When you are both passionate about your future and your careers, your dreams and goals can sometimes collide. Life will take you many directions, and career goals can shift and change. For example, you may have been promoted and asked to work in another city. Or perhaps a new baby is in your future. On the flip side, maybe one of you lost your job and you are starting fresh.
When it comes to careers, it’s important to remember that your career is not only an expression of your gifts, but the tool that provides for your family. Balancing your provisions and your gifts can be tricky, but is vitally important to sustain both your family’s needs and your happiness.
Today, we are discussing points to consider when you are working through a career collision.
Think about a formula
Sit down with your partner and discuss what it takes to provide for your family. What are your provision goals? How can you make this scenario work in your case, and how will this affect your family?
This might mean that one of you may need to make a sacrifice to fulfill your future objectives. Or it may be that a shift in both of your careers is necessary so you can each continue with vocations you are passionate about. Cutting back on work hours, or hiring extra help may be a discussion that need to be had, for example.
Each scenario is different, and each family has unique needs. It’s important to come up with a formula that will work for your current situation, and a solution you mutually agree upon. Not every family works the same, so have a meeting with your partner and work out a plan that is best for your family.
Take a look down the road
To help with difficult decisions, we recommend the 10-10-10 exercise. Couples tend to focus on the short run, and a “10-10-10 discussion” will help you see further down the lane. It’s simple; ask yourselves what your decision will look like 10 weeks from now, 10 months from now and lastly, 10 years from now. How will this decision affect you and your family as a whole?
This exercise is a great decision making tool because it requires you to think of all the levels of impact your decisions will have on you – both good and bad. If you anticipate that your spouse will be devastated and sad in ten years, then this likely isn’t the right decision. Or on the contrary, if you both see a bright future after you discuss your intentions then you are on the right path!
To sum everything up we can’t forget about the one word that carries so much weight in a relationship: compromise. When it comes to careers and relationships, try not to get hung up on the “this isn’t fair” point of view. You may need to give and take a little to reach the best decision.
With life comes bumps in the road, and you will need to overcome those bumps – together. If you focus on what’s best for your family’s future, then compromise will come easy. Whatever the outcome of your decision, it’s important to negotiate a shared relationship and accept compromise, and sometimes even sacrifice.
Have you and your spouse had a conflict over careers? How did you overcome this? We would love to hear from you in the comments!