“Gratitude can transform common days into Thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” – Les Parrott
Showing gratitude to your spouse is an important daily practice; it’s essential to nurturing a healthy marriage. There are many ways to express your thanks to your husband or wife, so today, we’re sharing 10 ideas for showing him or her your appreciation.
1. Say it out loud…and more often!
Intentionally saying thank you to your spouse more often is the simplest, most obvious way to show him or her your gratitude. It can be easy to neglect to thank your spouse for everyday tasks that may seem mundane. But you’ll find that your gratitude can transform your spouse’s view of these tasks, especially if he or she has been feeling bogged down. It doesn’t take much effort, but those two simple words go a long way.
2. Write a thoughtful card, note, or letter.
Write a sweet note of thanks to your spouse and hide it where they can easily find it: in their lunchbox, on the dashboard of their car, on the bathroom mirror, or someplace similar. It’s amazing how a little note like that can brighten someone’s day. Even scribbling a message onto a sticky note can make all their daily efforts feel more worthwhile.
3. Give your spouse a break.
A few hours of quiet time might very well be #1 on your spouse’s wish list, especially if he or she is overworked or caring for young children. Or they might just want a break from their regular tasks. Whatever the case, give him or her the opportunity to get that needed time, whether it means several hours to curl up with a book, or you taking over their chores for the day. (If you have children, take care of finding child care or keep the kids yourself.)
4. Cook a special dinner.
Does your spouse have a favorite meal they love, or a recipe they’ve been dying to try? You do whip up a dish every once in awhile that brings back happy memories for you both? Set aside a little time to prepare a home-cooked meal just for him or her. Light some candles, play some music, and dine-in together at home.
5. Praise him or her to your kids, then get them in on the act.
Being outspoken to (and in front of) your children regarding your gratitude toward your spouse will rub off on them! Take the time to deliberately tell your kids about all the great things your husband or wife does for the family, and encourage them to say thank you to their other parent as well. You can even go a step further and suggest that the kids create hand-made artwork to thank their mom or dad, or that they even help out with the chores to take the load off your spouse. Cultivating this gratitude in your children will resonate throughout your entire immediate family.
6. Tell the world what your spouse does for you.
Go a little further than the four walls of your house and let other know, as often as possible, how grateful you are for your husband or wife. Verbalize it among extended family, friends, or at church. Put your social media account to good use and let it be known that you are thankful for everything your spouse does for you and your family.
7. Behave in a grateful way.
Saying “thank you,” giving gifts, and telling others isn’t quite enough; you have to behave in a grateful way toward your spouse. Make an effort to notice what they do and to respect the work they’re putting in for you, on whatever front–whether they’re running a business, running the household, or a combination of both. Don’t take him or her for granted. Be conscientious and thoughtful, and take care to make sure that you’re not undermining or undoing their efforts in any way.
8. Take your spouse on a romantic date.
A nice date is a great way to say thank you to your husband or wife for everything they do for you. Choose their favorite restaurant, a movie they’ve been dying to see, grab coffee, take a nature hike, or stop by their favorite bookstore or library. Make that time all about your spouse.
9. Give a “just because” gift.
Sometimes, a gratitude gift is in order. Purchase something your spouse would like to have but might not be willing to buy for themselves, then attach a little note of thanks before you gift it. Maybe your husband has been admiring a watch or set of cufflinks, or maybe your wife has had her eye on a novel or a movie she hasn’t bought for herself. This could be the perfect opportunity to splurge for him or her.
10. Strive to offer more than you take.
Successful marriages are all about servanthood. Another way to show your gratitude is to avoid existing only as a “taker.” Give, give, give–your spouse is giving to you, so make sure you not only reciprocate, but go above and beyond to give back. And when you give, take care to do it selflessly, without expecting anything in return.
Do you and your spouse strive to show gratitude toward one another? Have ideas we didn’t list here? We’d love to hear from you in the comments section!
