Category

Self Reflection

You’re in a Big Fight: What Do You Do Next?

By Communication, Conflict, Self Reflection One Comment

You’re in the heat of battle. Your spouse has morphed into a nearly unrecognizable person, and you’re running defense in the worst way possible. What started out as a small disagreement has exploded into a full-scale BIG FIGHT. How did it get to this point? More importantly, how are you going to get out of it without causing major damage to your relationship? Hit the brakes. If your fight is spiraling quickly out of control, it’s time to take a breather. It’s up to you how long you take to cool down, but do whatever it takes to stop the…

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My Guilt Alarm is Affecting My Marriage

By Communication, Conflict, Self Reflection No Comments

The littlest things set off my guilt alarm and I know this affects my marriage. Can you help? “I could’ve done this.” “I should’ve done that.” “If I could do it over, I would’ve done this.” How many times have you spoken to yourself this way? Do you ruminate often about things you probably shouldn’t worry about? Do you have a constant wave of regret and second-guessing that leads to an unhealthy self-perception? These thought patterns can easily become addictive and toxic if you allow yourself to settle in them. Did you know that loading yourself down with unreasonable guilt…

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You’re invited to a FREE online marriage event!

By Careers, Communication, Conflict, In-laws & Family, Scripture, Self Reflection, Time 11 Comments

Our newly expanded edition of New York Times bestseller Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts (SYMBIS) hit shelves on Tuesday, October 27, and we are celebrating its release with a one-of-a-kind, exciting event. And the best part? You’re invited! We’re launching a very special, FREE online marriage event: The Lifelong Love Marriage Summit. The summit begins Tuesday, November 3. You’ll hear from 20+ of today’s most engaging Christian influencers, including Shaunti Feldhahn, Donald Miller, Fawn Weaver, Dr. Henry Cloud, Michael Hyatt, and Dave Ramsey. They’ll be sharing their secrets to lifelong love, plus stories of struggle, faith, and hard-won triumph…

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How to Support a Depressed Spouse and Regain a Joyful Relationship

By Communication, Conflict, In-laws & Family, Self Reflection One Comment

I love my husband but he has depression and I’m tired of the ups and downs. Can you help? Depression is one of the most challenging things a couple can experience together. It steals joy and peace from the marriage by robbing one spouse’s happiness and peace of mind. This has a profound effect on the spouse without depression, and often results in tension and unhappiness in the marriage relationship if not dealt with appropriately. Supporting a depressed spouse and coping with his or her condition can be emotionally, mentally, and physically draining. Be sure to prioritize self-care, and do…

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3 Ways the Comparison Trap Can Kill Your Marriage

By Communication, Self Reflection, Time 5 Comments

Comparison is a trap and a dangerous gauge for the health of our lives and relationships. It’s often based on partial truths and unattainable reality. Most of us know this, yet we all do it. And thanks to social media, highlights, and sound bytes flooding our daily moments, we step willingly into the comparison trap early and often in our days. The problem with comparison is that we tend to do it under the influence of extreme emotions or insecurities. A fight with your spouse can simultaneously shout a lie that every other marriage is perfect. Swing to the other…

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FREE Companion Resources When You PRE-ORDER Today

By Communication, Conflict, In-laws & Family, Scripture, Self Reflection, Time No Comments

We’re giving it all away! The ultimate package for a great marriage We are excited to officially announce here on the blog the release of the newly expanded edition of our best-selling book, Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts: Seven Questions to Ask Before–and After–You Marry. This book has sold millions of copies, and the revamped edition hits shelves on October 27. When you pre-order it, you’ll get all the companion resources for free! The pre-order freebies are a collection of relationship products that we’ve put together over the years, and we’re giving them all away! It’s the ultimate package…

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What Every Wife Should Know About Her Husband

By Communication, In-laws & Family, Self Reflection No Comments

The differences between men and women are significant, so much so that those inherent gender-based qualities often cause the greatest tension in a marriage relationship. Knowing the key needs of the opposite sex allows a person to understand his or her spouse better, and therefore operate with more patience and peace. A few weeks ago, we talked about the three things that every husband should know about his wife. Today, we’re examining the flipside: the three things that every wife should know about her husband. No one plays as significant a role in meeting a man’s unique needs as his…

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Please Help Me NOT Marry [a Man Like] My Dad

By In-laws & Family, Self Reflection No Comments

People Say We Marry Someone Like Our Mother/Father. Yikes! How Do I Turn Off That Instinct? It’s said that we are attracted to people like our parents… that a woman will be attracted to a man like her father, and a man to a woman like his mother. Many clients come to us and say, “But, yikes! What if I don’t want that?” In a world where parental relationships are often unhealthy, it’s normal for people to fear marrying a spouse like one of their parents. In this video, we talk about the human tendency to be attracted to people…

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6 Things To Do When Happiness Fades in Your Marriage

By Conflict, Self Reflection 91 Comments

You’ve begun to feel unhappy in your marriage. You and your spouse haven’t been spending time together like you used to. There’s distance between the two of you, and your interactions have cooled. As blissfully happy as you were when you got married, you can’t imagine how you got to this point. This is supposed to be your soulmate, right? So what is going on? Do you even know this person any more? Long before we ever get married, we imagine that once we’re in a marriage with our soulmate, that person will meet our every need. But that’s not…

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5 Tips for Fighting Well With Your Spouse

By Conflict, Self Reflection No Comments

Conflict is such an important part of the marriage relationship, and it’s unavoidable. It is the price we pay for a deeper level of intimacy. Fighting a good fight can bring you closer together as partners–you’ll walk through some troubled times together and come out on the other side, more connected than ever. Here are five tips to help you effectively navigate conflict in your marriage and learn how to fight well. 1. Don’t View Conflict as a Red Flag How often you fight or what you fight about has no correlation to the likelihood of divorce. Frequency of conflict…

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