Tuning Out: Having Sex With Kids at Home

My wife will not have sex if our grade-school age children are at home. Is that normal?

So you’re a husband who’s feeling a little frustrated–and with good reason! Women are so in tune with their environment, and especially with the people and things they feel responsible for, that it can sometimes create issues in the bedroom.

Seemingly small annoyances like sounds in the house, cracks in the door or blinds, or the sound of your kids playing in the other room can wreak havoc on a woman’s ability to focus on sex. Men seem to have less of a problem tuning these elements out. This is a research-proven biological difference between men’s and women’s brains.

When you have young kids, they’re usually going to be in the house 100% of the time–so avoiding sex altogether is an unrealistic non-solution to your problem. In today’s video, we’re discussing creative solutions for making sex happen, even when you have kids living at home.

Husbands, the most important thing for you to do for your wife is to empathize with her. Understand that her biological makeup compels her to not be relaxed when the children are around. Build practical things into your life that will help her be able to learn to relax.

If you don’t already have a lock on the bedroom door, get one. Put a stereo in the bedroom to drown out some of those distracting outside sounds (and create a romantic mood in the bedroom). Help to arrange an occasional overnight getaway for the kids.

Do everything in your power to help your wife to focus on being in the moment, rather than staying in a state of high-stress about her responsibilities. Don’t give up; things don’t have to be this way! With a lot of love, understanding, and humor, you’ll thrive in this season.

How did you handle (or how are you handling) the child-rearing season of your marriage? We’d love to hear from you in the comments!