It’s a brand new year, and for many of us, this is a time to take a look at our goals and desires for the coming months. For some couples, this might mean finding ways to spend more quality time together. Does that sound like you?
Spending time with your spouse is essential to nurturing and deepening intimacy and connection. If you and your spouse are hoping to save your time together in the New Year, there are some simple things you can do to get started. Let’s jump right in.
1. Sync your schedules.
As much as you can, try to synchronize your schedules. Take some time to look at both of your work and recreational schedules, and figure out where you can maximize your time. You might see that you can schedule a weekly lunch or date night. Alternatively, you may be able to make slight adjustments to open up new windows of time that you can spend together.
Sitting down with your schedules can also be a real eye-opener. You see how much time you really have available in the week–and you may find that you can create more time than you think. It’s all about strategically maneuvering your schedules to make the most of the time and opportunities you have.
2. Keep communication open.
Getting more time together means communicating openly with one another–not only about your availability, but about your desires for that time. What sort of expectations do each of you have for the amount of time you’d like to spend together? What would you like the new year to look like, in terms of scheduling more time with your spouse?
Talking about what you would both like is a great way of seeing how your desires align, not only with one another, but with reality, too. Now that you’ve taken a look at your calendars, you’ll have a better grasp on whether the true amount of time you have aligns with those desires and expectations.
3. Re-evaluate your priorities.
The beginning of a brand new year is a great time to take a look at your priorities and obligations. Then, figure out whether your standing obligations still align with your priorities. If they do not, talk about it, then decide whether you can comfortably step away from (or reduce) those obligations.
Don’t pressure one another to give up important activities that are meaningful to you. Instead, work to identify the ones that might not hold a high amount of significance. Spending more time together doesn’t mean convincing your spouse to quit a discipline, practice, or activity that they love. Instead, it might mean turning down requests to volunteer at church or school, or canceling a gym class that doesn’t bring you joy.
4. Work with, not against, one another.
Remember that when you’re working to rescue your togetherness in the New Year, you’re playing for the same team. Be patient and understanding of one another as you navigate making adjustments to your calendars and aligning more time for your marriage. It might take a little strategy and creativity, but we feel confident that you can create more time for your relationship this year.
If you need help or some extra tips for making more time, then check out our book, Your Time-Starved Marriage. Just like money, time must be managed–and we can show you how. Pick up your copy here.
Are you planning to make more time for one another in 2022? Let us know in the comments!
We recently found I have aggressive prostate cancer (with so far no metastasis) & are planning to make more time for one another & other family members in 2022. Thank you for your on-going marriage input. Our eldest offspring attended SPU, had instruction from you & recommended my being on your list, so I’ve received your input for years. God bless you all. Perhaps I’ll sit-in on a class or course sometime.
When both spouses have to strive to make ends meet, creating ample time to spend together becomes a challenge. The core business here will be ensuring that each one makes a viable financial contribution that will keep the family running. You cannot stay together when the children have nothing to eat or put on and again you have to keep earning to pay for the education of the children and in some cases for your own professional growth.
That is so true, and we’ve been there. We came to see it as an opportunity for creativity. You can’t follow the suggestions given for the average couple, you have to create your own new ways of spending time together – even if it’s just fifteen minutes a week right now! Your marriage is the cornerstone of your family, and your children need your marriage to be strong. Don’t despair, ask God to show you creative ways to be together. I will pray for you and others in that situation.