Should I Discuss A Flirty Co-Worker With My Spouse?

Do I tell my spouse if a co-worker flirts with me in an unwanted manner?

Flirty co-workers…now that is a sensitive issue! Not only can a flirtatious work colleague make your work situation uncomfortable; they can also create a dilemma for you, when it comes to deciding whether to talk to your spouse about them.

In today’s video, we’re talking about navigating the tricky waters of unwanted flirtation in the workplace…and whether to tell your spouse about it.

It’s important to think through the pros and cons of keeping information like this to yourself. Ask yourself questions like…

  • Will my spouse become angry, over-reactive, or jealous?
  • Could my spouse’s response to this information harm my work situation?
  • Will my spouse receive the information graciously and, as a result, have more trust in me?
  • Could my co-worker’s actions lead others to falsely believe I’m returning the flirtation? How will this affect my relationship with my spouse?

Most people tend to have a higher comfort level the more their spouse discloses to them. Letting your spouse know about the situation with your co-worker, along with your own assessment of it (and any anxiety surrounding it), might provide reassurance for them. Revealing the dynamics of your interactions with that co-worker may help your spouse have a deeper trust for you. Most of us trust more, the more we know.

If, on the other hand, you think your spouse may jealously overreact–and potentially jeopardize your job–that’s worth some serious consideration. You don’t want your angry husband or wife to initiate any upsetting or damaging interactions with your co-worker, or anyone else at your workplace. In this case, it may be best to not share that information.

When it comes down to it, you’ve really just got to know and consider your spouse’s personality before deciding whether to disclose a co-worker’s flirtations. It may be better for you to handle the situation at work without bringing it home. You could kindly, but firmly, remind your co-worker that you’re married, and not comfortable with his or her advances. If the issue persists, you can always take your concerns up the chain of command (although we hope it doesn’t come to that!).

Have you dealt with a flirty co-worker? Did you tell your spouse? If so, how did he or she react? Tell us all about it in the comments section!

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