10 Ways to Show Gratitude to Your Spouse

By May 24, 2017 February 20th, 2018 Communication

“Gratitude can transform common days into Thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” – Les Parrott

Showing gratitude to your spouse is an important daily practice; it’s essential to nurturing a healthy marriage. There are many ways to express your thanks to your husband or wife, so today, we’re sharing 10 ideas for showing him or her your appreciation.

1.  Say it out loud…and more often!

Intentionally saying thank you to your spouse more often is the simplest, most obvious way to show him or her your gratitude. It can be easy to neglect to thank your spouse for everyday tasks that may seem mundane. But you’ll find that your gratitude can transform your spouse’s view of these tasks, especially if he or she has been feeling bogged down. It doesn’t take much effort, but those two simple words go a long way.

2. Write a thoughtful card, note, or letter.

Write a sweet note of thanks to your spouse and hide it where they can easily find it: in their lunchbox, on the dashboard of their car, on the bathroom mirror, or someplace similar. It’s amazing how a little note like that can brighten someone’s day. Even scribbling a message onto a sticky note can make all their daily efforts feel more worthwhile.

3. Give your spouse a break.

A few hours of quiet time might very well be #1 on your spouse’s wish list, especially if he or she is overworked or caring for young children. Or they might just want a break from their regular tasks. Whatever the case, give him or her the opportunity to get that needed time, whether it means several hours to curl up with a book, or you taking over their chores for the day. (If you have children, take care of finding child care or keep the kids yourself.)

4. Cook a special dinner.

Does your spouse have a favorite meal they love, or a recipe they’ve been dying to try? You do whip up a dish every once in awhile that brings back happy memories for you both? Set aside a little time to prepare a home-cooked meal just for him or her. Light some candles, play some music, and dine-in together at home.

5. Praise him or her to your kids, then get them in on the act.

Being outspoken to (and in front of) your children regarding your gratitude toward your spouse will rub off on them! Take the time to deliberately tell your kids about all the great things your husband or wife does for the family, and encourage them to say thank you to their other parent as well. You can even go a step further and suggest that the kids create hand-made artwork to thank their mom or dad, or that they even help out with the chores to take the load off your spouse. Cultivating this gratitude in your children will resonate throughout your entire immediate family.

6. Tell the world what your spouse does for you.

Go a little further than the four walls of your house and let other know, as often as possible, how grateful you are for your husband or wife. Verbalize it among extended family, friends, or at church. Put your social media account to good use and let it be known that you are thankful for everything your spouse does for you and your family.

7. Behave in a grateful way.

Saying “thank you,” giving gifts, and telling others isn’t quite enough; you have to behave in a grateful way toward your spouse. Make an effort to notice what they do and to respect the work they’re putting in for you, on whatever front–whether they’re running a business, running the household, or a combination of both. Don’t take him or her for granted. Be conscientious and thoughtful, and take care to make sure that you’re not undermining or undoing their efforts in any way.

8. Take your spouse on a romantic date.

A nice date is a great way to say thank you to your husband or wife for everything they do for you. Choose their favorite restaurant, a movie they’ve been dying to see, grab coffee, take a nature hike, or stop by their favorite bookstore or library. Make that time all about your spouse.

9. Give a “just because” gift.

Sometimes, a gratitude gift is in order. Purchase something your spouse would like to have but might not be willing to buy for themselves, then attach a little note of thanks before you gift it. Maybe your husband has been admiring a watch or set of cufflinks, or maybe your wife has had her eye on a novel or a movie she hasn’t bought for herself. This could be the perfect opportunity to splurge for him or her.

10. Strive to offer more than you take.

Successful marriages are all about servanthood. Another way to show your gratitude is to avoid existing only as a “taker.” Give, give, give–your spouse is giving to you, so make sure you not only reciprocate, but go above and beyond to give back. And when you give, take care to do it selflessly, without expecting anything in return.

Do you and your spouse strive to show gratitude toward one another? Have ideas we didn’t list here? We’d love to hear from you in the comments section!

12 Comments

  • Jenn says:

    My husband often thanks me for a meal I’ve cooked and then shows gratitude by clearing the table off. Usually while I finish eating, since I am slower at it than he and my father-in-law and step-son. In fact, it feels even better that he says and does this in front of others.
    I make sure to thank him for doing the heavy lifting part of our evening chores on the farm and admire his strength, in step-son’s hearing.
    It is amazing how 2 words, “Thank you,” can make such a blessing out of any task done for your spouse!

