The Importance of Spiritual Intimacy

Spiritual intimacy is one of the most important, yet least talked about aspects of marital health. There are countless studies that show how important it is to share a spiritual bond. This intimacy encompasses your deepest core values, your mission and your passion for life.

Spiritual intimacy in a relationship is developed through your activities together, such as attending church. However, it’s also a direct reflection of your journey inside as well. Your spiritual activities are external, while your spiritual values are internal and part of the core of who you are. These go hand in hand.

Attending church together is a priority for many couples, and is a vital one. But how else can you bolster your spiritual bond? Today, we are touching on ways you and your partner can strengthen your spiritual intimacy.

Practice devotional time together

Not every couple will be on the same page with devotional practices. Finding a way to share this sacred time with each other is pivotal in developing spiritual intimacy. This doesn’t mean you have to give up your own spiritual path and only devote yourself to what your spouse would like to practice, but finding a common ground that you can agree upon will go a long way in strengthening your spiritual relationship.

Some couples will pray together each night, while others will study bible verses together. We know of one couple who practices prayer time together by simply going for a walk around the lake by their house and praying quietly side by side.

Regardless of what it is you enjoy doing together, be sure to create a routine that works for your schedules and needs. Whether it’s daily, weekly, or bi-weekly, be sure you are on the same page.

Understand that you grow in different ways

It’s essential to realize that we are all different when it comes to our internal spiritual journeys. Two people can both be deeply committed, but can experience internal spiritual intimacy in different ways. Sometimes, there is some work that is involved so the two of you can understand where the other’s journey lies.

You might find solace by having time alone to journal and pray. Or perhaps out in nature is where you seek your spiritual customs. While your partner might craft their spiritual journey through online groups who have theological discussions, or ideas that involve pondering and internal growth.

There are infinite ways a person can be spiritual, and it’s important to understand your partner and where their heart and journey lies. By acknowledging and supporting your spouse’s spiritual route, you’ll cultivate an immeasurable bond.

Start a couple’s group

There’s so much strength that can be found in a small group of couples that gets together to discuss any type of marital topic. This doesn’t have to be a long term commitment either, it can be a 6-week group that meets once a week, for example.

The spiritual intimacy formed through getting together with other couples is endless in nature. When you open your heart while side by side with your spouse, you are sharing an internal piece of yourself, your relationship, and your spiritual values.

Need a suggestion for small group curriculum? Love Talk, Your Time Starved Marriage, or I love You More are great places to start.

How do you and your spouse keep your spiritual intimacy strong? We’d love to hear from you in the comments below!


  • Michael Van Dyke - Living Hope Church in Mn. says:

    My wife and I do separate devotions in the morning generally because we get up at different times. In the evening though we do a devotion and comment time before bed. We then pray together. We pray for family, friends, church or situations we know of going on around us. Sometimes we pray face to face with our eyes open looking at one another. When we were first taught to do this by Pastor Leo Godzich of First Assembly of God in Phoenix we found it awkward. After we got past that the spirit connection between us in those moments became unreal. It was like looking right into my spouse’s soul and seeing everything important to her. Now we encourage couples we mentor to pray this way and see if it does not change your relationship.

    • Bryce C Miller says:

      Thats a great idea, Michael. My wife and I are marriage mentors and head up the new marriage ministry at our church. I am going to implement this at home and with the couples we mentor. Thanks and be blessed, brother. Expect it!

  • Jane Fairchild says:

    This has always been important in our marriage from day one (41 years of marriage). For our household, Mark gets up earlier so he has his personal time with God and himself, reading God’s word, praising, worship, praying. I, as the wife, I get up a little later and then have my personal time with Abba Father God, reading God’s word, praising, worship, praying, and I have always been one that writes in a daily journal. In the evening hours after dinner is complete, we join together. Mark always purposes to sit right next to me on the couch. We share our prayer requests for that day with each other. Mark is the full-time Chaplain at Peoria Rescue Mission, a Christian homeless shelter, so sometimes he shares of someone’s needs that came to the Rescue Mission for help, or whom just received Jesus as their Lord, as we pray for that individual(s) at that time. We then pray together as when two or more agree on anything in our Lord Jesus, it will happen, also when two or more are gathered together in Jesus, you then have ‘church’. So Mark and I have a private ‘church’ time in our living room every evening. We pray for each others requests and needs, we pray for blessings upon our neighbors, our Pastor and church setting that we attend, and we pray for each other, our son, and the needs or decisions we have ahead. Afterwards, we read either out of a devotional, or a passage of God’s word, or listen to a section of a Christian tape series for learning, or read a chapter in a Christian book that we both agreed upon for learning. After we complete this small set aside time for our God being together, we then just take a couple of minutes and just embrace and hold each other. It has always been a good time for both of us. We started this the first day we married, and now it is 41 years later and we continue the same. (Note: a family that prays together, stays together – something we believe and we follow.)

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