7 Secrets to a Peaceful, Fun Engagement

Engagement can be a roller coaster of emotions, both good and bad. Suddenly, you and your fiance have gone from being a carefree dating couple to planning a wedding. Often, wedding planning comes with a fair amount of stress, even though it can also be fun. And let’s not forget family pressures that crop up.

Being engaged is a season that’s all about building anticipation for your upcoming wedding and the future you’re planning together. Today, we’re talking about seven secrets to keeping your engagement peaceful and fun.

1. Remember why you’re here.

If you’re in the midst of planning your wedding, there will be times when you need to pause and remember why you’re here. The bottom line is this: you’re engaged because you’re in love. Throughout your engagement, your love for one another should be front and center. If you keep your priorities in perspective and remember why you’re engaged in the first place, you’ll enjoy the season so much more.

2. Don’t get wrapped up in drama.

Sometimes, engagement triggers family drama. The good news is, you and your fiance don’t have to feed into it–or participate in it at all. In fact, avoid drama like the plague; all it can really do is hurt your bond and take away the fun of this season.

Here are some ways you can avoid engagement drama:

  • Don’t respond immediately to requests or statements that upset you
  • Keep your decisions and plans between the two of you until you’re ready to reveal them
  • Set boundaries for family members or friends who make unreasonable demands or try to commandeer your plans
  • Make a game plan with your fiance on how you’re going to constructively handle difficult situations

Remember, this time is meant to be enjoyable for you–so don’t let anyone make it miserable.

3. Put one another first.

Throughout your relationship, one important rule holds true: put one another first. After God, your spouse should be the first person you consider in all things. If you’re engaged to be married, it’s past time to think of your fiance in this way.

So, when you’re worried about someone else’s feelings surrounding your wedding plans–a parent, grandparent, aunt, cousin, sibling, or even friend–consider your fiance first. When you’re not worried about keeping everyone else happy, you can focus on one another and make the best decisions for you.

4. Make choices that make the two of you happy.

While family is important–and you want to show them love and honor–that doesn’t mean every detail of your wedding must be catered to them. First and foremost, put your heads together when planning the festivities. Then, figure out where you can weave in details to honor your family and friends. This day is about the two of you, so make sure it represents your love and your relationship the way you want it to.

5. Keep the big picture in perspective.

Engagement is a fun season, but it’s just that: a season. As you make your plans, keep the big picture in perspective. Marriage is about building an entire future together, not just a wedding, reception, and honeymoon. Don’t allow yourselves to get so consumed by planning a party that you lose sight of the life you want to plan.

Make time to talk with one another about the future beyond your wedding. What are your dreams and goals? What experiences do you want to have together? Take a little time away from wedding talk and dig into the life you want to build.

6. Remember, you’re not rivals.

Any time you disagree with one another on your wedding details, take a step back and remind yourselves that you’re on the same team. Disagreements about decor, food, music, and other details are fleeting–they likely won’t matter in a year, or even a few days, for that matter. But the way you treat one another lasts long-term…so it’s important not to become at odds with one another during this time.

7. Enjoy the journey.

We can’t emphasize this enough: enjoy the season you’re in! It will be over before you know it, and you will have moved on to the next phase of life. Have fun, and focus on creating memories you can enjoy for years to come.

Bonus: Take the SYMBIS Assessment

To get to know one another better, take a little time to take the Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts (SYMBIS) Assessment. This ultra-personalized assessment will give you and your fiance insights into:

  • Your deepest longings
  • Your fight types
  • Your love life
  • Your money methods
  • Your personalities
  • Your talk styles

In addition to the assessment, we offer companion books and workbooks. Connect with our network of SYMBIS Facilitators to get started today!

Are you engaged right now? How are you and your fiance working to enjoy this time? Let us know in the comments! (And for those already married, we’d love to know how you took the time to truly enjoy your engagement, too.)

One Comment

  • Daniel says:

    Whatever said and done, at the end of the day, it is important to keep the big picture in perspective. That is perhaps the best ‘secret’ of all the 7 secrets in your article, Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott! You have also cleverly reminded couples not to get drawn into the drama! That can save one from so many unwanted hassles and headaches!

Leave a Reply