3 Ways to Better Understand Your Spouse’s Personality

Do you want to know your spouse on a deeper level? Gaining a greater understanding of your spouse’s personality (and vice versa) is one way to create more closeness in your marriage. Our inborn personalities are in our genes, and those distinct traits make up the building blocks of who we are.

At the same time, the differences in our personalities can get in the way of our harmony from time to time. Misunderstandings and miscommunications can create friction in your marriage. But the good news is, when you know one another on a more intimate level, you’ll have higher chances of resolving these conflicts successfully.

Wondering how to gain a better comprehension of your spouse’s unique personality? We’ve gathered a few tips to help you get started.

1. Listen with patience and empathy.

Each of us is born with an innate personality that will, most likely, stay with us for our entire lives. Although there may be shifts in our behaviors due to challenging circumstances or stressful times, we ultimately return to our core personalities. Because we are so different, it’s easy to focus on the areas where we clash.

If we want to build lifelong love, though, we must approach one another with full empathy and patience. Listening to your spouse’s perspective through the lens of their personality can help tremendously when it comes to understanding them better. We like to think of it as trading places or taking a walk in one another’s shoes.

2. Combine your strengths and act as a team.

Having different personality traits is a blessing! Your strengths can complement one another, and when you combine those strengths as a team, you can accomplish so much more than you could have alone. The secret is not in becoming more like one another; it’s in embracing your differences and the things that make each of you unique.

Take stock of your strengths and weaknesses. Are there areas where the two of you can step in and carry the weight for one another? Are there areas where you can combine your superpowers and achieve goals as a team? Your individual personalities can serve your marriage well when you’re aware of them and willing to work together.

3. Use relationship assessments to gain deeper insight.

Sometimes, we need a little bit of help to “get” one another on a deeper level. Using relationship assessments as a marriage enrichment tool can help the two of you achieve a greater understanding of one another. We offer multiple relationship assessment tools that help couples deepen their relationships and ultimately create a chance to experience more fulfilling love.

  • For singles and dating couples, the Yada! Assessment is a fantastic way to get to know yourselves and one another better. Ultimately, marriages stand a greater chance of success when both individuals are healthy and self-aware. Yada! can help you forge a healthy and fulfilling path, whether you’re in a relationship right now or not.
  • For pre-marriage and married couples, the SYMBIS Assessment is the way to go. While its title (Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts) implies that it’s tailored for engaged couples, it’s useful and constructive for married couples at any stage of their relationship.
  • Married couples can benefit from the Better Love Assessment, which can help you take your relationship to the next level. If you’re looking to enhance your relationship and get the love you both want, take a look at Better Love.

Want to get started with the right assessment for you? Take a look at the options here.

Do you and your spouse have a deep understanding of one another’s personalities? If so, what steps did you take to learn more about each other? Leave us a comment and let us know.

One Comment

  • Roger D. Nunn says:

    Whenever I see or hear the word “yada” in a Christian context, I somehow cringe, as it became popularized on the Jerry Seinfeld show.


    “Yada, Yada, Yada” is a phrase popularized on the Jerry Seinfeld show to imply sexual activity among unmarried persons. It may be related to the “ya,da’ which appears in Genesis 19:5.
    Yeah. I met this lawyer, we went out to dinner, I had the lobster bisk [sic], we went back to my place, yada yada yada, I never heard from him again.
    by Mike Gerty June 6, 2005”

    “Yada yada yada

    Conversation glosser-over, similar to blah, blah, blah
    Yeah. I met this lawyer, we went out to dinner, I had the lobster bisque, we went back to my place, yada yada yada, I never heard from him again.
    by Genku July 29, 2003”


    I realize that is not your intention by calling your “Yada! Assessment” what you do. 🙂

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