Killing the Competition Monster

Why do women who have nothing to gain compete with each other?

It’s an unfortunate reality that competition is one of the most negative aspects in the lives of women. The culture of competition shatters self-confidence, distances relationships, and breeds bitterness. An insecure, immature, competitive nature does not look good on any of us.

In my (Leslie) experience, competition is almost exclusively driven by insecurity. Looking at other women’s lives, appearances, jobs, etc., is a quick (but very inaccurate) way to measure one’s worth. Women who compete are constantly asking themselves, “Am I good enough?” And the only way they know how to answer that question is to compare themselves to others.

In today’s video, I’ll discuss the competition monster and some of the “whys” behind this nasty habit of ours.

Comparison and competition serve to temporarily relieve nagging anxiety when it rears its head. People who compete will often critique the life of someone that they deem “not good enough,” in order to convince themselves that they’re OK. They cover the symptoms of a much deeper problem by turning a bitter, envious focus toward other people.

It’s distancing, unpleasant, and unfair to be in a relationship with someone who is competitive–friendship, family relationship, marriage, or otherwise. If you find that the competition monster has taken over your life, work diligently to eliminate your tendency to compare yourself to others.

Dig into God’s word and let Him tell you who you are, and what you are worth. Measure yourself by who you are–not by what you do, your physical appearance, or the things you possess. Build resilience and grow your own character, and you’ll find that you won’t have to use competition as a crutch or as a quick fix for a case of low self-worth.

What role has competition played in your life? Have you been competitive, or in relationship with someone who was? How did you overcome it? We’d love to hear from you in the comments section.


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