How to Appreciate Your Spouse More

Do you appreciate your spouse enough? It’s easy to get swept up into our daily routines and forget to show them appreciation. But fully appreciating your spouse is one key to keeping your love alive and your marriage thriving.

Want to know how to appreciate your spouse more? Read on.

Notice the Little Things Again

Appreciation is all about taking notice of the details that slip past us when we’re caught up in the daily grind. To notice the little things, we have to slow down and be intentional. We must mean to notice the details if we want to rekindle our appreciation for our spouse.

Ultimately, it’s important to say thank you more often. Sometimes we stop thanking one another when we should. It’s easy to form expectations for one another that become part of the fabric of daily life. We divvy up responsibilities and go about them from week to week.

Does your spouse bring you a cup of coffee every morning? Get the kids ready for school while you prepare for work? Volunteer to cook the evening meal after work, even when you’re both exhausted? Leave a note for you just to say they love you?

Don’t let little things become mundane. Take notice of them, then let your spouse know that you both notice and appreciate their efforts to show love even in the smallest ways.

Take a Trip Down Memory Lane

If you’re struggling to appreciate your spouse–which can happen from time to time, especially when times get rough–then revisit some of your favorite memories together. A little nostalgia can make a tremendous impact on your feelings for one another.

Remembering ways your spouse has shown love and shown up for you in the past can put the present into perspective. It can also help remind you of what your spouse does for you in the moment. Good memories warm our hearts and remind us why we fell in love in the first place.

Give Them a Token of Your Appreciation

Have you written your spouse a love letter lately? Given them a card or a gift that shows them how much you love them? Consider giving your spouse a token of your appreciation, especially if it has been a while since you did.

We’re all familiar with the scriptural adage that it is better to give than receive. Giving with a grateful heart puts your spouse’s feelings into perspective. After all, appreciation isn’t just about reminding yourself how you feel about your spouse. It’s reminding them how you feel, too, and it’s taking their emotions into consideration in the process.

Learn How They Like to Receive Gratitude

Are you communicating your appreciation to your spouse in a way that will fully resonate with them? Learn how they like to receive gratitude. For many of us, it’s easier to see acts of love and gratitude through our own lens, but our spouse may have a totally different perspective.

You can always ask your spouse what they prefer. Taking an assessment like Better Love can also help you get to know one another on a deeper level. Nothing boosts appreciation like deepening your understanding of one another, both as individuals and in the context of your marriage. If you’re ready to deepen your intimacy and appreciate your spouse like never before, check out the assessment here.

How do you rekindle appreciation for your spouse? Are you intentional about showing them gratitude? Let us know in the comments.


  • Bill Flansburg says:

    Thanks for these thoughtful reminders and good ideas. Our daughter appreciated your classes at SPU and years ago suggested that we also receive your emails which we have appreciated.
    Bill & Carol

  • Maria LeVinus says:

    Thank you both for the work you put in to help us all! God bless your ministry!

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