My husband often thanks me for a meal I’ve cooked and then shows gratitude by clearing the table off. Usually while I finish eating, since I am slower at it than he and my father-in-law and step-son. In fact, it feels even better that he says and does this in front of others.
I make sure to thank him for doing the heavy lifting part of our evening chores on the farm and admire his strength, in step-son’s hearing.
It is amazing how 2 words, “Thank you,” can make such a blessing out of any task done for your spouse!
Thank you for that article.
We just have 2 years wedding anniversary coming,over 3 1/2 years together at the moment counselling.
We have 22 months old daughter.
I will keep trying.
Jenny hope you still thriving.
I think this is great. Be careful with #6. If we post things on social media, it needs to match what we’d displaying at home. Otherwise, your spouse will see it as trying to make people think you’re a great spouse when they are living a different reality. Always begin your compliments and acts of gratitude at home, they the social media thing can be an added bonus.
we’re, not we’d
You’re on the right track. Nothing is worse than feeling like you’re living with someone different than what they portray to other people. Who is the real person? The one you live with or the one others see? It’s disconcerting at best.
You’re quite accurate in your viewpoint….my wife lives to please everyone else. all too often at the expense of my emotional happiness.
Others don’t know the real her. Of course I want her to be happy and feel loved but don’t believe I’ll ever live upon to her standards of expectations.
You are totally right. Be careful with social media. We see people posting a lot about how great their life is together but all of a sudden you find out they broke up or had a divorce. Some people try to use social media to fix their problems or make an effort to save a relationship but the result could be even worse. Don’t post anything unless you’re absolutely living that reality. Honestly I’d prefer to keep personal feelings or things out of social media. After all, social media didn’t exist a few years ago.
I feel the same way about keeping personal feelings out of social media. I can be a rather private, shy person, so I’d prefer to tell HIM how I feel, or put it in a note or card…
This is so good for married couples to know, because if you don’t do it, guess what there are women / men out there that are waiting for the chance to do it for you. Keep your marriage strong. I have learn that it’s the small things that can break or make a marriage.
Why did I expect to see a comment like that? Single women should leave married or men in relationships alone. Just saying!
Thank you for sharing. This is a great post for married couples and those genuinely looking to be married. It is difficult with comments as such “because if you don’t do it, guess what there are women / men out there that are waiting for the chance to do it for you,” are posted by single women such as yourself seeking opportunity to be the adulteress woman and biting at first bit to destroy any marriage. Marriage is a beautiful blessing and with any relationship it takes hard work and commitment,
Love it Well said Gen.
These are some creative tips. Thanks for sharing
I agree single women should leave you married me so long that’s one thing it is a break up a marriage and another thing it’s hard to forgive a man once you step out there is another I’ll send you a woman especially when you say he love both of us
This is how my husband wrote to our daughters about me .
I am more than blessed to have a caring , lovely, candid husband.
we are happily married for the last 39 years.
Hi, my dear daughters,
I certainly think of Amma as an
Allow me to list some of the several ways in which her many accomplishments manifest themselves.
1) In her kitchen (in the culinary department), she takes great pleasure in enthusiastically and tirelessly preparing all kinds of South and North Indian dishes 🌶🌽🍆🍽
2) She has been performing
Vratha- and Katha- based ‘Poojes’ and ‘Punaskaaras’ throughout every year since 1980 upholding and cherishing the family tradition.🔯 🕉
3) She shows due concern for her loved ones. Of course, she loves her family unconditionally.🎎👪
4) She constantly broods for the good of her family.
5) Her dexterity in housekeeping has to be seen to be admired.
6) She maintains punctuality📆 and appreciates accountability.🔢
7) She delegates📣 housekeeping chores by calling a spade a spade..
8) Amma is never lethargic😴 at any time.♀
9) Keeps herself physically fit🏸🏀 at all times, which makes her smart and attractive at the same time.🥏
10) She is meticulously dress conscious. ⚕👘👜
11) I have never seen her being overly greedy or unduly ambitious
12) Most of the time she maintains
her mental balance⚖ by being a stoic.
