Category

Conflict

Jul 05
Love20

For Better or For Worse: Dealing With Tough Times in Marriage

By Communication, Conflict 33 Comments

“More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.” – Anonymous If you and your spouse know how to navigate the tough times in your marriage, you’ll come out on the other side closer than ever before. Hard times and conflict are inevitable–they’re just a part of life. When you overcome those times together, that can really deepen your sense of partnership. Whether you’re dealing with internal conflicts (disagreement or stalemate, infidelity, health crises, mental illness, etc.) or external conflicts (loss, tragedy, job stress or loss, family or in-law issues, etc.), you’re going…

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Jun 21
Love81

It’s Not Me, It’s You: Why Criticism Poisons Happy Marriages

By Communication, Conflict 241 Comments

“People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.” – Gary Chapman Criticism is an insidious behavior that comes into our marriage and eats at the core of our identity. Few things will shut down intimacy quite like being criticized or controlled, and it is capable of immobilizing your emotional health and personal growth, especially within your relationship. Nobody enjoys being criticized or picked apart, but it’s especially painful when your spouse–your soul mate–is the one being critical and hurtful to you. It’s demoralizing to be treated this way when…

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Jun 14
Love22

3 Reasons Radical Forgiveness is a Must in Marriage

By Communication, Conflict 10 Comments

It has been said that marriage is the combination of two very good forgivers. We have found this to be true in our own marriage–many times over! And we’ve observed countless successful relationships that were made up of good forgivers, as well. When you’re in such a close relationship with another human being, it’s inevitable that you’re going to step on each other’s toes. That’s just part of life. The trick is being able to offer forgiveness to one another in a genuine, meaningful way, so that when those times come, you’ll be ready to face them head-on. But What…

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Apr 19
Love16

Dicey Dealings: How to Handle Invasive In-Laws

By Communication, Conflict, In-laws & Family 24 Comments

One of the most difficult situations married couples face is dealing with invasive or controlling in-laws. Maybe they’re critical, nosy, or they monopolize your (or your spouse’s) time. Perhaps they don’t think you can take care of their “baby” as well as they did. Whatever the case, these situations can get dicey in a hurry. In today’s blog post, we’re going to focus on how to deal with invasive in-laws who are making your life as a couple harder than it should be. Have a Heart-to-Heart…With Your Spouse Is your mother-in-law rifling through your things when you’re not home? Has…

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Mar 29
Love34

What to Do When Hobbies Steal Your Spouse

By Communication, Conflict, Time 108 Comments

Last week, we talked about the importance of sharing hobbies and activities with your spouse. It’s great when the two of you can find common ground and cultivate shared activities, but what happens when your spouse is completely consumed by his or her own hobbies? While it can make life interesting to be married to someone who is so deeply engaged with an activity they love, it can quickly become difficult. Once the honeymoon period has passed, you might find that your spouse begins to gradually move toward his or her favorite pastime–eventually favoring it over spending time together. There…

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Mar 15
Love28

6 Ways Substance Abuse Can Destroy Your Marriage

By Communication, Conflict, Self Reflection 47 Comments

Addiction is an overwhelming illness whose hallmark symptoms are the physiological craving of, and emotional attachment to, a legal or illegal substance or practice. Most often, we see addictions in the form of substances like alcohol, prescription drugs, and illicit drugs. Substance abuse is devastating to marriages, families, and relationships. It can result in career loss, financial ruin, divorce, estrangement, and even death. Today, we’ll focus on six landmines that substance abuse plants in your marriage when you’re struggling with addiction. For all of these issues, we strongly encourage that you and your spouse seek outside professional help. Consult your…

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Mar 01
Love21

Infidelity: Does the Root Cause Matter?

By Communication, Conflict 40 Comments

Learning that your spouse has had an affair is a jarring, traumatic emotional experience. For the foreseeable future after the discovery (or your spouse’s confession), you’ll go through a deeply painful mourning period. Everything you believed about your life before this knowledge may be shattered, and you may wonder if you’ll ever be able to trust your spouse again. Picking up the pieces after infidelity is incredibly difficult, but it can be done. The question is, can it be done if your spouse isn’t willing to dig into the why behind his or her actions? Why We Want to Know…

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Feb 08
Love24

How to Fight a Good Fight

By Communication, Conflict One Comment

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” – Romans 12:18 Conflict is an unpleasant state to find yourself in, no matter what the situation. But the idea of facing conflict in your marriage can be downright paralyzing, whether you’ve been married for years and have developed bad fighting habits, or you’re newlyweds and disagreements are relatively new territory. The good news is, conflict can actually be good for your marriage. Fighting a good fight has the power to create a deeper level of connection between you and your spouse. If you…

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Nov 23
Love30

How to Defuse a BIG Fight

By Conflict 6 Comments

You’re in the heat of battle. Your spouse has morphed into a nearly unrecognizable person, and you’re running defense in the worst way possible. What started out as a small disagreement has exploded into a full-scale BIG FIGHT. How did it get to this point? More importantly, how are you going to get out of it without causing major damage to your relationship? Hit the brakes. If your fight is spiraling quickly out of control, it’s time to take a breather. It’s up to you how long you take to cool down, but do whatever it takes to stop the…

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Nov 18
Love22

Help! How Do I Turn Off the Guilt?

By Communication, Conflict No Comments

The smallest things push my “guilt button,” and I know this has a negative effect on my marriage. What should I do? “I could’ve done this.” “I should’ve done that.” “If I could do it over, I would’ve done this.” How many times have you spoken to yourself this way? Do you ruminate often about things you probably shouldn’t worry about? Do you have a constant wave of regret and second-guessing that leads to an unhealthy self-perception? These thought patterns can easily become addictive and toxic if you allow yourself to settle into them. Did you know that loading yourself…

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