Let’s say you get great news, and you can’t wait to tell someone. Can you share it with family, friends, or coworkers first? Or should you wait to tell your spouse?
It can be tempting to let the big news slip before you get home. But when you share your excitement with everyone else first, that puts a damper on the moment you’ll share with your spouse later. You might not realize it, but you’re giving up important memories you could be making in your marriage.
Telling Everyone Else the Big News Can Dull Your Excitement
Sharing good news with everyone–before you share with your spouse–can dull your excitement. Let’s say you tend to be depleted at the end of the day. Before you even get home, you’ve shared the news with several friends, and maybe a family member.
By the time you arrive home to greet your spouse, the news doesn’t feel nearly as exciting. You felt energized earlier in the day. But now that you’ve processed the news with others, telling your spouse becomes an afterthought.
Years ago, Leslie felt she had to eavesdrop on my (Les’s) conversations with colleagues just so she’d know when I had big news. I would be so tired after taking calls and discussing the news that I was depleted. Rather than sharing with her, I would go to spend time with our boys.
My friend, John Maxwell, offered me this solution: “Rather than having some great news at work and then going around sharing it with all your colleagues, pick up the phone and share it with your spouse first. In fact, just discipline yourself not to talk to anybody else about it until you first talk to your spouse.” And what an amazing gift that advice was.
We started following John’s advice, and it helped each of us feel more loved. Even if we didn’t have much time in the moment to discuss what had happened, I would call Leslie into my office in the moment and let her know what was going on. Later on, when I was able, I’d share more detail. This method works for both good and bad news.
Flip the Script: How Would You Feel?
Consider how the situation might look if your roles were reversed. Think about how you might feel if your spouse failed to share good news with you. Would you feel left out or hurt? Would you want them to come to you first?
Part of feeling cherished in marriage is knowing your spouse treasures sharing good news with you. Your marriage should be the most prized relationship for both of you. And your actions should reflect that. Saving good news for your spouse first is just one way to give them your best.
To build a happy marriage, it’s essential to intentionally seek and create moments of joy. If you need a little guidance, our book, Making Happy, could be just what you need. You can learn more and pick up your copy here.
What do you think? Will you share good news with your spouse first? Let’s talk about it in the comments.
