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communication Archives - SYMBIS Assessment

Should I Confront My Passive-Aggressive Spouse?

By Communication, Conflict No Comments

Imagine that you come home from work, and the garbage can is full. Your spouse is milling around the kitchen, slamming drawers and pot lids. As you attempt to wind down from the work day, you can’t help but notice that they’re really making a lot of noise. So, you head into the kitchen to find out what’s going on. “Honey, are you all right?” “I’m fine,” they say…but the dishes keep rattling. You’re distinctly aware that something isn’t right, but you can’t put your finger on what, exactly, it is. And if they won’t tell you what’s happening, how…

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My Spouse’s Criticism Broke My Heart. How Do I Heal?

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage 6 Comments

Criticism is toxic to happy marriages, poisoning happiness and sabotaging your growth as a couple. A critical nature kills intimacy and causes the victim to build walls around themselves in an attempt to ward off future criticism. Worse, criticism can cripple your personal growth and your emotional health. When your spouse criticizes you, it hurts. Being picked apart and scrutinized by anyone is hurtful, but when it’s your husband or wife, it’s worse. Not only is criticism demoralizing, it lacks the appreciation and regard we want to feel from our spouse. If you have a servant heart, spousal criticism will…

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5 Everyday Marriage Problems and How to Tackle Them

By Communication, Conflict 2 Comments

Every married couple must overcome problems over the course of their relationship. Obstacles are part of life. Everyone faces them, but couples have the privilege of facing them together. Today, we’re breaking down five everyday marriage problems most couples will encounter at sometime in their relationship. Let’s take a look! 1. Not making time for each other. Time is a valuable commodity. You must make time for one another if you want a happy marriage. However, it’s easy to get bogged down by careers, kids, and all-around busy schedules. The direct result of being too busy is losing valuable time…

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Why Every Married Couple Should Avoid the Blame Game

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage 3 Comments

Playing the blame game is an unhealthy and damaging way for couples to approach problem solving. Rather than resolving conflicts, blame and finger-pointing actually make them worse. If you’re trying to build or maintain a healthy, intimate marriage, you’ll want to avoid blaming each other for problems in your life. Let’s look at a few reasons why blame is so toxic to our marriages. 1. Blame doesn’t listen. When you blame one another for a problem you’re facing–big or small–you are actively choosing not to listen to your spouse’s side of the story. This hurts your ability to be empathic…

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3 Reasons to Stop Idealizing Your Spouse

By Communication, Intimacy, Marriage 4 Comments

It’s common for couples to idealize one another early in their relationships. For many people, idealization is the peak of romance. It’s infused in the rush of new love and the excitement of the honeymoon period. But the truth is, idealizing your spouse is harmful to your marriage long-term. That’s because idealization isn’t the same thing as being enamored with, or in love with, your spouse. In fact, idealization is in direct contrast to the Christlike love we should cultivate for one another. It may sound odd, but putting your spouse on a pedestal can damage your marriage. Let’s take…

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How Your Response to Life Change Affects Your Marriage

By Communication, Marriage, Relationships One Comment

Once you’re married, it doesn’t take much time at all to get a feel for how your and your spouse each respond to life change. How you respond to change can affect your marriage, for better or worse. And it can tell you and your spouse a lot about one another. Some couples experience drastic life changes early on in their marriages, while others might be married a little longer before they do. But every couple will face stressors, upheaval, and unexpected change at some point in their marriage–and maybe more than once. So how do your individual responses to…

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Deeper Empathy in Marriage: What’s the Secret?

By Communication, Marriage 3 Comments

In marriage, it’s crucial to be able to empathize with one another. We like to think about it as trading places–taking a walk in one another’s shoes. Empathy is the key to a happy, successful marriage…but what is the key to empathy? We like to think of self-awareness as the number one secret to achieving empathy in marriage. Being aware of your own emotions, and able to look at them objectively, allows you to step outside yourself and pay closer attention to what your spouse is feeling or going through. When you lack self-awareness of your emotional state, you get…

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Does Brutal Honesty Have a Place in Marriage?

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage 6 Comments

Do you pride yourself on being “brutally honest”? Many of us do, but should it really be a point of pride in marriage? While the old adage “the truth hurts” can be true, we should do our best to avoid being honest in a hurtful way. But oftentimes, we find ourselves in situations where we may try to justify harshness as a way to sway our spouses one way or the other. The Bible is full of wisdom on how we should treat one another. While we should absolutely be honest with our spouses, scripture also teaches us to be…

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3 Ways to Calm an Argument with Your Spouse

By Communication, Conflict 4 Comments

There aren’t many things that are worse than getting in an argument with your spouse that just keeps escalating. No matter what either of you try to do, you seem to be at a stalemate. Or worse, things are starting to get a little ugly. Luckily, there are several ways you can defuse heated conflict with your spouse. Doing so will give you both the opportunity to step back, regroup, and come back to the discussion with a fresh perspective. Let’s dive in. 1. Slow your response time. Many of us struggle with the impulse to jump right in and…

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How Facts vs. Feelings Influence Your Spouse

By Communication, Marriage, Relationships One Comment

In marriage, spouses influence one another significantly–both consciously and unconsciously. Knowing whether your spouse is more influenced by facts or by feelings can add a great deal of productivity to your conversations. We’re all influenced primarily by either facts or feelings. When spouses’ primary points of influence clash, this can lead to difficulties in communication. But when we know the driving force behind one another’s primary influences, we can better anticipate how to communicate successfully. So how do you determine whether your spouse is influenced by feelings or facts? How to Know if Your Spouse is Influenced by Facts People…

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