Should you be included in your spouse’s career? If you feel left out, what should you do? Is there any way you can convince them to let you in?
For individuals with careers, work takes up a significant part of life. Maybe your spouse spends just as much time at work as they do at home, if not more. You might feel like their job practically owns them. If they don’t talk to you about it much, you may be feeling left out.
You Want to Know Your Spouse as a Whole Person
It’s natural to want to be a part of your spouse’s whole life. Understanding their work, their professional relationships, and their expertise helps you know them better. If your spouse holds you at arm’s length when it comes to work, then that’s a part of them you might not know.
We know that feeling cut off from part of your spouse’s life feels painful. It’s natural that you might have questions or feel suspicious. When you talk to your spouse about how you’re feeling, it’s important not to make accusations. Understand that most likely, they’re just overwhelmed at the end of the work day. They may want to leave work at work, and enjoy their time with you at home.
Approach your spouse lovingly and let them know how you’re feeling. You can say something like, “Honey, I want to know all of you. I’m interested in the work you do. I’d love for you to share more with me from time to time.”
If Your Career is All-Consuming, Try Giving the Best of Yourself to Your Spouse
Now, we’re going to turn the tables and speak to the hard-working spouses out there. You’re likely busy, overwhelmed, and exhausted at the end of every day. But your spouse longs to be included in every part of your life. It’s crucial to understand where they’re coming from.
Let’s say one spouse stays home, for instance, and the other works. It’s common for the working spouse to give their best at work and come home exhausted. If you come home from work so depleted you don’t feel like talking to your spouse, that makes your spouse feel shut out of your world. They don’t have any other bridge into your work life other than what you share with them. And if you’re not sharing, your spouse may worry that you’re withholding information.
It’s Important to Truly Share Your Life
When you’re consumed by work, you’ll need to establish some new habits. Work to intentionally share this part of your life with your spouse. Let them in however you can. Make an effort to connect with them each day.
Outside of work responsibilities and everyday life, look for shared activities you can enjoy together, too. And if you need help finding time for one another, take a look at our book, Your Time-Starved Marriage. It’s an essential resource for couples who are pressed for time, but want to make the most of the time they have. Take a look and get your copy here.
How will you share more of your work life with your spouse? Let’s talk about it in the comments.
