line with his or her family members when they are together. In this video, we address the need for spouses to communicate authentically and empathically when facing conflict involving their in-laws. Does your spouse behave differently when he or she is spending time with his or her family of origin? What are some constructive techniques you have…

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Should I Expect My Wife To Care About Her Looks?

By In-laws & Family, Self Reflection No Comments

Am I wrong to expect my wife to care a little about making herself look nice for me? Advice? During some seasons of marriage–child-rearing, for example–wives often find themselves with less reason or interest to invest energy in their outward appearances. In this video, Drs. Les and Leslie provide suggestions for husbands who want to remain physically attracted to their wives throughout the seasons of marriage, but don’t know how to approach the issue. Husbands, how have you created moments for your wives that allowed them to focus on nurturing their physical appearances, and what were the results? Wives, how…

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A Surprising Predictor of Marriage Success

By Communication, In-laws & Family No Comments

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29 Did you know that how you talk about each other to your friends and family can predict your success as a couple? A ten-year study at the University of Washington followed 95 couples beginning six months into their marriages. The initial hour-long interview together probed their relationship, their parents’ union and their philosophy of marriage. More than what was actually said, researchers noted … whether they expressed…

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How To Avoid Pre-Marriage Mode With Family

By In-laws & Family One Comment

When my spouse and I meet with his family, he completely ignores me. I mean it’s like I’m not even at the dinner table. He isn’t mean or degrading, it’s just that all of his attention is on his family, not me. On the drive home from his parent’s house the last time this happened, I brought it to his attention and he didn’t even know what I was talking about. What can I do to improve this situation? We’ve struggled with this same problem ourselves. It used to be that whenever we went to Les’s home, he shifted into…

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