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control Archives - SYMBIS Assessment

Why It’s Time To Let Go of Perfectionism in Your Marriage

By Conflict, Marriage 5 Comments

Are you a perfectionist? Is your spouse? Although perfectionists tend to pride themselves on their meticulousness and attention to detail, those of us who experience perfectionism often find that the people around us don’t necessarily uphold our ideals. And in a marriage, perfectionistic tendencies can create major strain. Today, we’re breaking down a few reasons why it’s time to let go of perfectionism in your marriage. Let’s dive right in. 1. Perfectionism triggers unnecessary stress. Expecting perfection in one or more areas of life and marriage sets us up for unnecessary stress. Stress, in turn, can negatively impact our health….

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Help! My Spouse Gets Controlling When We Disagree

By Conflict 4 Comments

Does this scenario sound familiar? Most of the time, you and your spouse tend to have a peaceful relationship…until you get into a disagreement. And during those times, you feel like you barely recognize them. So what is going on? It’s possible that your spouse actually has a control problem–maybe even one they keep well-hidden until their buttons get pushed. But how is that possible? Control freaks aren’t always controllers in every scenario. Sometimes, the controlling qualities come out in certain circumstances. Having a fight can bring out the worst in anyone, but it tends to ignite the control freak…

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10 Ways to Let Go of Control in Your Marriage

By Communication, Conflict, Marriage, Relationships 2 Comments

Being a control freak in your marriage–or in your life, in general–means you don’t exactly make life easy for your spouse. That probably seems counterintuitive, doesn’t it? We control because we want to make life feel easier, more predictable, or more secure. But it actually makes the people around us miserable–and it makes us miserable, too. In last week’s post, we discussed the root of most controlling behavior–anxiety–and shared 6 signs that you might be a control freak. This week, we’re going to talk about 10 things you can do about it. 1. Learn how to delegate. Delegating is tough…

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How to Battle Busyness and Win

By Time 2 Comments

Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of. -Benjamin Franklin We’ve all been in a situation where we do something we don’t necessarily want to do. Imagine it’s a Sunday afternoon and you plan on relaxing and recharging. The phone rings and you pick it up – agitated at the person who called you. If you don’t want to talk, then why answer? Just because the phone is ringing, doesn’t mean you have to respond. This is the key. We are in control with what we do with our time….

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Help! My Spouse is a Control Freak! What Do I Do?

By Communication, Conflict 9 Comments

There are few intimacy killers as potent as controlling behavior. Control is a problem we see on a spectrum, ranging from spouses who are simply nitpicky over one or two parts of their lives to spouses who engage in destructive behavior. Most control issues fall somewhere in the middle and stem from your spouse’s anxiety about one or more parts of your life. When we read between the lines, we often understand that the controlling spouse’s motivation is something like, “I love you so much, I want you to be aware of these few things that aren’t perfect.” If your…

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How to Stop Controlling Your Spouse

By Communication, Conflict, Self Reflection, Time 70 Comments

Why do we try to stay in control? Often, when we’re trying to control others (in this case, our spouse), we’re acting out of fear. Perhaps it’s fear of the unknown, or just the simple fear of not getting something that we deeply desire. Whatever the case, the primary motivating factor in controlling behavior is often fear. Fear itself can have many different triggers. If you’ve been betrayed by your spouse in the past (in the case of infidelity–or any other breach of trust, for that matter), you might resort to control in order to alleviate your fear of further…

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