13) Is an ardent lover of light and classical music.🎶🎵🎸
14) Shows eagerness, curiosity and interest to be in the race by keeping abreast of the latest technological changes 📲📠🏧
15) Has a keen interest in gardening within the available space.🌴🌿🍁
16) Displays love and compassion towards cows and pigeons.🐦🕊
(thanks to Pranathi!!)
17) Maintains a good rapport with neighbourly juniours and seniors. 👸👳🦰
18) Is an “aadarsha” wife/ mother/daughter-in-law/mother-in-law/sibling/relative/friend – ALL AT THE SAME TIME.👌
19) Having said all this, if at all she possesses any negatives,
her outnumbered positives eclipse them.🌔
20) Last but not the least, my humble, countless thanks to my respectful🙏dearest parents-in-law ,
to have presented me this everlasting garland of precious gem💎 on the 2nd of May1980.
I am happy to know that, both of you have already emulated her ethos by now and partnered with me
with my dearest sons-in-law .
On the lighter side, she feels proud for not having even a single strand of grey hair in her plait. ☃
P S :- This is not a comprehensive list of all her best qualities but only the tip of the iceberg.
I am privileged, happy and lucky for having been the life partner of such a great woman.
Your loving ,
What a loving husband you have!!!
It’s great to see how much he values and appreciates all the things you do for him and your family! 💕
When I grow up I want to be like Amma!
I totally agree with you when you said that showing gratitude to your spouse is an important daily practice. My wife’s birthday is coming and she told me that she would like to spend time with me. It would be great to take her to a fine restaurant to thank her for being with me and celebrate her b birthday as well.
I like how you said that sometimes, a gratitude gift is in order. My wife is my favorite person in the world and she deserves the best. As a matter of fact, I will look for a gift to thank her for being next to me.
The fact that people need to be reminded of a spouses birthday bothers me. I was married to someone like this 20+yrs, we all knew when his birthday was, party, dinner, gift, same with all Christmas and holidays,but when it came to anyone else including children, it was hurry and open your gift so I can see what ( your mother) I bought you, no part taking of any kind, no thought or input, so long as it all looked good to others. These memorable days do not change year to year,so to me your just lazy and only think of yourself at that point, it was a very narcissistic attitude. I would never stay in a relationship like that again. All you do is work your life away, for the sake of another without thanks, gratitude , you have no value what so ever. The times you do point it out, your the mean bad person. Life is too short, move along, better to be alone than with someone like this. I also worked 40+ hrs a week. No effort except where finances are made, is a big warning sign.
I have been looking for this Gratitude article since long time. Thanks author.
I learn a lot from reading your article. and I am so thankful for sharing your wonderful page. The best and most delightful things in this world can’t be seen or even heard however should be felt with the heart.
Please check out my page on The Importance of Expressing Your Love
I’ve been looking for articles about this. My husband says thank you for this or that, but it seems so rudimentary. I give him intensive pedicures due to his medical foot condition. He says thank you. That’s it. I don’t feel any gratitude coming from here. It hurts. By the way the vast majority of all the articles end up telling women how to show their men gratitude.
complete agree. who’s actually behind all theses corporate medias.
Well…IDK about the “telling the world what he or she does for you.” I think that is inviting unexpected and unnecessary scrutiny. ENVY and jealousy spring eternal, not to mention bitterness. Also, I’m not so sure a number of men would like their wives to broadcast their lives across social media despite good intentions.
I would just like to take the time to say that, apart from this article being absolutely what I needed and extremely helpful, you have avoided making it stereotypical in terms of gender roles, which is so refreshing (even down to the examples of gifts)! I really appreciate the effort you took to make this article appeal to both genders and appropriate for all types of families. Thank you!
Very thoughtful thanks
Great Article!! What if one partner hesitates for physical intimacy?