“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
Part of being an emotionally and psychologically healthy individual–and thus, having healthier relationships–is overcoming insecurity. Insecurity is a problem that plagues countless people worldwide, and it really hampers our ability to relate well with one another.
Psychological health is largely an inside job, and insecurity is a psychologically unhealthy state to live in. Being psychologically healthy means we’re healthy in our spirit, character, feelings, and thoughts. But when we’re insecure, our thoughts don’t tend to be very healthy.
Today, we’re taking a look at how overcoming insecurity leads to healthier relationships across the board–not just with your spouse, but with family and friends as well. Let’s jump right into it.
Insecure thinking holds us back from our dreams
Insecure thoughts lead us to believe we aren’t enough, and that we are unworthy of pursuing and achieving our dreams. These negative thought patterns cripple us and sabotage our endeavors. They leave us seeking external validation–and always coming up short because no matter what others tell us, we’re still lacking that internal feeling of significance.
Too often, we look to other people to validate us because we don’t think we’re enough. We’re always waiting for the people in our lives to approve of us and tell us we’re doing great. But even when we get those positive words from our loved ones, it’s never enough. How can others’ words be enough when we’re not good enough for ourselves?
Inevitably, we self-sabotage our dreams because we don’t truly believe we can accomplish what we set out to do. But when we overcome insecurity, we’re able to chase our goals full-throttle, and feel the full satisfaction of achieving them.
Insecurity keeps us from reading others accurately
Relationships depend heavily on how we read and interpret others’ body language, facial expressions, actions, and emotions. We call this raising our social barometer.
Not knowing how to read the people around us is like a meteorologist who can’t interpret weather radar. Misreading interactions and misinterpreting intent leads to failed communication, which sabotages good relationships. That’s why priming your social barometer is so important.
We can either approach others by looking for their validation, or by reading them to see how they’re doing. Finding and reading your social barometer can tell us a lot about how the people around us are doing, which strengthens our relationships with them. It helps us relate more effectively to the people around us.
Overcoming insecurity strengthens our bonds with others
When we overcome our insecurities, we’re able to look outward and strengthen our relationships in the process. Here’s how reading our social barometer and breaking out of insecure thought patterns can help us:
Overcoming insecurity can help us stop comparing ourselves to others. Comparison diminishes our personal potential, distracts us from self-improvement, and makes us bitter.
Breaking insecure habits helps us communicate with more confidence. It helps us to speak up when we need to, and overcome the obsessive need to analyze every word before we speak (a habit which tends to silence us).
Overcoming insecurity helps us to take criticism in stride. Criticism can hurt our sense of security if we’re not psychologically healthy. Instead, when we set insecurity aside, we can avoid lashing out when someone offers constructive criticism.
The secret to overcoming insecurity and building healthier relationships…
…lies in becoming healthier individuals, on a psychological, emotional, and spiritual level. If you want to learn more about overcoming insecurity–plus some specific steps for doing so–grab a copy of our brand new book, Healthy Me, Healthy Us. Order yours here.
How has insecurity (or the lack thereof) impacted your marriage? Your other relationships? Let us know in the comments!