Is it wrong to pursue a friendship with an ex-boyfriend after being married for 7 years?
What would you do if an old flame suddenly reappeared in your life–and you’re married to someone else? Should you reconnect and establish a friendship, or should you run?
The re-entry of an ex-boyfriend or ex-girfriend into your life can stir up old feelings that you have long left behind…feelings that could be very dangerous to your marriage and family. So how do you decide what to do about that friend request you haven’t yet responded to?
In today’s video, I (Leslie) discuss the sensitive issue of deciding whether to let an ex be a part of your married life now.
First, you have to assess whether this re-connection would be healthy for you, your spouse, and your marriage. The human heart is naturally nostalgic; past attachments can evoke the old feelings you had for that person, and rekindling those emotions can wreak havoc on your marriage.
There are several questions you can ask yourself to determine whether it’s healthy to let this person back into your life. Do you feel comfortable making this friendship part of your married life? Can your ex be friends with both you and your spouse? Is opening communication with your ex a wise thing to do?
If you feel like you have to keep your relationship with an ex separate from your life with your husband or wife, that’s a huge red flag. While there’s nothing wrong with having fond memories of the past and the time you spent with that person, it may not be a good idea to invite them into your current life.
In other words, if the past endangers your present, leave it where it belongs: in the past.
Have you and your spouse allowed an ex to become a friend since you married? How has that affected your relationship? We’d love to hear from you in the comments.