The Benefits of Adventure in Your Relationship

“The pleasure which we most rarely experience gives us greatest delight” – Epictetus

Most couples tend to play it safe when it comes to adventure and trying new things. Life is going along ok and you are making it, you’ve found an easy groove in life and love – so why change it? Eventually, if you’re not mindful about the groove you are in, it will become a rut. You can’t cross the sea by staring at the water. Adventure requires that you jump into the experience.

Dopamine in the brain is essential to happiness. As we age we lose dopamine – and it doesn’t regenerate. Our brains are like muscles that need exercise to keep fit, and trying new things does just that. It increases dopamine and heightens our happiness. This week, our prayer for you is that you and your partner try a new adventure. Here’s why…

Try New Things Together

The start of a relationship is exciting. You have a new partner and are experiencing life’s adventures together. Research reveals that novelty wears thin starting at about two years into marriage. When we fast forward in any relationship we usually find a couple who is relatively routine. The same meals, favorite TV shows, same restaurants, and the same conversations. Let’s face it, familiarity is comforting, but it can also be boring. Routine will rarely make the heart race.

When you try something new together, this will evoke feelings of happiness – you become excited, your adrenaline is pumping and your brain is high on dopamine. You feel happy and in love. This can be anything new! Perhaps a date like zip-lining, or a vacation you’ve been dreaming about. It can be as simple as a new restaurant with food you’ve never tried. Or a sporadic unplanned road-trip.

Whatever the case, new and exciting experiences together will reignite loving feelings and tap into the “happy places” in your brain. Simply put, trying new adventures together will make you happy.

Keep Monogamy Hot

Yes, you heard us. Hot monogamy. For married couples keeping the passion alive is a key aspect to happiness. As relationships age, love making can slow down or become routine. There’s a powerful tendency in an enduring marriage to favor the predictable over the unpredictable. Yet without an element of uncertainty, we reduce our sexual anticipation and excitement.

Trying something new together in the bedroom will help increase this anticipation and excitement. You can also plan a getaway, even for a night in a nearby city. Sometimes a location change will spice things up as well.

Make New Friends, Together

Finding and building friendships with other couples is an adventure in itself. Try joining a small group, or attend events with other local couples. Studies show that couples who have committed and shared friendships with other couples are the happiest couples on the planet.

The goal to making new friends together is to be intentional about building your social web of connection with other couples that you can do life together with. People with the highest levels of happiness have irrefutable strong ties to friends, and are committed to sharing time with them.

Buy Experiences – Not Things

Buying experiences rather than products makes people happier. When you think back on a memory of a vacation, you tend to forget the negative (like a cramped plane ride) and remember the most blissful moments (like relaxing on a beach). Experiences tend to get better with age, whereas goods we buy eventually lose their luster over time.

We spend more time overall contemplating our experiences rather than material purchases. And experiences promote one of the most effective happiness-inducing behaviors we have as couples: spending time together.

Thankfully, you don’t need to sail across the ocean to create an epic adventure with your partner. Whenever you try new adventures together, big or small, you’re already on your way to reducing boredom and boosting happiness. Trying new things will help you fall in love again and again.

Looking for more on this topic? Checkout our book Making Happy. And be sure to let us know about your greatest adventure with your partner (or what you hope to do next) in the comments below!

Also, did you know we are now on Instagram? We hope you will follow along our new adventure! You can find us here: @lesandleslie. See you there!

6 Comments

  • Lutrecia Church says:

    We have been married for 30 years and would marry each other all over again. You are right about adventure. E are both in our 70s and wer have taken up hiking, we have a travel trailer which we use to live in when we volunter at Christian camps. We both love to cruise and have traveled over seas and the US.
    Our next adventure is a trek east with our Travel trailer to volunteer in 2 camps, one in Indiana and one in Maine. We plan to come back home through Canada. Boredom is not something that we experience. We love our life and God ‘s blessings.

  • Amy 🥰 says:

    I am soon to be married and really enjoyed reading this.
    I really enjoy seeing Christian perspectives on marriage and how to keep it happy and healthy.

  • Lora Cole says:

    Hi , my name is also Lora and I was just reading and I’m also inspired. My husband and I have been married for 36 years and are on our first road trip since retiring. Loving our new adventures together!❤❤

  • Andy says:

    This is so awesome. My wife and I (of 27 years) have always made a focus of our marriage to not get stuck in a routine. Now that we are empty-nesters that has taken on a whole new look for us. We have recently started doing new things together that only one of us use to do alone. And then out of the blue, I got a job in a small town in the mountains of Colorado so we are moving from the Denver-metro to the mountains to completely and totally upend our routine and find an exciting new lifestyle. You gotta keep it all fresh and that is something we learned many years ago when we first saw Les and Leslie speak on marriage. You have to be intentional about all aspects of your marriage, including intimacy, in order to make this thing work for so long!

  • hi there I really like the blog you have set up here. Thanks and keep up the great work!

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