Category

Conflict

What to Do When Hobbies Steal Your Spouse

By Communication, Conflict, Time 110 Comments

Last week, we talked about the importance of sharing hobbies and activities with your spouse. It’s great when the two of you can find common ground and cultivate shared activities, but what happens when your spouse is completely consumed by his or her own hobbies? While it can make life interesting to be married to someone who is so deeply engaged with an activity they love, it can quickly become difficult. Once the honeymoon period has passed, you might find that your spouse begins to gradually move toward his or her favorite pastime–eventually favoring it over spending time together. There…

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6 Ways Substance Abuse Can Destroy Your Marriage

By Communication, Conflict, Self Reflection 47 Comments

Addiction is an overwhelming illness whose hallmark symptoms are the physiological craving of, and emotional attachment to, a legal or illegal substance or practice. Most often, we see addictions in the form of substances like alcohol, prescription drugs, and illicit drugs. Substance abuse is devastating to marriages, families, and relationships. It can result in career loss, financial ruin, divorce, estrangement, and even death. Today, we’ll focus on six landmines that substance abuse plants in your marriage when you’re struggling with addiction. For all of these issues, we strongly encourage that you and your spouse seek outside professional help. Consult your…

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Infidelity: Does the Root Cause Matter?

By Communication, Conflict 40 Comments

Learning that your spouse has had an affair is a jarring, traumatic emotional experience. For the foreseeable future after the discovery (or your spouse’s confession), you’ll go through a deeply painful mourning period. Everything you believed about your life before this knowledge may be shattered, and you may wonder if you’ll ever be able to trust your spouse again. Picking up the pieces after infidelity is incredibly difficult, but it can be done. The question is, can it be done if your spouse isn’t willing to dig into the why behind his or her actions? Why We Want to Know…

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How to Fight a Good Fight

By Communication, Conflict One Comment

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” – Romans 12:18 Conflict is an unpleasant state to find yourself in, no matter what the situation. But the idea of facing conflict in your marriage can be downright paralyzing, whether you’ve been married for years and have developed bad fighting habits, or you’re newlyweds and disagreements are relatively new territory. The good news is, conflict can actually be good for your marriage. Fighting a good fight has the power to create a deeper level of connection between you and your spouse. If you…

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How to Defuse a BIG Fight

By Conflict 6 Comments

You’re in the heat of battle. Your spouse has morphed into a nearly unrecognizable person, and you’re running defense in the worst way possible. What started out as a small disagreement has exploded into a full-scale BIG FIGHT. How did it get to this point? More importantly, how are you going to get out of it without causing major damage to your relationship? Hit the brakes. If your fight is spiraling quickly out of control, it’s time to take a breather. It’s up to you how long you take to cool down, but do whatever it takes to stop the…

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Help! How Do I Turn Off the Guilt?

By Communication, Conflict No Comments

The smallest things push my “guilt button,” and I know this has a negative effect on my marriage. What should I do? “I could’ve done this.” “I should’ve done that.” “If I could do it over, I would’ve done this.” How many times have you spoken to yourself this way? Do you ruminate often about things you probably shouldn’t worry about? Do you have a constant wave of regret and second-guessing that leads to an unhealthy self-perception? These thought patterns can easily become addictive and toxic if you allow yourself to settle into them. Did you know that loading yourself…

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Chores & Housekeeping: Who Should Do What?

By Communication, Conflict, Time No Comments

I don’t do all the housework in our home, and my husband hates it! How do I tell him I can’t do it all on my own? Today’s busy culture has changed a lot about what life and work looks like. Full-time jobs now look very different than they used to, and both men and women are often stretched to their limit. So what do you do if you want to hire a little extra help around the house–and your husband or wife is totally against the idea? It’s difficult to approach your spouse and acknowledge a personal limitation. And…

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3 Ways to Soothe Your Spouse’s Anxiety

By Communication, Conflict 6 Comments

Anxiety. Most of us have been there: an issue that–to the outside world–seems arguably small balloons into a crushing, suffocating weight. Our hearts race. Our palms sweat. We descend into a spiraling panic, and find that it’s difficult (and even hopeless) to stop the feeling of dread building inside our chests. Most of us know what anxiety feels like when it’s happening to us, but it can be difficult to know how to help someone we love when they are being riddled with it. It’s easy to feel at a loss, not knowing what to do or say. Can’t they…

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Help! My Husband Won’t Go Back to School

By Careers, Communication, Conflict 2 Comments

Is there any way I can talk my husband into going back to school to further his career? We’re really struggling financially! Let’s say you’re a few years into marriage, and perhaps your husband’s career prospects aren’t looking very rosy. Maybe your income isn’t comfortable, or his professional status isn’t what you believe it should be. It’s important that you pause to consider your motivations behind these feelings. First, remember that you married your husband for his qualities, and that those qualities may now lend themselves to his current career situation. His vocation may be fulfilling for him, whether or…

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Broken Trust? Here’s How to Rebuild.

By Communication, Conflict, In-laws & Family 17 Comments

When trust has been damaged or destroyed in a marriage, the rebuilding process takes a huge amount of patience, skill, and–above all–time. After your very foundation has been shaken, restoring trust in your marriage is literally a relationship makeover. You and your spouse must work together over time to rebuild the trust you lost, and both of you have a lot of work to do to get there. But with determination and an absolute commitment to restoration, your marriage can be healthy again. You might not realize it now, but if you’ve been betrayed by your spouse, you can begin…

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