Do you know what false guilt looks like?
Guilt can be lethal on a soul level. It’s brought on by regrets we hold onto, and it comes in many forms. We may feel guilt when we break the law, compromise our integrity, or violate God’s law. These kinds of guilt are justified.
On the other hand, false guilt is irrational and unjustified. It tells us we’ve done wrong when we haven’t. It gnaws at us, depriving us of peace.
The people who least deserve false guilt are often the ones most plagued by it. Our conscience becomes overactive, insisting we deserve punishment when we don’t. Left unchecked, these feelings and thoughts can swirl for years, even decades.
People are often surprised to realize that, “Let your conscience be your guide,” isn’t a Bible verse. It’s a quote from Jiminy Cricket. While we might naturally sense right and wrong, life experience calibrates our moral compass. Our conscience isn’t equipped with all the tools we need to follow it without question.
This means the conscience can be mistaken. Guilt can be a true warning, or a false alarm. Either way, the conscience can’t differentiate.
Thinking Habits: The Reason Why You’re Stuck
Our habitual thinking patterns create patterns that ultimately get us stuck. As a result, we live on autopilot, letting our unconscious thoughts rule. False guilt runs on autopilot, too. It’s convincing, but not truthful.
Rather than letting automatic, unconscious lies dictate our everyday life and the state of our emotions, it’s important to take control of what we think. That starts with recognizing our thinking habits and the way we speak to ourselves.
Our self-talk ultimately becomes our emotional state. Repetitive false guilt becomes a message our brain prioritizes. Scripture says, “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7 NKJV). If you think thoughts that assume false guilt, you will always feel unnecessarily guilty.
How to Identify False Guilt
So what does false guilt look like? In our experience, it’s made up of the “shoulds” and the “if onlys.” “If only” thoughts trick your brain into thinking that one mistake led to all your current problems in any given area of your life. “Should” thoughts feed irrational regret and guilt, too. For instance:
- I should always be perfect.
- I should never make wrong decisions.
- If only I hadn’t married so young, we would be further ahead financially.
- If only we hadn’t waited so long to have children, we wouldn’t be so exhausted today.
Of course, “shoulds” and “if onlys” are deceptive and irrational. But when they run on autopilot, they feel true. They make sense to our brains, so our brains keep believing them.
How To Get Rid of False Guilt
To get rid of false guilt, it’s important to take control of your thoughts. I (Les) wrote a new book with pastor Judah Smith called Bad Thoughts, which combines faith and psychology to help you identify and interrupt the automatic thoughts keeping you stuck. It’s a roadmap to healthier thoughts, infused with practical advice to help you along the way.
Bad Thoughts is right for you if you’re ready to release:
- False guilt and nagging regrets
- The disease to please that sabotages relationships
- Self-doubt that inhibits your confidence
- Pride that prevents true humility
Want to know more about Bad Thoughts? Click here to learn more and get your copy. It’s time to retrain your brain and become a healthier you.
Do you struggle with false guilt? Leave us a comment and let’s talk about it.
