When it comes to igniting more romance in your marriage, having a deep connection with your spouse is key. Many married couples find themselves sucked into their daily routines and busy schedules, and they’re experiencing less romance and intimacy than they did when they were dating or newlyweds. If this sounds familiar to you, read on.
Even though you might be feeling disconnected and discouraged right now, it’s possible to reignite more romance in your marriage. We’ve gathered some tips you can start putting into practice right away to help you do that.
Romance doesn’t exist in a vacuum; it has to be cultivated with intention. In order to experience it, there are some things you and your spouse should be doing to nurture each other on a consistent basis. While this is in no way an exhaustive list, these tips will help you get on a more solid path to deeper love.
1. Practice better listening.
If you want to reconnect with your spouse, listen to one another. Intentionally practicing active listening will help you to truly hear your spouse when they’re communicating with you. Listening well will serve both of you no matter what kind of conversation you’re having. Whether you’re discussing the details of your day or working through a conflict, better listening will pay dividends.
2. Demonstrate that you understand each other’s needs.
When you listen to each other well, you’ll gain a better understanding of each other’s needs. But beyond knowing what your spouse needs on an intellectual level, you’ll need to show them that you truly “get” where they’re coming from. Echo your understanding when you talk, and invite your spouse to offer clarity if you’re not grasping what they are saying.
Showing your spouse that you understand through patience and openness will help you both to feel safer. Emotional vulnerability, in turn, will strengthen your connection and help to open the door for more romance.
3. Show empathy.
Now, go beyond simple understanding and put yourself into your spouse’s shoes. Empathy means that you’re able to see things from your spouse’s perspective, then act or respond accordingly. It encourages compassion and emotional safety. When you behave empathically toward one another, you’re naturally going to open the door to a deeper relationship.
4. Meet each other as true partners.
One way to bring more romance to your marriage is to behave as true partners in your relationship and your home. If one spouse feels unsupported or overburdened, it’s going to be more difficult to cultivate the kind of romantic intimacy you want. Put your listening, understanding, and empathy skills to work and talk about how you can better show up for one another in the life you’ve built together. This will give you both more freedom to focus on romance.
5. Focus on non-sexual affection and intimacy.
Physical touch and affection that don’t lead to sex will help you and your spouse forge a connection that leads to deeper romance. Don’t pressure one another for a specific outcome, but engage in affectionate touch that helps you feel closer. Be gentle, playful, and loving with one another to spark the romance and tenderness you’re missing.
Deepen your love and open the door to more romance.
Need a little help on your journey to deeper romance? Take a look at our Better Love Assessment. The assessment is fun, easy, and straightforward–and it generates a personalized report that can help you and your spouse experience more laughter, better sex, less conflict, and deeper conversations. You can learn more about it here.
Have you and your spouse ever needed to reset the romance in your marriage? What steps did you take, and how did it go? Let us know in the comments!
