Sooner or later, every married couple fights. However, there are some conflicts that are guaranteed to come up between spouses at some point in your relationship. In our experience, the top 5 conflicts every married couple faces are incredibly common and can cause a lot of tension in relationships when left unresolved.
Wondering what those common conflicts are? Let’s dive right in.
Money is one of the most common issues married couples fight about. Whether you’re talking about spending styles, how much is in your savings account, how much you should spend on vacations and holidays, or even how the two of you view finances, money is a hot topic. However, it’s also a conversation many couples avoid because it is so volatile.
Sex is yet another common disagreement between spouses. Like money, it’s an incredibly emotional topic and can leave both husband and wife feeling vulnerable and upset. Differing intimacy needs, frequency of sex, and communicating individual desires can all factor into conflicts centered around the bedroom.
Work is a hot-button issue in many marriages because it can create such an imbalance in your life if you’re not vigilant. Creating a work-life balance that works for your family is essential, otherwise it will be difficult to devote the time to your marriage and your family that you’d like to. Couples sometimes fight about working too much or too little, and about how each spouse will leverage their careers to provide for the family and plan for the future.
Parenting conflicts are tough to navigate. Spouses often disagree about how to discipline their kids, what boundaries to set, and how to go about carving out time for their marriage in the midst of busy child-rearing seasons (especially when small children are still in the home). The beliefs, unspoken rules, and expectations we form in our early family lives also impact our parenting as adults, and often factor into parenting conflicts.
Husbands and wives commonly disagree about household responsibilities. Fights can stem from innate beliefs about how chores relate to traditional gender roles, expectations from the homes we grew up in, and personal preferences regarding roles in the home. When we marry and create our own new household, it’s up to us to put our heads together and create something that’s truly our own. Unfortunately, the process isn’t always smooth or straightforward.
How to Handle Common Marital Conflicts
Learning how to both clearly communicate and effectively fight will help you tackle seemingly insurmountable problems and break stalemates in your marriage. Fighting with the person you love most is challenging. It’s critical that you both learn how to fight in such a way that you can both express your frustrations and expectations, so you can find a win-win resolution together.
Our book, The Good Fight, trains couples in constructive problem-solving so that overcoming conflicts can bring the two of you closer than ever before. In this book, we unlock strategies for overcoming the top 5 marriage fights–so if you’re ready to resolve conflicts stemming from finances, intimacy, careers, kids, or chores, we can help!
If you want a road map to learning how to fight well and grow closer to your spouse, The Good Fight is for you. Order your copy here.
Do you and your spouse find yourself embroiled in these common marriage fights? Which ones? If not these, what do you tend to disagree on? Let us know in the comments.