All Posts By

Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott

Mar 14
Love70

5 Ways to Cope with a Passive-Aggressive Spouse

By Communication, Conflict, Self Reflection 354 Comments

Passive aggression is a common behavior pattern that arises in all kinds of relationships. It’s always harmful, but in marriages, it’s especially painful. Passive-aggressive behavior can be a simple as a dishonest, “I’m fine,” followed by a period of pouting and unpleasant behavior (slamming cabinets and drawers, angrily manhandling items around the house, giving you the silent treatment, etc.). Or it can go as deep as deliberate sabotage between spouses. Luckily, these harmful patterns can be overcome with observation, self-examination, and the willingness to get help. And if you think your spouse might be passive-aggressive, there are ways to cope…

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Mar 07
Love28

Dealing With Resentment in Your Marriage

By Communication, Conflict 128 Comments

One of the most difficult issues to face in your marriage is the realization that one of you resents the other. This can be a devastating revelation, but it doesn’t mean you can’t overcome these intimacy-killing emotions. Resentment tends to arise in marriage when one spouse is either knowingly or unknowingly taking advantage of the other–or taking the other for granted. Habitual poor behaviors or unhealthy patterns feed resentment. Some common issues that cause resentment between spouses include: Habitual selfish behaviors Being “married” to a job Favoring one of your children over the other(s) Spending too much time with one…

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Feb 28
Love17

4 Things to Do When Your Spouse Self-Sabotages

By Communication, Conflict, Self Reflection 9 Comments

Whether your spouse is pursuing a career promotion, a job change, or a personal goal, it’s incredibly painful to watch them set themselves up for failure. We want to help, so we throw ourselves into offering advice and assistance…only to realize we can’t change the situation. While we all self-sabotage at one time or another, some individuals seem to be caught in a pattern. If this sounds like your spouse, you’re not alone. Self-sabotage is easiest to identify when your expectations (or in this case, your spouse’s) don’t align with your efforts—or the outcome. At the core, self-sabotage is rooted…

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Feb 21
Love11

Help! My Spouse is a Flirt! What Can I Do?

By Communication, Conflict, Self Reflection 55 Comments

When you and your spouse first met, you were captivated by their charming personality. Maybe he made you feel like a princess, or maybe she made you feel like you were the only man in the world. It felt great to receive so much focused attention from someone who quickly became so special to you–and such a big part of your life. Now, you’re married and building a life together, but lately you’ve noticed that your spouse has begun to pay that same kind of flirtatious attention–the kind you thought was reserved only for you–to members of the opposite sex….

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Feb 14
Love14

Two Ways to Fire Up Passion in the Bedroom

By Communication, Scripture, Self Reflection, Time 15 Comments

There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. I Corinthians 6:16 The loss of passionate romance is a common complaint in marriage. It seems that once the confetti and rice are swept away and the last of the wedding cake is put in the freezer, so is the couple’s passion. But marriage in no way requires passion to be put on ice. Love grows less exciting with time for the same reasons that the second run on a fast toboggan slide is less exciting than the first. But as any…

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Feb 07
Love8

Valentine’s Dilemma: How to Celebrate When One Spouse Hates V-Day

By Communication, Self Reflection, Time 11 Comments

Marriage is all about partnership, and often that involves compromising on things you don’t necessarily agree upon. One topic we hear couples discuss often is the dilemma they face when it comes to celebrating special occasions together, like Valentine’s Day or anniversaries. You might get excited about the prospect of having a romantic experience together; sharing special affection and gifts may speak to you in a way it doesn’t to your spouse. On the other hand, your spouse might dread the looming celebration. The gap between expectation and reality can create uncomfortable friction between you as the big day approaches….

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Jan 31
Love7

Surprise Pregnancy: 4 Things to Do When You Weren’t Planning for a Baby

By Self Reflection 3 Comments

Two pink lines on a pregnancy test can create a major shift in your marriage. And if the pregnancy is an unexpected surprise, it can create a little chaos for you both. Maybe you and your spouse are newlyweds, and you’ve decided that you want to enjoy a few years together–settling into your careers, enjoying your first home, cultivating intimacy–before having a baby. Or maybe you’ve already had children and weren’t planning to have more. But now you’ve learned that you’re going to have a new baby…and it’s a complete shock. While having a baby is a wonderful thing (and…

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Jan 24
Love9

6 Snow Day Activities to Enjoy with Your Spouse

By Self Reflection, Time 13 Comments

For many of us in the United States, wintertime is in full swing right now. This time of year, it’s not unusual for many areas to see snow…and, in some places, a little bit of snow can mean a lot of time spent together at home, waiting for the roads to thaw. If you and your spouse find yourselves with an unexpected snow-day-in (or two…or three) this winter, there are plenty of ways you can create joyful memories with one another during your downtime. 1. Play in the snow There’s nothing quite like putting day-to-day responsibilities on hold and reconnecting…

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Jan 17
Love18

3 Ways to Nurture the Soul of Your Marriage

By Communication, Self Reflection, Time 11 Comments

To grow together as soul mates, you and your spouse need to tend to one another—and your marriage–on a spiritual level. Without working together to feed your souls, your bond will remain surface-level, putting your marriage at risk for falling apart when restlessness strikes. But when you anchor yourselves spiritually and grow your soul-bond with intention, you allow God’s presence to fill your relationship. Spiritual nurturing can be achieved by building simple practices into your marriage, then making them habits. Caring for the soul of your marriage doesn’t have to be boring, monotonous, or complicated; on the contrary, the simplicity…

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Jan 10
Love19

How to Know if Your Spouse is Your Soul Mate

By Self Reflection 18 Comments

The concept of “soul mates” is an age-old, romantic idea that each of us is fated to be with one special someone with whom we connect on a spiritual level. Many people put a lot of stock into this concept, and it’s not unusual for married individuals to wonder whether or not their spouse is their soul mate. The problem is that this can lead us to doubt the marriages we’ve committed to. When a young couple transitions from the “honeymoon phase” and into a more day-to-day dynamic, they might begin doubting or questioning whether this is the person they…

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