Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Intimacy is the soul-to-soul and heart-to-heart connection that a couple has between them. It’s the defining moment in a relationship where you truly get each other. However, intimacy is fluid in a marriage. It’s easy to get distracted and lose touch.
It’s important to gauge the intimacy meter from time to time in your relationship. In fact, we’ve created a check list you can use to do this. There’s no right or wrong answer, take your time and have fun with it!
Once you rate your intimacy, have a discussion with your spouse. Is there room for growth? Or perhaps it’s already great and you want to take it to the next level? Either way, there are ways to strengthen the intimacy in your relationship. And it starts by understanding and working on some of the most important components that drive those intimate moments. Today, we want to share some of the components of intimacy that are crucial.
Do you feel you are free to say what you want in your relationship – without judgment? Can you share your deepest thoughts with your spouse without worrying about being accepted? Having connected conversations with your significant other is a vital role in intimacy. And feeling safe to do so is equally as important.
Intimate conversations don’t usually happen in the middle of a busy day. They tend to happen among a shared and fun experience, or when it’s quiet and you can focus. Setting aside a time to sit and reflect on your day is a good place to start. Remember to season your conversations with affirmations as well. Affirming words from the heart are a great way to cultivate intimacy. Focus on words of affirmation that are true and genuine.
Additionally, what is it you know will help your spouse feel special and cared for? Perhaps by asking your partner for advice, or seeking their input in your life they will feel valued. When you show your partner you value their opinion you are sharing an intimate connection.
Having things in common with your partner is a key component to intimacy. It can be anything from going fishing together, to a simple walk through the neighborhood. What do you love to do together? Reflect back on your dating life as well – what were some of the most fun dates you had? Recreate those times with your spouse! Surprise them and set up a date that mimics a fun memory you had together.
Don’t forget that spiritual interests and connections are just as important as well. Sharing the same religious values, such as praying together and going to church together, are an immeasurable component to an intimate connection.
Humor cultivates intimacy. It’s no secret that couples who laugh often together usually have the healthiest and most intimate relationships. When you see your partner after work, share moments with them that made you smile throughout your day. By reflecting on the things that made you happy and sharing that happiness with your spouse, you invite them into your world and create a new connection.
Another great way to share humor is to reflect on memories you’ve had together with your partner – especially those that make you laugh. “Remember that time when…..?” Scheduling activities that are light-hearted and fun are also great ways to add humor into your relationship. Do you love comedy? Schedule a date night! Whatever makes you laugh together, be sure to make more time in your life to do those activities.
Intimacy is a crucial component in establishing a healthy relationship. When you have an intimate connection you are on the same sheet of music, and singing the same song. By focusing on these components and being intentional with intimacy, you can make your every-day the best-day with your spouse.
What intimate components would you like to work on more in your relationship? We’d love to hear from you!