See if this sounds familiar: Your spouse has been drinking more and more often, and it has nagged at you for a while now. They often seem stressed, and the drinking is worse on hard days.
You’ve started to notice a shift in their behavior, and they’re hungover more often than they used to be. Now, you worry that their drinking could affect their ability to work and go about their daily routine. These days, their favorite pastime seems to be drinking on evenings and weekends, and the trend is beyond concerning.
Maybe you’ve tried to talk to them about this, but they don’t see a problem. And the truth is, the human mind is very good at denying reality. Your spouse might truly believe they can stop drinking whenever they want, but you see someone who has become increasingly reliant on alcohol to get through the week.
Is there anything you can do to help your spouse see the problem? If so, what? Read on, and let’s talk about it.
Understanding Your Spouse’s Addiction
If your spouse is relying on alcohol to manage stress or dull pain, they’re dealing with an addiction. The issue of addiction is usually a combination of a few things:
- Your spouse has lost control over a physical reality; for instance, they want to escape from something like stress or emotional pain
- They feel powerless over whatever they’re trying to run from; they’re unable to cope with or resolve it
Realize that very real pain led to this scenario, and remember to empathize with your spouse as you’re working through this together. Facing their pain will be incredibly vulnerable and difficult for them to face. It will mean hard work on their part if they want to overcome the addiction.
If You’ve Already Tried Confronting Your Spouse…
Let’s say you’ve already confronted your spouse about their drinking problem, but you haven’t been able to get anywhere. They don’t seem concerned about the issue, and they insist alcohol doesn’t interfere with their life. What else can you do?
Consider seeing a professional counselor who can help you navigate the situation. Consulting a professional who’s had experience with addiction recovery can help bring you clarity on the next right steps. You want to go through this process with someone who has experience helping couples overcome substance abuse.
One of the most popular ways of handling someone who may have a drinking problem is an intervention. This involves a collection of people they care about, often family and friends, coming together to help them confront the issue. Rather than facing the issue alone, you’re inviting significant people in their life who share the same concerns to join you in encouraging them to get help.
Because the pain behind addiction is so painful to face, your spouse may be in denial at first. Denial can be firmly rooted in a person’s personality. Therefore, it can take a team working together to uproot that defensiveness and get your spouse on the path to recovery.
While you’re navigating this painful situation, it’s important to take care of yourself. Our book, Healthy Me, Healthy Us, is a guide to helping you better focus on your individual wellbeing, because your relationships can only be as healthy as you are. Take a look and get your copy here.
Have you ever navigated addiction in your marriage? Let’s talk about it in the comments.
