If your spouse’s love tank is low, how do you refill it?
Everyone has an emotional reservoir we like to call a “love tank.” Each person’s tank needs the right fuel, and what that fuel is can change from one season to the next. The love tank varies from person to person, depending on your individual life experiences and needs.
The longer you’re with your spouse, the better you’ll understand their love tank, and vice versa. It’s crucial to understand how their love tank works, what causes it to empty, and how you can fill it back up again. Let’s talk about it.
Understand How Love Tanks Work
The most important thing to understand about any love tank is that it empties far more quickly than it fills. This means it doesn’t necessarily take much to drain your spouse’s love tank. One misstep or forgotten promise can cause rapid depletion.
When your spouse’s love tank is low, you might notice them withdrawing from you. They might seem reactive, sensitive, or irritable. You might notice they need repeated reassurance when you express love.
Your love tank is nuanced based on your needs as an individual, and the same goes for your spouse. What fills or empties your tank may not affect your spouse in the same way. So when you realize your spouse’s love tank is low, you’ll need to consider the situation from their perspective.
Learn Why Your Spouse’s Love Tank is Low
Marriage is an ongoing exercise in empathy. Walking in one another’s shoes, metaphorically speaking, is essential. To understand why your spouse’s love tank is low, you have to be open to understanding what affects it.
First, take some time for introspection. Do you know some of the reasons why your spouse’s love tank is low? Can you recall any specific interaction that caused a shift in your relationship?
If you’re not sure why your spouse’s love tank is low, ask. Find a time that works for both of you, and be open to receiving feedback. Be gentle with one another through this exercise, and approach the conversation with a willingness to change.
Do What It Takes to Refill the Tank
Once you know why your spouse’s tank is low, it’s time to work on refilling it. Put their feedback into action, and be consistent. Patience is important throughout this process, since it takes more time to refill the tank than it does to drain it.
Finally, be committed to lasting change so you can help your spouse keep a full tank. One helpful way to do this is to not only understand your spouse’s top Love Languages™, but the unique way they need to receive them. We teach you how in our new book, co-written with Dr. Gary Chapman: The Love Language That Matters Most.
This book will deepen your understanding of the 5 Love Languages® and guide you to see your spouse through fresh eyes. When you know exactly how to communicate Love Languages to meet your spouse’s needs, you can effectively fill their love tank. Find out more about the book and order your copy here.
What empties your spouse’s love tank? What keeps it full? Let’s talk about it in the comments.
