When we’re dating, we give the best of ourselves to our partner. We’re getting to know one another, falling in love, and we want to make a good impression. Focusing completely on one another and the future we’re building makes us feel happy and fulfilled.
After we marry, though, we sometimes find ourselves giving less than our best to our spouse. Life gets hectic, and there are so many obligations to fulfill. Oftentimes, it happens before we realize it.
Whatever the case, it’s crucial to find ways to start giving your spouse the best version of yourself again. You can’t skip this important step if you want to nurture lifelong love and a happier marriage. In today’s post, we’re sharing five tips that will help you give your spouse the best version of you, so let’s jump in.
1. Share Good News With Your Spouse First
Whenever possible, if you have good news to share, make sure your spouse is the first person to hear it from you. Having close relationships with your family and friends is important, but your spouse should be your top priority. That means before you burn all your excitement with coworkers, friends, or family, take that news to your spouse first.
One beautiful thing about marriage is that you have someone by your side who can celebrate happy times with you. But when you don’t prioritize that bonding opportunity, you’re giving up the chance to share an incredibly special moment while it’s still fresh. It makes a difference to go to your spouse first, and doing so will positively impact both of you.
2. Clear Away Distractions
Clearing away distractions doesn’t just mean turning off the TV or putting your phone down to have a conversation. It might mean making sure you’ve completed your daily tasks or obligations so that you can give your spouse your full attention. If you’re a task-oriented person, rather than a more people-oriented person, then clearing away these distractions will help you give your spouse your best.
Sometimes, spouses’ needs and personalities clash based on where each person orients. You might need to have a heart-to-heart with your spouse about your need to clear away tasks so you can fully focus on them. Communication can soothe many heartaches, so let your spouse know where your heart is.
3. Create Moments of Tenderness
When you were dating, you likely made plenty of time for romance and tenderness. You were madly in love and the center of each other’s world. Try to reconnect with those memories and feelings today, then work to bring that spark back to the forefront of your relationship.
You can certainly make more time for intimacy to create more tenderness in your marriage. However, little everyday gestures can do so much to help your spouse feel loved. Hold hands, look into each other’s eyes, or leave love notes for one another. Remember what makes your spouse light up, and add more of that to your marriage today.
4. Listen to Your Spouse’s Heart
Has your spouse been seeking your attention or affection? Have you been pausing for long enough to meet their needs? Listen to their heart when they come to you with concerns.
It can be difficult to hear that you haven’t been giving your spouse the attention they crave from you. The good news is, this is an issue that can be corrected. Stay open to what your spouse is trying to communicate, then find ways to meet them where they are.
5. Find Your “Off” Switch
If you’re someone who prefers to stay busy, moving from one pursuit or task to another, it can be difficult to slow down. Are you a hard worker who relentlessly pursues your dreams? Keep pursuing your spouse and your marriage just as hard.
Finding your “off” switch is essential for a healthy marriage. It doesn’t mean you have to give up a fulfilling career or the dreams you’ve been pursuing. But it does mean that your spouse deserves to spend a little downtime with you. Work and passion projects will still be there when you return.
Strengthening your relationship starts with you
Sometimes, we need to prioritize our own wellbeing in order to be our best selves in our marriages. Our book, Healthy Me, Healthy Us, is a guide to help you focus on becoming a healthier person all-around so you can relate with your loved ones in a more constructive way. If you believe getting healthier might help with balancing priorities in your marriage, you can pick up your copy here.
How do you give the best of yourself to your spouse? Leave us a comment and let us know.
Excellent, great practical advice
That’s some stuff I needed to hear