  • Kevin Kilgore says:

    I think this is great. Be careful with #6. If we post things on social media, it needs to match what we’d displaying at home. Otherwise, your spouse will see it as trying to make people think you’re a great spouse when they are living a different reality. Always begin your compliments and acts of gratitude at home, they the social media thing can be an added bonus.

    • Kevin Kilgore says:

      we’re, not we’d

    • Cae says:

      You’re on the right track. Nothing is worse than feeling like you’re living with someone different than what they portray to other people. Who is the real person? The one you live with or the one others see? It’s disconcerting at best.

    • Adolf says:

      You are totally right. Be careful with social media. We see people posting a lot about how great their life is together but all of a sudden you find out they broke up or had a divorce. Some people try to use social media to fix their problems or make an effort to save a relationship but the result could be even worse. Don’t post anything unless you’re absolutely living that reality. Honestly I’d prefer to keep personal feelings or things out of social media. After all, social media didn’t exist a few years ago.

      • Angela Williams says:

        I feel the same way about keeping personal feelings out of social media. I can be a rather private, shy person, so I’d prefer to tell HIM how I feel, or put it in a note or card…

  • Single women says:

    This is so good for married couples to know, because if you don’t do it, guess what there are women / men out there that are waiting for the chance to do it for you. Keep your marriage strong. I have learn that it’s the small things that can break or make a marriage.

    • Diana Liborio says:

      Why did I expect to see a comment like that? Single women should leave married or men in relationships alone. Just saying!

  • […] the things you appreciate about your spouse. Make them feel as loved as possible during their final months. Go to their favorite places. […]

  • Jay says:

    These are some creative tips. Thanks for sharing

  • Cookie says:

    I agree single women should leave you married me so long that’s one thing it is a break up a marriage and another thing it’s hard to forgive a man once you step out there is another I’ll send you a woman especially when you say he love both of us

  • Rekha prasad says:

    This is how my husband wrote to our daughters about me .
    I am more than blessed to have a caring , lovely, candid husband.
    we are happily married for the last 39 years.

    Hi, my dear daughters,

    I certainly think of Amma as an
    all-rounder.

    Allow me to list some of the several ways in which her many accomplishments manifest themselves.

    1) In her kitchen (in the culinary department), she takes great pleasure in enthusiastically and tirelessly preparing all kinds of South and North Indian dishes 🌶🌽🍆🍽

    2) She has been performing
    Vratha- and Katha- based ‘Poojes’ and ‘Punaskaaras’ throughout every year since 1980 upholding and cherishing the family tradition.🔯 🕉

    3) She shows due concern for her loved ones. Of course, she loves her family unconditionally.🎎👪

    4) She constantly broods for the good of her family.

    5) Her dexterity in housekeeping has to be seen to be admired.

    6) She maintains punctuality📆 and appreciates accountability.🔢

    7) She delegates📣 housekeeping chores by calling a spade a spade..

    8) Amma is never lethargic😴 at any time.♀

    9) Keeps herself physically fit🏸🏀 at all times, which makes her smart and attractive at the same time.🥏

    10) She is meticulously dress conscious. ⚕👘👜

    11) I have never seen her being overly greedy or unduly ambitious

    12) Most of the time she maintains
    her mental balance⚖ by being a stoic.

    13) Is an ardent lover of light and classical music.🎶🎵🎸

    14) Shows eagerness, curiosity and interest to be in the race by keeping abreast of the latest technological changes 📲📠🏧

    15) Has a keen interest in gardening within the available space.🌴🌿🍁

    16) Displays love and compassion towards cows and pigeons.🐦🕊
    (thanks to Pranathi!!)

    17) Maintains a good rapport with neighbourly juniours and seniors.  👸👳🦰

    18) Is an “aadarsha” wife/ mother/daughter-in-law/mother-in-law/sibling/relative/friend – ALL AT THE SAME TIME.👌

    19) Having said all this, if at all she possesses any negatives,
    her outnumbered positives eclipse them.🌔

    20) Last but not the least, my humble, countless thanks to my respectful🙏dearest parents-in-law ,
    to have presented me this everlasting garland of precious gem💎 on the 2nd of May1980.

    I am happy to know that, both of you have already emulated her ethos by now and partnered with me
    with my dearest sons-in-law .

    On the lighter side, she feels proud for not having even a single strand of grey hair in her plait. ☃

    P S :-  This is not a comprehensive list of all her best qualities but only the tip of the iceberg.

    I am privileged, happy and lucky for having been the life partner of such a great woman.

    Your loving ,
    Daddy.

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