Help! My Husband Won’t Go Back to School

By November 4, 2016February 23rd, 2018Careers, Communication, Conflict

Is there any way I can talk my husband into going back to school to further his career? We’re really struggling financially!

Let’s say you’re a few years into marriage, and perhaps your husband’s career prospects aren’t

looking very rosy. Maybe your income isn’t comfortable, or his professional status isn’t what you believe it should be. It’s important that you pause to consider your motivations behind these feelings.

First, remember that you married your husband for his qualities, and that those qualities may now lend themselves to his current career situation. His vocation may be fulfilling for him, whether or not the idea of it is fulfilling for you.

In this video, we discuss conflicts that arise when one spouse is feeling dissatisfied over the other’s choice of career.

Your husband may be content in his work, or he may simply be using his bill-paying job as a means to an end (for example, he might he pursuing his passion on the side).

Some people develop their talents and abilities within the context of a job, but some do not. Some people pursue their passions on the side as they meet their family’s needs with a regular job.

Don’t let your own preferences or vision of who you think your husband should be cloud your love for him. You cannot force him to choose a career field that suits you; the direction his work takes will depend heavily upon who he is, and where his passions lie.

It’s important to work together to build a shared vision of your life as a couple, based on who both of you really are. You fell in love with one another because of who you are–and it’s important to focus on the qualities you love about one another as you navigate all areas of your life, career included. Your life together is bigger than either of your jobs, so work together to build your vision.

What do you think? Have you and your spouse clashed over vocational or career paths? We’d love to hear from you!



  • Vickie says:

    Please address this question in the context of a spouse being unemployed for over a year! My husband went the entire year of 2015 AND 2017 jobless. He refused to go back to school. He has no skills and no college degree. The certs he has are not enough to get him hired. Add to that, I alone support him and his children who are with us full time. He is struggling with mental illness lately as he is a Veteran. We are seeking help from the VA.

  • Jay says:

    Thanks for sharing. I think its best to go marry someone who has same drive as yourself. If you are a go-getter and you marry someone who is comfortable with being average, then you may have issues in the long run.

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